Friendship, Part Two

The situation with my friend Danielle has been resolved. She is home and recovering. They are having a small funeral service tomorrow for the baby. I'm going to drive up to VA tomorrow morning, attend the service, spend some time with her, and then drive home tomorrow night. It'll be about 6 hours of driving, but it's worth it to be there for my friend.

I've learned so much about friendship in the last few months. When I posted this, I was conflicted and felt like I had been a crappy friend most of my life. Since then, some college friends have come back into my life, Danielle and I have become closer friends, and I have strengthened some other, long-standing friendships. I feel like I've been given a second chance. I'm grateful, and I'm working on my friendships. I realized that part of the problem is that I took my friends for granted and assumed that they would always be there, always want to be friends with me. Now, I've realized that the best thing I can do is treat my friends the way I want to be treated. It was difficult to be there for Danielle throughout this because I live so far away. I felt like there was so little I could do. I sent her flowers while she was in the hospital and text messaged her every day to see how she was. If I lived closer, I would have visited her in the hospital, taken her magazines and food, looked after her son while the whole family was at the hospital, so much more than I could do from here. But she knew I cared, that I was concerned about her, that I was here for her. And that's what matters.

On a Lighter Note

God, could this blog get any more depressing?! Time for a break.

My co-workers are currently playing the song "Thriller". I walked out of my office and said, "Okay, show of hands - who actually owned the Thriller album?". One hand (other than my own) went up. I looked at the guy with his hand raised and said, "Album? Vinyl?" He lowered his hand and said, "Tape."

Oh my God, I work with children.

Into the Fray

I'm totally out of it today. I'm distracted by the situation with my friend Danielle, which is still going on. She's been in labor since Friday night, with no progress. They're going to give it until tomorrow and then try something more invasive. Which probably means abortion. Now, I'm going to out on a limb here and say something that may be controversial. I think the debate about abortion needs a fundamental overhaul. First, let me state for the record that I am, and always have been, firmly pro-choice. Abortion should be legal. But, like they say in Pulp Fiction, not 100% legal. I think that we need to separate abortions for medical reasons from abortions for choice. In cases where there is a problem with the pregnancy, or the mother, or the baby, abortion should be 100% legal. Doctors should be able to do everything in their power to save mothers and babies and to end pregnancies that cannot continue. Yes, the mother's life should come first, period. However, for cases that are purely choice, (ie, healthy mother, healthy baby, no medical problems), there should be a cut off point past which abortion is no longer an option. Five or six months is plenty of time to make up your mind about whether or not you want to have the baby. And if your situation changes, there is always adoption. There is no reason to end a baby's life as it is being born. At that point, adoption should be the primary option. And we need more services to place those babies in homes. The only non-offensive anti-abortion bumper sticker I've ever seen said, "Don't abort - I'll adopt". We need more people with that attitude. I think so much of this gets lost in the debate about abortion. And it's turned into such a black and white issue - it's either all abortions are 100% legal, or no abortions are legal. There's middle ground, and we need to work together to find it.

Sad Update

I just got a call from my friend Danielle. There is no amniotic fluid left. She's on her way to the hospital where they will induce labor to deliver a baby too early to survive.

I don't have words except to say that this situation could not suck any worse.

As Tears Go By

Oh, I have so much to update you all on. Every day this week, I've had a post in my head, but haven't had time to write it up. First and foremost, thank you all for the birthday wishes! You're all so sweet and lovely. And presents! There were book presents (lots)(I'll post a picture soon!), and Internet presents! Hotfessional gave me the One Sweet Blog Award, which was awesome of her. I will pass that one along to Shelly Overlook and Jess Loolu, because not only are their blogs fantastic, but their comments on other people's blogs are always thoughtful, insightful, and caring. And I won a book contest at Jess Riley's blog! Yay! Another book to look forward to!

