Believe it or not, that first list did not include any ex-boyfriends. So I got to thinking about those guys. The Ex List:
1. I broke your record. You weren't my last step before marriage. I came damn close to marrying the guy after you, but realized at almost the last minute that he wasn't the right one for me. I did marry the guy after him, though, so you were the next-to-last step before marriage.
2. I think you are probably gay. You may never admit it, but I think you probably are. I still wish you the best. We had a good time together.
3. You are one of the best stories from my dating history. I'm glad now that we didn't really date. Sorry I was such a dumb teeny-bopper back then. Now I would laugh at someone who didn't know what I didn't know then.
4. I heard a sad, pathetic story about what you had been up to several years back. I'm sure it was true because it had all of your hallmarks - expecting things to fall into your lap, not doing what you are assigned to do because you think it's beneath you, sending a woman to handle situations you are too embarrassed to handle yourself. I'm so glad I got away from you.
5. What was your DEAL? We only dated a couple weeks and you broke up with me. Then you hated me for years. And I tried really hard to be nice to you, because I didn't have any bad feelings towards you. What the fuck, dude?