Friday, February 29, 2008

*Falls Over Dead*

This week has been CRAZY!!!! I have been so busy, I feel like I've done two week's worth of work! I seriously filled out a form today and put data from last week, because I honestly thought week ending 2/23 was week *before* last! The person I sent it to called me laughing and was like, "Do you know what week it is?" Um, NO! Actually, I don't.

I hope to post more next week. I've seen some cool memes that I'd like to do and I've thought of some things to post. Anyway, Happy Friday to all and to all a good night!

*falls over dead*

Monday, February 25, 2008


JMC gave me this award! It's my first award ever and it took me two days to figure out how to copy the picture from her blog to mine (sad, I know). Anyway, she likes me, she really likes me! You should all check out her blog, as she posts more frequently than I do and she's way funnier than I am (and she told the cocaine story! There, that should get get us both some hits.) Anyway, thanks so much, JMC, and I will try not to give the award to the same people you gave it to, but you did pick some of my favorites (*cough* Tessie and Alice *cough*). So, I will say that I am addicted to the following blogs: - My friend and name-twin Shelly! - Beth, who just had Baby Owen (so cute!) - PChef, who relates everything back to 90210 - is there anyone who is not addicted to Swistle? Are you dead? She is just fabulous. That woman has five children. I would be in the looney bin. She's not only sane, she's hilarious.
So, go enjoy their blogs and remember, you heard it here first! On the QT, off the record, and strictly Hush-Hush!

And Another Update

My Car is Ready! It was ready on Friday, but the body shop lost our phone number. So they called the insurance adjuster who neither called them back nor called us until today. I am really starting to hate this insurance company. This dude is entirely worthless. Nonetheless, hopefully, I will have my precious Civic back tomorrow. Which is delightful because I have been driving my in-laws Mercury Mountaineer. Which used to be our Mountaineer. It's a fine vehicle, don't get me wrong, and I made my peace with driving it on vacation last year. I can drive it fine. But in some ways I do still drive like I drive a Honda Civic. Like trying to cut in and out of traffic (oops). Or parking. I'm breaking my cardinal rule of "If you can't park it, don't drive it". I've done fine parking it, but there have definitely been some Nervous Tummy (thanks Tessie) moments when I realized that I was going to have park in a parking deck or some other small car parking area. And I have been parking on the other side of my office parking lot because I can just pull into the parking spot and then back out at the end of the day and there's nothing behind it. So I'm delighted that all of that can end and I can go back to my small car ways and parking where I like to park.

General Updates

Health of my family - Well, we all passed around the Creeping Crud. I was first, then Wildman, then Supergirl, then Rock. We're all on antibiotics now and slowly improving. We basically hibernated this weekend. After being sick since Friday before last, I went to the doctor last Friday and because I don't have a primary care physician, I got some European wacko who thought I should just "let it run its course". I was like, "Look, dude, I've been sick for a week, I still have a fever, and I've got two sick kids at home. It's time to start getting this family well! I'm not going to be the one who doesn't take the antibiotics and keeps this thing so that we can all pass it around again. The littlest one has an ear infection and is on ten days of antibiotics. That gives me ten days to get well so that I don't give him another ear infection!" I got the antibiotics.

My car - On Valentine's Day, we received a check from the insurance company to the body shop to pay for the repairs to my car. We got all excited, thinking the car might be ready! (Hey, they'd had it for 2.5 weeks, it wasn't entirely unreasonable.) So we called the body shop and asked. Their response? Well, the insurance company hadn't given them the go-ahead to fix the car, so they hadn't even started! Are you fucking kidding me?! So we called the insurance company. Their response? Well, it's your car, you have to give the go-ahead to fix it. No, moron, you're the insurance company! You say whether a car is totaled or you'll fix it. OF COURSE we want it fixed! It's OUR CAR! The insurance company was then going to call the body shop to tell them to fix the car. No news since then. Hopefully, it's at least being fixed now.

Ooh, spellchecker works again. This post brought to you by correctly spelled words. Missing words not included. HA! I kill me. (Anyone who gets that reference is my new best friend.)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

More Irrational

I was walking down the hall at work when suddenly I had the irrational fear that I had not put on matching shoes this morning. I looked down in a panic and of course, I was wrong, my shoes match. What the hell?

My left heel hurts this morning. I have no idea why. It didn't hurt when I went to bed, but it hurt when I woke up. (Note: this is not the ankle I broke three years ago.) Did I chase rabbits in my sleep like dogs do? And if so, does that count as a workout, because I totally want credit for that shit.