Birthday weekend recap: I had Friday off work, so we rented movies, played with the kids, and bummed around the house in our pajamas all day. A great relaxing, no-stress day. We also planned a little cookout for ourselves, Rock's mom and stepdad and my dad and stepmom. I wanted to have the cookout on Sunday, so that Saturday could be low-stress, too, but my dad and stepmom had a scheduling conflict with Sunday, so the cookout had to be on Saturday. Which meant that Rock's mother would be at work until time for it to start, so I would have to make the side dishes and get everything ready. No big deal, right? Well, that's what I thought, until Saturday turned out to be one of those "AntiMidas" days. Y'know, when you have the opposite of the Midas touch? Instead of gold, everything I touched turned to shit. The second I stepped into the shower, my dad called. Someone knocked on our door when we were all fresh from showers and baths and not dressed. (It turned out to be the mailperson.) Then we started cooking. We had only two things to make, baked beans and a taco dip with refried beans, sour cream and cheese. Simplicity, right? Well, I hadn't bought refried beans while we were at the grocery store because I was sure that we had some at home. WRONG! No refried beans. We decided to make the dip anyway, replacing the beans with ground beef, and pressed on. Rock browned some ground beef to use in both the dip and the baked beans, and I mixed up the other dip ingredients and tried to open the can of beans to pour them in the baking dish. Except our damn can opener hates me, so it just wouldn't work. I punched about five holes in the top of the can before I gave up and asked Rock to do it. (He griped about what a mess I had made of the can top before I gave up. Guess who's buying a new can opener this weekend?) We got the baked beans ready and into the oven, the beef was ready to spread in the pan as the bottom layer of the dip, and then! Rock discovered that I had forgotten to wash out ANY of the bowls or baking dishes we were using (baked beans in one, beef dumped in one to spread, mixing bowl with sour cream in it to mix for dip). Which would ordinarily be a small problem - our cabinets are clean, right? Except that not too long ago, our Fire King mixing bowl had broken IN THE CABINET! (Remember that post? The bowl randomly broke one Sunday morning?) Yeah, so there were pieces of glass in the baking dish. Rock completely freaked. I started crying. Finally, we pulled it together and scraped the beef out of the baking dish, leaving a small layer, which we discarded, and then washed it thoroughly. We did the same with the mixing bowl, and looked through the bottom of the baking dish the beans were in and didn't see any glass (and said a small prayer). (You totally want to come to my house for dinner, don't you? Come on in, we're having beans and glass! It's a delicacy.) Fortunately, the rest of the cooking passed without incident. (Really, what else was there to go wrong at that point? I would have had to cut off my hand with the electric mixer for things to get worse.) We got the food organized, the kids ready, and loaded up our Ford Excursion to go down to the in-laws house, which is literally one minute down our driveway. So I didn't put Wildman in his carseat. I just set him on the back seat. (Now I'm not sure what I was thinking, because this is the child who opened the car door and almost fell out when I was driving him from the middle of our driveway up to our parking area-about 200 feet or so. I had to lock the doors to keep him in my little Civic!) Then, once we got to the in-laws', I opened the back door without looking in the window to see where he was. He was leaning against the door, of course, and so he slid out and slid down the side of the SUV and onto the ground before I could catch him. Talk about wanting to die! Is there any feeling worse than accidentally allowing your child to get hurt? Didn't think so. I can still see him sliding down the side of that car if I close my eyes. (Why yes, I will accept the Worst Mother of the Year award now, thank you.) Thank God, he was completely fine, and the rest of Saturday passed without incident. (Again, there wasn't much more that COULD go wrong.) I have never been so glad to see my birthday end as I was this year. Sunday was complete bliss though. We slept late, made omelets for breakfast, and then headed to the other grandparents' house to drop off the kids. Then, we went to Barnes and Noble, had coffee and book shopped for a couple hours. It was fabulous. I got some great books that I am really looking forward to reading - "Hardly Knew Her" by Laura Lippman, "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" by Steig Larson, "Mr. White's Confession" by Robert Clark, "The Broken Shore" by Peter Temple, "Slam" by Nick Hornby, "Shopgirl" by Steve Martin, "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand, and "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" by Junot Diaz. Then, we picked up the kids and went out to dinner at our favorite local Mexican restaurant. So the weekend ended well.

Yesterday, though, one of my closest friends called me. She's 17 weeks pregnant with her second child, a much longed for and awaited event. They tried for close to a year before she got pregnant. Yesterday, she started leaking amniotic fluid. It's way too early for that. If it doesn't stop (and soon!), she will either go into labor, or have to terminate the pregnancy. The baby will not be viable at this point. I cried with her on the phone last night. Then I called my dad and asked him and his four churches (he's a minister) to pray for her. So please, keep my friend Danielle in your thoughts.

Happy Day

Tomorrow I'm off work...because....Saturday is my birthday! Yay! I'm still like little kid - I love my birthday. It helps that I am totally happy with my age. I don't have any problem with the fact that I'll be 32 on Saturday. I had told Rock that I wanted the new dvd of LA Confidential for my birthday present a few weeks ago. Well, last weekend, he says, "I have no idea what to get you for your birthday. So I think I'll take you to Barnes and Noble for a small shopping spree." Bwhahaha!!!! So after I sleep in tomorrow, that's where we'll be headed.

Have a great weekend everyone!

And One More Thing...

On the subject of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you wear contacts, Bausch and Lomb is donating a dollar for every bottle of contact solution sold. The boxes have a pink panel on the top. I think you have to go to www.bausch.com and enter a code from the box, but I haven't done it yet. I bought two bottles over the weekend, so I'll let y'all know when I complete the process to get them to donate.

Happy Tuesday!

Odds and Ends

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! This is a disease that is near and dear to my heart, because my great-aunt died of breast cancer. So I always try to help get the word out about October. As she did last year, my good friend Hotfessional has an awesome contest up! Jump over to her site and sign up. I really admire Hot for this contest. She's an awesome lady and this contest just demonstrates why. Love ya, Hot!

I haven't been posting much, and for a weird reason. I haven't been wasting nearly as much time at work. I've discovered a new Energy packet that you can add at Starbuck's - it's all natural guarana, B complex vitamins, and ginseng. I get it added to my coffee every morning. And I feel so much better! I'm not groggy and lethargic anymore. I actually accomplish things at work and at home and that makes me want to do more. So I kind of apologize for neglecting my blog. But I kind of don't.

I've figured out the kids' Halloween costumes! Supergirl kind of threw me because at first, she asked to be Sleeping Beauty. Then, (fortunately before I bought her costume), she changed her mind and asked to be a butterfly fairy like Barbie Mariposa. So I found a cute fairy skirt at Wa!-Mart that has little twinkle lights on it that light up, a wand and tiara set, and face paint with pink glitter. Now I just need a long sleeved pink t-shirt and I'll be set on her costume. I'm trying to find an iron-on or custom t-shirt shop that could do a t-shirt with Barbie Mariposa on it. Any suggestions greatly appreciated. Wildman is going to be a skunk this year. I found the cutest costume at Old Navy - and y'all, if you haven't checked out Old Navy for kid's costumes, you totally should. They don't have much selection, and the sizes only go up to about 4 or 5 T, but the costumes are adorable! The skunk costume has white fur on the head and back and a big patch of white fur on the belly! And they are very reasonably priced, too. The skunk costume was $15. I've already spent more than that on Supergirl's butterfly fairy and it's not done! I am so excited about Halloween this year! (Actually, you can leave the "this year" off that sentence. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday.) The kids are going to look great, and we've been invited to two Halloween parties! I love that Halloween is on a Friday this year.