Subtitled: Reasons My Friday Morning Has Sucked.
Things you should not say to a co-worker:
"Oh, I'm sorry. Perhaps you misunderstood. I meant RIGHT MOTHERFUCKING NOW."
Things you should not say to a customer:
"Why yes, I am here to take your abuse. Please continue to be rude and abrasive."
"Actually, I DON'T give much of a shit about your problem. It sucks that you have a problem, but your attitude and rude behavior precludes me from really caring."
Thank God it's lunchtime!
Edited to Add: These are things I thought but did not say. These are not things that were said to me. God, that would have been awful. Sorry for any confusion.