Realization

This isn't what I planned to post today, but something just hit me. When I first broke contact with my mother, I was completely paranoid about her knowing any information about me or my life. I didn't want to know I was pregnant with Wildman (which was over a year after I stopped talking to her), didn't want her to know that we call him his middle name instead of his first name, etc. (She did find out that I was pregnant - my uncle and cousins visited from out of state and I told them. And I made sure word got back to her when he was born - I told her brother - I'm not totally heartless.) I didn't really examine why I felt that way, but looking back, I think it was fear. I didn't want her anywhere near me or anything of mine because she always took over. (Small example, when I was in college, Bath and Body Works Freesia was my "signature scent". When she wanted to pick out some Bath and Body Works stuff for herself, she immediately wanted to get Freesia. She wanted to hang out with my friends, she wanted to come to college and go to stuff with me, and on and on.)

Today I realized that I don't mind if my mother knows some things about my life. Recently, my former friend Heather's younger sister friended me on Facebook. I thought about for a day or so, then accepted the request. Yesterday, my oldest friend Amy, whose parents are very good friends with my mother, and with whom I had lost contact about 5 years ago, friended me on Facebook. I accepted the request, and I just finished writing her a very long, very detailed update on my life, my marriage, my job, and the kids.

I'm not ready to interact directly with my mother yet, but I don't feel as protective about my life anymore. Odd - growing up, I shared a lot with her. I felt sorry for her because she didn't have a love relationship anymore and had very few friends. I'm pretty generous by nature and I felt like I had so much and she had so little, so I tried to share. Then, when I got fed up, I shut her out of my life entirely. Now, I'm willing to let her in partway. I wonder where this will go.

Updates

I offered my husband anything he wanted in bed last night...

Why? Well, aside from his general wonderfulness, HE FIXED THE WASHING MACHINE yesterday. Yes, it had been broken since the end of August. Yes, it took Staber a month to send the new circuit board (Staber - awesome washing machines, crap support). But the glorious sound of clothes washing IN MY OWN HOME was such music to my ears I could barely stand it.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Happy Monday!

Weekend

Open letter to the other diners at Outback in Burlington on Sunday night:

Um yeah, so I owe y'all an apology. You were sitting there, peacefully enjoying your dinner, when my son made that god-awful retching sound. He was fine, he didn't even barf, that's just something he does occasionally, when he has too much food in his mouth. He makes this hideous ralphing sound, stops chewing and kinda looks like he's gonna puke his guts up, then settles down and starts chewing again. It's weird, it's gross, I freak out every time he does it, but he's always fine and he almost never barfs. And yeah, that was me laughing hysterically afterward. We were so embarrassed and I couldn't even look up from the table, but I could. not. stop. laughing. My child was fine, but I could just imagine what the rest of you were thinking. Had I not been at my own table, I probably would have had a hard time not puking myself. What's funny is that both children had been at the grandparents' house just before that, and had both already eaten, so we easily could have left them there and gone out to dinner by ourselves. (Guess what we'll do next time?)

Happy Birthday

My little Wildman turns two today! From this:

To this:

Happy Birthday, my little sweetie. I've posted his birth story before, but he was born by not-emergency-but pretty speedy c-section at about 10:00 at night. (Rock and I really couldn't remember last night. I think it was closer to 9:30, but he said it was around 10:45. I'll have to get out his birth certificate and check to see who's right.) He is a total sweetheart, but into everything. Cannot be left alone for a minute.

Also, a story from Supergirl. Yesterday, I wore my winter coat for the first time. I love it - it's a black and tan faux fur coat. I always refer to it as "the faux fur coat", which with my Southern accent, ends up sounding like "fofur". Heh. Here's a picture, although it looks better in reality:

(Photo credit to Bonanza Jellybean)

When I got home last night, I had the coat in my hand. Supergirl walks up, pets the coat, then starts rubbing her cheek against it, saying, "I love it!" Then she looks up at me and says, "Is it made of cat?"

Halloween Pictures

Wildman's initial reaction to the skunk costume:

Fortunately, we got him over that with the time-honored parental tradition of bribery with candy. Here he is, happy in his skunkness:

And Supergirl, happy as a butterfly fairy:

(Or maybe it's just the whoppers in her hand!)

Nah, she was really happy. She loved the face paint. And glitter. And wand. And the tiara. And the wings. Okay, you get the picture.

Have a great weekend, everyone. Today is Friday-For-Me!

Election Day

Please go vote today everyone. Vote for whomever you choose, for whatever reason. Just vote. Celebrate living in this country where we have the right, privilege and responsibility to vote. I voted this morning before work. At 7:15, I was one of a small handful of people at my local polling place. Fifteen minutes later, I had voted and was out the door and on the way to work. Just one of the advantages to living in BFE. Heh.

Halloween was great. We took the kids to Rock's dad and stepmother's subdivision and went trick-or-treating. We weren't out long, just up and down their street (it was getting cold and dark). We went back to their house and handed out candy to trick-or-treaters. Wildman really got into it, reaching in for candy at other people's houses and walking down the steps to give candy to other children. He got up close to some of the other kids, and tried to touch their costumes. The kid's costumes were great - Wildman was an adorable skunk and Supergirl's butterfly fairy costume turned out well. I wasn't able to iron on a picture of Barbie Mariposa, because I couldn't find one that would print out in color, but I got her some "fairy" face makeup with glitter and little stick-on "gems" and she was thrilled with that. I'll post pictures as soon as I can.

And thank you all, so very much, for your concern and prayers for my friend Danielle. I let her know that you were thinking of her. I really appreciate all your kind words and thoughts.

Friendship, Part Two

The situation with my friend Danielle has been resolved. She is home and recovering. They are having a small funeral service tomorrow for the baby. I'm going to drive up to VA tomorrow morning, attend the service, spend some time with her, and then drive home tomorrow night. It'll be about 6 hours of driving, but it's worth it to be there for my friend.

I've learned so much about friendship in the last few months. When I posted this, I was conflicted and felt like I had been a crappy friend most of my life. Since then, some college friends have come back into my life, Danielle and I have become closer friends, and I have strengthened some other, long-standing friendships. I feel like I've been given a second chance. I'm grateful, and I'm working on my friendships. I realized that part of the problem is that I took my friends for granted and assumed that they would always be there, always want to be friends with me. Now, I've realized that the best thing I can do is treat my friends the way I want to be treated. It was difficult to be there for Danielle throughout this because I live so far away. I felt like there was so little I could do. I sent her flowers while she was in the hospital and text messaged her every day to see how she was. If I lived closer, I would have visited her in the hospital, taken her magazines and food, looked after her son while the whole family was at the hospital, so much more than I could do from here. But she knew I cared, that I was concerned about her, that I was here for her. And that's what matters.