Wednesday, June 3, 2009

As The Uterus Turns

First things first - Hair update:
Important things I have learned in the past week:
  • The actual purpose of blow-drying. Before, I thought blow-drying was just to get the water out of my hair. Then I styled it with a curling iron or flat iron to create a "style" (we'll be using that term loosely - this is me we're talking about and nothing about me can be called stylish.) In the past week, though, I have realized that I can use the hair dryer to create the shell of the style I want. In fact, the shell I create through blow-drying is the style I get, regardless of how badly I screw it up. If I don't get it right the first time, I might as well go back to bed and pull the covers up over my head.

  • The usefulness of leave-in conditioner and straightening gel. Rock uses leave-in conditioner on Supergirl's hair and has always told me I should use it, too. But I've always disdained using any products in my hair, so I resisted. I tried it the other morning and managed to create a curly hair style that stayed all day and didn't get frizzy. Yes, Rock gloated. A lot. And today, I'm trying some old straightening gel that I found in my cabinet and am rocking a straight style. It's after lunchtime and it still looks pretty good, so I suppose I can qualify that as a success, too.

So, I swore (to myself), that I wasn't going to discuss this subject again. But I really can't resist. It does help to write things out. Plus, you guys are awesome and totally supportive and I want to make out with all of you. Yesterday, after a day or two of denial, I counted the days to see if my period was, in fact, late. It is. Today makes three days late. I did this in the middle of the day yesterday which was a terrible idea, because then I spent the rest of the day trying not to freak out at work. Because holy conflicted emotions, Batman! One the one hand, I would be thrilled to be pregnant again. But on the other hand, I would be terrified to be pregnant again. On the third hand, (what? it's just for the sake of argument - no one really has three hands.) I would be annoyed to be pregnant. I would really like to lose some weight before getting pregnant again, and have finally started making some progress in that area, so admittedly, I would be annoyed to have that interrupted. So I would be relieved to not be pregnant, except that I would be disappointed to not be pregnant, because, you know, I WOULDN'T BE PREGNANT. How's THAT for a no-win situation? Or y'know, win-win, cause I'd actually be pretty happy either way. Well, thank god for those cheap, early pregnancy tests, because I took one last night at 10:00 (negative) and then took another first thing this morning (also negative) because I realized that taking a pregnancy test at 10:00 after drinking water all day might not be the most effective way to get an answer to this question. So. Not pregnant, yet no period. Whatevs. At least I know I'm not pregnant so I can stop freaking out. And, y'know, have a glass of wine or two with my friends this weekend.

Snarky Facebook comment of the day (ie. Comment I would like to leave on a friend's status):
If you think of high school as "the best times ever", you probably need to get out more.


Alice said...

this is seriously the best post title EVER.

man, i wish putting shit in my hair made it... do stuff. my hair's only general style is "limp and stringy," and no amount of styling seems to impact it.

Shelly said...

Alice - thank you! I actually thought long and hard about it. Titling does not come naturally to me.

Yeah, I thought that, too. But these really seem to help. It's Aussie leave-in conditioner and Aveda straightening stuff.

Anonymous said...

I also love the post title.

In more love news, I would LOVE to post that about people who think high school was "it". Are you freaking serious? Did you GO to high school? Must be so sad to peak at 17.

I'm happy/sad for you about the pregnancy thing. I know you understand what I mean. Hugs!

The Hotfessional said...

High School? Seriously? Ugh.

I'm glad you're okay with the result... {hugs}

Hyphen Mama said...

I have a cowlick on the left of the back of my head. No amount of product or blow drying EVER makes it manageable. I do love, though, how your husband suggested hair product. I guess I don't get that since my husband is BALD and wouldn't know what leave-in conditioner is anyway.

I'm glad you did the pregnancy test. At least you know!! And can say "Okay, now I'm going to work on my body... and in a few months when I AM pregnant, it's going to be perfect." Or something.

Shelly said...

Shelly - thank you! Well, I keep thinking these snarky things about the statuses my friends post, and then suddenly I realized, "I can post that on my blog, where my friends know I'm kinda bitchy and will think it's funny!", so I think this will be a recurring feature.

And thank you. Yes, I know exactly what you mean.

Shelly said...

Hot - I know, that's exactly what I thought!

Thanks, yeah, I'm fine. : )

Shelly said...

Hyphen - that's the best part about it - my hubby is bald, too! He shaves his head. But, he's taken care of Supergirl's hair for years, which is halfway down her back long, and he's learned enough that he thinks he's a hair expert!

Yes, exactly! That's just what I want to do.

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