Friday, October 30, 2009

Not Winning Mother of the Year This Year

Monday night, I took Supergirl to Target. On our fairly short list was the movie Clue. (A Halloween recommendation from Malnurtured Snay.) We wandered the entire movie section looking for it. As we wandered, Supergirl was drawn to another movie. Not Hello Kitty, or Barbie, or anything else appropriate for a seven year old girl, oh no. Not my daughter. No, she was drawn to the Snoop Doggy Dogg movie. Yeah, the one with "Pimping" written across his forehead. Which she promptly started sounding out. And turned to me and said, "Mommy, what's this word? Pii, piim, piiimp..." Oh. My. Hell. I had about 3.2 seconds to distract her with, "You don't need to know that word, honey. Look over here!" Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Seriously, HOW did a simple trip to Target involve the word PIMPING?" and "Rock is so going to kill me if she comes home from Target and her new word is pimping!"

The other night, I had Wildman convinced that he had a tail. We were having some discussion about animals and how animals had tails and people don't. And I said, "Except some people. Like you kids. You both have tails. You got them from me. I have a tail, too. Tails run in my family. They don't run in your daddy's family." Rock snorted at that one. I'm kind of "that person" in my family - I say weird things to see if the kids will believe me. Supergirl is too old, she doesn't believe my wild stuff anymore. Wildman is still a little susceptible, though. We ran around for a while, shouting about having tails. Then, he decided that he didn't really have a tail and that was pretty much the end of it. Just another way I'm trying to warp my kids.

16 comments:

Hyphen Mama said...

BWAHAHAHAHAH... PIMPING!! That would SO happen to me. "Mommy, what is pimping?" UGH. I never realized being a parent was going to involve so much lying. I tell my kids little goofy stories, too. I told Wynnie I got her a box of band-aids for her birthday. She didn't believe me, she knew I'd gotten her the scooter she asked for. Drat!

Alice said...

oh man, my dad was the KING of making up weird shit to see if we'd believe it. i caught on after a while, but my little sister didn't for AGES. nor did my friends, as they weren't exposed to him as much. and now i do it to kids, too. i think it's genetic. (like tails!)

d e v a n said...

hee! Pimping - totally not your fault! Blame Snoop Dog.

My dad does the make up weird shit too. Still! All the time!

Malnurtured Snay said...

Did you find a copy of it, though? I was looking for two copies for gifts, and I had to scour the DVD section at my local Target on three separate occasions before I finally found one of the two I need.

Shelly Overlook said...

My dad used to order breaded chicken lips in restaurants to mess with the wait person. I think I was in my mid teens before it dawned on me that chickens didn't have lips.

Shelly said...

Hyphen - I know, right?! Most other people could take their child to Target and have a nice, peaceful trip, right? But not us, OH NO! We get the kids who find the pimping movie! Yeah, I tell myself it's not so much lying as it is "glossing over" things.

I like the goofy stories. I think the kids do, too.

Shelly said...

Alice - I think both my kids will catch on pretty young. I wish I had a gullible one like your sister.

Shelly said...

Devan - I totally blame Snoop Dogg! If that bastard didn't have a movie out, I wouldn't have had to answer any questions!

Shelly said...

Mal - Yes, I did find a copy! On the $5 rack, which I found AFTER looking through all the other movies. Even though it was clearly marked and in the middle of the floor. In fact, if you still need a copy, I think they have more. I can go back and check. I bought the game to go with it, too.

We have not watched it yet, though, because we have been sick again.

Shelly said...

Shelly - heh heh. I love your dad.

Tyler said...

I can't wait until my kid is old enough to mess with like that.

Shelly said...

Hey Tyler and welcome! Kids are fun to mess with. Eventually, they outgrow it and stop believing your bullshit, so you have to start early.

Malnurtured Snay said...

Shelly - glad you found it! How did the little one like it?

I actually bought the last copy I needed off Amazon - it was a buck more, which means I'm sure I'll see a whole bunch of 'em at Target this weekend, but whatever. :)

Shelly said...

Mal - we haven't watched it yet - we're planning on watching it tonight!

Swistle said...

Paul does that same stuff! He will say it almost completely deadpan but with just a teeny twinkle so our brighter children have started pausing and then saying, "...Are you just kidding?" instead of diving into a big argument with him.

Shelly said...

Swistle - Yay for Paul! I love that.