Speaking of irrational, Rock's stepfather locked himself out of his house the other day. That wasn't the irrational part. He came up to our house to see if Rock had a key to their house (again, not the irrational part - in addition to being family, we're also their closest neighbors). Rock did have a key and went down and unlocked their house and let him back in. Here I should explain that while we are their closest neighbors, our houses are separated by a pretty thick woods. You cannot see their house from ours or vice versa. Have I made you wait long enough for the irrational part? Well, apparently, he wasn't fully dressed. Now, when Rock told me this story, he said his stepfather was "half naked" and didn't specify. Well, he gardens and just generally works outside with plants and trees and such and so I thought Rock meant the guy had on pants and no shirt. Not the case. Seems he had on a shirt that just barely covered his naughty bits and a pair of boots. And that was it. Moral of the story: If you're going to go running around outside naked or nearly so, hide a full set of clothes in your car or somewhere else accessible in case you lock yourself out of your house. I swear to God, I would kill to hear the full story on that one.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Worried/ Blue

My little Wildman has an ear infection. This is our first brush with ear infections, as Supergirl has managed not to ever have one. But somehow, either through visiting with another child weekend before last, my sick co-workers or (irony) our trip to the doctor for his 15 month check-up last week, little man came in contact with some funk. I had it first (still have it, of course) and at first I thought it was a sinus infection, so I let him snuggle all over me last weekend. So I'm wracked with guilt that he might have picked it up from me. Worst Mother Ever, right here! So any advice y'all have about dealing with ear infections is more than welcome.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Meme Friday

Because I don't do many memes and because Michelle tagged me! (I love the attention!)

The Four Things Meme

4 Jobs I have had:
Cash register girl at Taco Bell (over Christmas during college. I wouldn't touch the food. They kept trying to train me on it, but I told them I was perfectly happy on the cash register. )
Telemarketer for Olan Mills
Scheduler for US Congressman
Waitress (well, of course)

4 places I've been:
Freeport, Bahamas
Vienna, Austria
Cozumel, Mexico

4 movies I've watched over and over:
Steel Magnolias
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
The Godfather I and II
Kill Bill Vol. II

4 shows I watch:
and um....other than that, I don't really watch tv. Sad, I know.
Here, I'll tell you 4 blogs I read every day who don't comment here. If you don't read them, you should!:

4 places I'd rather be right now:
At home, in bed, with the children at the grandparents
On the beach, preferably in the Carribean
Scottland (not that I've actually been there, I'm just guessing)
In a decadent hotel room with a huge bed and big fluffy comforter
Hanging out with friends (okay, that's five, what the hell - I'm feeling generous. Who knows, Scottland might suck.)

4 favorite things to eat: (ONLY four?!)
Cracker Barrell pancakes
Lindt Lindor truffles in Hazelnut
Baked potato soup
Filet mignon

4 places I've lived:
Oh, this one is sad.
North Carolina
North Carolina
North Carolina
North Carolina
(I have lived in four different cities, but they're all pretty close together and I do try to keep some anonymity here, so I think I'd better leave it that I've lived in the same couple of counties in the same state my whole life. I really thought I would leave, but somehow I just haven't.)

4 things I look forward to this new year:
Supergirl taking swimming lessons this summer
Wildman walking (a mixed blessing, I know!)
Hanging out with old college friends with whom we've reconnected
Hanging out with Rock

I would like to hear what these four have to say:

If any of you have already done this meme, I apologize for tagging you. Happy Friday!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


I suppose we all have those couple of things that we're just kind of weird about. I've read a few posts recently talking about irrational fears or ideas and it made me want to share a few of mine. And so, without further ado, Ways That I Am Crazy:

Things That Are Inherently Dirty - this started out as I Won't Touch Garbage Cans, but it has grown, oh, how it has grown. Now it includes newsprint, fireplace implements, garbage bags, and bullets (Rock is former military). The basic idea is that some things are Dirty and I really don't like to touch them. I can, if I have to, but then I have to wash my hands immediately. And I make faces when I have to touch them. I will actually move the garbage can in my office around with my feet. I've been doing it for years, so I'm quite good at it. Rock started off thinking this was a slightly cute personality quirk and was willing to take out the trash and replace the garbage bags so that I never had to touch them. As the list has grown, though, he's gotten a bit annoyed and is starting to think that I'm either insane or making the rules up to suit myself. He does still take out the trash and replace the garbage bags, though.

Snake in Toilet - Ehm, this one kind of started from those old country stories of critters in the toilet, maybe you've heard them? No? Well, there was also at least one news story of an actual snake in someone's toilet. So I just make it a point to look before I sit down.

Something Awful Happens While I am in Bathroom - it never fails that when I am in the bathroom or taking a shower, Rock and the kids have a screaming fit or there is a crashing thud. I have a horror that something drastic will happen while I am indisposed or showering and one of the children will be seriously hurt or dead. And then, when the police interview me, I'll be all, "I was in the bathroom. Yes, the whole time. No, I couldn't get up and go look. Well, yes, I did get up eventually. Yes, by then it was too late."

C'mon, tell me I'm not alone here. Share your irrational fear or thoughts in the comments.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

More Things Unsaid: Ex-Boyfriends Edition!

Believe it or not, that first list did not include any ex-boyfriends. So I got to thinking about those guys. The Ex List:

1. I broke your record. You weren't my last step before marriage. I came damn close to marrying the guy after you, but realized at almost the last minute that he wasn't the right one for me. I did marry the guy after him, though, so you were the next-to-last step before marriage.

2. I think you are probably gay. You may never admit it, but I think you probably are. I still wish you the best. We had a good time together.

