Random

I have several ideas of things to write about in my head right now, so this will probably end up being one of those really disjointed, bulleted list posts. (You: And that's different from your usual posts HOW?) Lots of bloggers are talking about really interesting things, so I'll piggy back on a couple great posts.

Molly, at Les Cadeaux, asserts that a bad haircut is worse than bad sex. I agree. I have bangs right now, for the first time in years, and I go back and forth on them. Some days, I really like them. They frame my face better and prevent fivehead, which I am way prone to. However, they are a bitch to style and I have a cowlick right in the middle of the bangs that I have to style them around. The days I don't succeed, I wind up with my bangs flipping out in each direction from the dead middle. Also, for some reason, my hair is no longer getting along with my curling iron. I curl my hair in the morning, and by the time I get to work, it's a frizzy mess that looks like I didn't style it at all. My other option is straightening, which to straighten my wavy hair requires the hottest flat iron I've ever found on its highest setting. Is it possible that because I've been straightening my hair lately, and because the curling iron is cooler than the flat iron, then my hair doesn't respond to the curling iron?

I won't tell you how bad my evening was last night, but let's just say that this morning I want to list vacation destinations I would like to see in my lifetime (possibly alone).

• Hawaii
• Scotland - I want to take my dad. This is our ancestry, so he would love it.
• Vienna - I went after college and really want to go back and take the kids.
• London
• Paris
• Sweden

So tell me, where do you want to go on vacation?

Parenting FAIL

So last night, as we were getting ready for bed, I was playing with Wildman and happened to look in his mouth. Y'know, because I LOVE baby teeth. There is something awesome about those little, teeny tiny teeth that makes me just want to snorfle him up with my nose. Anyway, as I looked at his teeth, I noticed that his molars had what looked like black spots on their surfaces and immediately freaked the freak out:

Oh my God, he has cavities! Huge, black cavities on both molars on that side. Let me check the other side - oh God, there are cavities on that side, too! He's only two and his teeth are going to rot and fall out and he'll be gumming his food for the rest of life! I have failed and my child will be toothless like an old man before he can speak clearly!

...Or are those crumbs from the Oreos he ate 15 minutes ago? Oh. Let me brush his teeth and see. Oh, look, shiny clean teeth with no cavities.

Tidbits

Side note: Fiona, you're right - Tidbits is a satisfying little word. And yes, it sounds like cat food.

Another way I'm weird: sometimes I'm psychic about which elevator will come. There are three elevators in our office building - you push one button, one of three will soon open. Sometimes I feel strongly that one certain elevator will be the one to open. Typical of me - I'm psychic about something lame, like which elevator will open, rather than something useful like lottery numbers or when my children are about to swallow something dangerous.

Rock and I have two friends who are going through difficult situations. The good news is that apparently, he and I are the reliable friends who can be turned to in times of crisis and be counted on for advice and assistance. This makes me feel good about us. We're solid and people trust us. OMG, I think we're grownups.

And I know, I KNOW, this is mean, but I'm truly surprised that some of the people I was friends with in school have turned into "Praise the Lord" Christians who post wacky religious stuff on Facebook. One of them just posted, "Another great day in my life - Thanks God for looking after me!!!" A few months ago, he said something about waiting on God's big "O" moment and I could.not.stop.laughing. No no, don't worry about me - I've been going to hell for years.


I'm almost to 200 posts! What should we do to commemorate that? Have a contest, ask me questions, what? I hit 100 posts last year and posted pictures of the whole family. What would you like to see this year?

Hypothetically Speaking

If, hypothetically, you are constipated, you could eat a Fiber One bar to help with that problem. HOWEVER, if, hypothetically, you are NOT constipated, and in fact, generally lean a bit in the other direction, eating a Fiber One bar will have the same effect on you and try to correct the problem you DO NOT have. By the end of the day, you will be afraid to be more than 5 feet from a toilet. Y'know, HYPOTHETICALLY.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who Pooped 15 Times Yesterday

In other news, meet the world's smallest biker: (That's actually just a bandanna my husband uses when he works outside. No actual motorcycles were involved in the making of this picture.)

Things That Have Been on My Mind Lately

Um, hi! Long time no talk, huh? Sorry 'bout disappearing. Things have been hectic lately, mainly in the non-discussable work sector. Work's been busy and I went to Richmond for training last week. (Would totally have asked if anyone wanted to meet up, but given that my availability fell from 9-11 Wed. or Thursday night, I didn't figure anyone would be interested.) We've also done one round of lay-offs, so I've been trying to be SuperEmployee to avoid being considered "lay-off-able". "Look, look, I can get here on time!" "Look, look, I can solve your problem!" Gah. That's such a bad feeling.

The other night I was talking to a friend who is single and has no children. She has a dog, though, and we always talk about how much dogs have in common with children. I've told her several times that dogs are excellent preparation for having children. But really, you need lessons from dogs and cats to truly be ready for children:
From dogs:
CANNOT be left unattended.
WILL chew or otherwise destroy all toys (and non-toys) that they come into contact with.
Likely to pee on your bed/couch/floor.
Boundless energy and curiosity about the world, other dogs, other people, basically everyone.

From cats:
Might be finicky eater.
Will not snuggle or sit in your lap when you want them to.
WILL randomly crawl into your lap and snuggle when THEY want to.