Friday, August 28, 2009

One More

Tess' comment reminded me of another story:

One time, Rock and I were involved in a situation in which every possible thing was fucked up. He just leaned over to me and quietly said,

"That poor goat."

Reason number 4652.

Scenes From a Marriage

Reason number 5012 why I married him:
Last night, we went to the Verizon store and got new phones. That's a story in itself, but I don't want to go into into it. Suffice it to say that it was a total goatscrew, but I walked out of there with (nearly) everything I wanted. The rest I can fix online or through customer service. It did cost an arm and a leg and take nearly two hours to resolve, but what the hell right? How else ya gonna spend a Thursday night? ANYWAY, long introduction to say that we were planning to go out to dinner after going to the Verizon store, but after the two hours there, the dinner word of the day was "drive-through" and the price point was "fast food". So we stopped at Wendy's. We placed our order, they told us it would be a few minutes and asked us to pull forward. While we waited, Rock made the comment that they better not give him old, cold fries since we had to wait on our sandwiches. About that time, they brought the food to our car. Rock immediately popped a french fry in his mouth and promptly started gasping in air. I turned to him, smiled sweetly, and said, "What? Didn't get the old fries, honey?" He replied, "If those french fries are old, their previous residence was hell."

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Rock and Roll

Stolen from Hot, because I didn't think I could do it.
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.
Are you Male or Female?
Black Country Woman
Describe Yourself:
Fool in the Rain
How Do You Feel?
Dazed and Confused
Where Do You Live?
Houses of the Holy
If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Down By the Seaside
Favorite Form Of Transportation?
South Bound Saurez
Your Best Friend?
Describe you and your best friends:
Good Times, Bad Times
Describe The Weather:
White Summer
Favorite Time Of Day?
Bring it on Home
If they made a TV show of your life, what would they call it?
Hey Hey What Can I Do
What is life to you?
Dancing Days
Describe an ex-relationship:
Livin Lovin Maid
Describe your current relationship:
All of My Love
Describe your job:
What is and What Should Never Be
Your Fear?
Gallows Pole
How would you like to die?
Stairway to Heaven
What is the state of your soul right now?
In the Light
Best Advice?
Your Time is Gonna Come
Thought Of The Day:
The Song Remains the Same
Nobody's Fault But Mine

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

No, I Don't Know Why I Wrote This, Either

An Ode to My New Purse

This new purse is too small
For all the shit I carry

This makes me sad,
For I love it -
Its fat, round shape
The smell of the new leather,
The fat round shoulder straps
The basic black that goes with everything
The way there's just enough room
Between the straps and the opening of the purse
To still reach into the purse
When it's on my shoulder

I tried to pare down,
Put less stuff in
Only the essentials
But the purse
Is still too full
Stuff bulges out the top

I've carried it for three days now
So far nothing has fallen out
But I think that's just luck
Not a sign that the purse
Will work long-term

Monday, August 24, 2009

WAY Inappropriate

Well, hello there! Look, I finally remembered my blog. So, how've you been? Your hair looks great - did you get it cut?

Random Celeb/ News Roundup:
  • That model that was found dead with her teeth pulled out and fingers cut off to slow identification of her body? They identified her by the serial number of her breast implants.
  • Thieves stole $1 million dollars in jewelry and clothes. They were sophisticated and broke into the store from the roof and covered their faces. But what store did they choose? JC Penney's. Yeah, that wouldn't have been my first choice, either.
  • Tori Spelling is hawking Q-Tips. No wait! The Q-Tips are in pretty little boxes. Doesn't that make you want to run out and buy them? No? Me either.
  • Courtney Love posted a picture of herself with a turtle on her head on Twitter. No, I don't know why. Let's look on the bright side - it could have been something way worse. This IS Courtney Love we're talking about. Although that turtle will probably want to take a long hot bath right about now.

BONUS Nerd's Corner: Um, there's a Facebook page for Lisbeth Salander (title character from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played With Fire). I cannot decide if this is cool and I want to friend her, or if it's hopelessly dorky and I should resist the temptation to friend her. limit my friend list to people who actually exist or not....

Speaking of which, I finished The Girl Who Played With Fire over the weekend and O!M!G! What a great book. Lisbeth Salander could be my favorite heroine of all time. How is it possible that we have to wait until next year to read the next book and how is it possible that Stieg Larsson is dead and there will not be any more books after the third one when he was planning a 10 book series. 10 books, people! Do you KNOW what I would do for there to be 10 books in this series?! I'd..I'd, well, I'd do a lot, that's what.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Random Random

Nerd out:
Friday night, we went out to dinner. As we got back in the car afterwards, Rock looked at me and said, "I know where you want to go.", grinned, and started driving. I didn't have anything on my mind, so I honestly had no idea where we were going. But I didn't say anything. (Shelly's Rules of Staying Happily Married #1 - Shut Your Mouth. Especially when he's doing something nice for you.) He got on the highway and drove for a few exits. Then, he pulled into the exit lane. I looked over and saw the big shopping center that has a Barnes and Noble. THEN I got excited. Because he remembered. I had told him that The Girl Who Played With Fire (sequel to The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo) was out and that I wanted to buy it as soon as possible, but I wasn't thinking about it right then. But he was. Because he remembered how important it was to me. Such a great guy.

To prepare to read The Girl Who Played With Fire, I'm re-reading Dragon Tattoo. Which would have been more beneficial had I thought of that BEFORE Fire came out. (Will be mercilessly shortening these titles from now on. GD, Stieg Larsson, maybe you could have thought that through a bit more.) Now, I'm just dying to start the new one.

I listened to the BEST book on cd last week. It was A Long Way Down, by Nick Hornby. It was read by three different voice actors, and because it was unabridged it was about 8 or 9 cds long. It was wonderful. In fact, (and I NEVER thought I would say this sentence) I think it was BETTER on cd than in print. Because the characters were so real. And having different voices and personalities made them so real. It had kind of a weak ending, but part of that may have been my disappointment that it was ending.

There are lots of pregnant ladies in the blogosphere right now. Big congrats to Mona, Sarah, Erin (who is having a GIRL!) and Devan (who is also having a GIRL!) And one of my RL friends just posted pictures of his newborn son on Facebook. He's got that stunned, "wow, how did I get HERE?" look and brought to mind Swistle's description of "newborn with bird limbs and woodland-creature eyes". Oh newborns! Sigh. I want one and don't want one in almost equal measure. But I'm to the point where I can be truly happy for others in their pregnancies/births. That's progress, for sure.