News, this time posted within the week it happened!
I called my mother Sunday night. For the first time in seven years.
There were a lot of different catalysts for it. I'd been thinking about writing her a letter since before Christmas, but I never got around to it. I'd talked to a few friends and my dad about getting back in touch with her. Most seemed to think it was a good idea, but that I should be careful so that I don't get hurt again.
You know how sometimes an idea or a word keeps popping up, in lots of different contexts? I've had that going on lately about the idea of standing up for myself. And the main person I have always needed to stand up to was my mom. So I called her, and it went okay. It started off rocky, she started trying to argue with me and I kept blocking her and getting more frustrated and finally, when I was really feeling like the whole damn thing had been a huge mistake, I just asked her, "Look, what do you want? Do you want to be friends with me?" And she backed down and said yes, she did and that she was glad I called. She suggested that when she says something hurtful, I call her on it immediately and I said I would be willing to try that. After that, we had kind of a normal conversation, very stilted and awkward, of course, but not too bad. I gave her my phone number, so we'll see if she calls.