3. You are one of the best stories from my dating history. I'm glad now that we didn't really date. Sorry I was such a dumb teeny-bopper back then. Now I would laugh at someone who didn't know what I didn't know then.

4. I heard a sad, pathetic story about what you had been up to several years back. I'm sure it was true because it had all of your hallmarks - expecting things to fall into your lap, not doing what you are assigned to do because you think it's beneath you, sending a woman to handle situations you are too embarrassed to handle yourself. I'm so glad I got away from you.

5. What was your DEAL? We only dated a couple weeks and you broke up with me. Then you hated me for years. And I tried really hard to be nice to you, because I didn't have any bad feelings towards you. What the fuck, dude?

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Things Unsaid

This cool meme-type thing is making it's way around the blogosphere. I saw it first at I Got Two, Babe. She gave credit to Swistle, as we all do, who gave credit to three other folks. Swistle's explanation was, "What you do is, you make a list of things you haven't said to people in your life. Each one should be directed at someone in particular. You don't say who you're saying each thing to, and you don't give a ton of backstory---you just say it." Being a person with some unresolved issues and the itching desire to tell some people off coupled with the Southern trait of being too polite to say what I'm actually thinking most of the time, I *love* these things!

1. I think you were a little confused when I stopped talking to you. I hope you've figured it out by now. Yes, the little rip-off your husband pulled with my car had a lot to do with it. But the biggest part was that the more I got to know you, the less I liked you. That's the biggest reason I wanted to stop riding with you to our "Girl's Weekends" - you used the drive home as a confessional! "Why don't I feel richer than So-and-so? I know I make more money than her!" Here's a tip, genius - if your husband wasn't blowing half your money on p-o-t, you just might feel a little richer.

2. I still love you. I'm really sad that you're mentally ill and that we can't be close. I still really want the kind of relationship that other people have.

3. I don't hate you. I don't actually wish you any harm, or harbor any ill will toward you. I think you are a little dysfunctional and I can't be your friend for a lot of different reasons. But I do hope that you someday find happiness. Whatever the definition of that is for you.

4. I still miss you. I'm sorry that your life was so difficult. I know that part of that was brought on by your choice of husband. I'm sorry I added to the difficulty at the end of your life. I'll always feel a little guilty for your second stroke. I really hope it wasn't my fault.

5. You backstabbed me and prevented me from getting a reward. Well, I hope you enjoy it. Enjoy your reward and the fact that you got a reward and I didn't. Because you fucked yourself twice as hard as I ever could have if I had tried to get back at you. Your boss knows what you did and thinks you're a petty little shit for doing it. And thinks I'm a class act for handling it graciously. He's right on both counts. You showed him your true character and mine with what you did, so thanks!

6. I don't think I can trust you. I thought I could initially, but looking back at some things, I think I may have been wrong. I'm going to be very cautious around you and see how things go.

7. It's now 7 years after you predicted that my relationship would fall apart and I'm more happily married than anyone else I know. I wish I knew where you were to rub it in your face.

Monday, February 4, 2008

If Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, Y'all Should be Crazy About Me, Right?

Oh y'all....last week was awful! I mean a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. It started rough, because I didn't sleep well last Sunday night. Then Monday night, Rock and I argued over stupid house stuff, and then stayed up late doing some house cleaning and random stuff like that. So Tuesday, I was so tired driving to work that my right eye was twitching. Then, Tuesday at work, everyone had been hit with the Stupid Stick. I emailed a friend of mine that I hadn't had enough sleep to be nice to these people! It was interesting to find out that the part of my personality that relies on a good night's sleep is my patience and cheerfulness. Wednesday, when I thought things were improving, I got my nails done at lunch and picked what I thought was a pretty deep purple color. Turns out it's black. Great. Now I look like some aging Goth wannabe. I seriously expected Rock to be like, "What the hell is that? You have two kids. And you were never a Goth." But he didn't really get the chance to say much because.....

I hit a deer on the way home from work. Two asshole deer ran out into the highway and I missed the first one, but I couldn't miss the second one. It hit the left front of my car, and I stopped and checked everything out and thought that most everything was fine. I knew that the hood was dented (bastard!) and that my side mirror was hanging on by some wires (fucker!) - which turned out to be the wires to the speaker for my car stereo, which I have only had for a year, you asshole fucker deer! Ahem. The speaker no longer works, as you can probably tell. And I have some anger management issues when it comes to deer. (I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU BASTARDS!!!!) AHEM. Anyway. (Yes, there is a previous collision with a deer - I'll tell you that story another day.) When I got home, Rock checked the car out, and said, "You're lucky you made it home!" Turns out, the deer hit the radiator. We've contacted the insurance company and they're going to fix the car, which is awesome! We were worried that they wouldn't because it's a 2000, but it's a Honda, and they hold their value so much better than other cars that they weren't too worried about the damage. So I think it's all going to work out. Reason number 5,266 for buying a Honda - right behind they're really pretty and get great gas mileage and are super fucking reliable. Oh my God, I miss my car. I hid under my desk for most of Thursday and Friday, so they were pretty uneventful.