Monday, July 13, 2009

Litmus Tests

HA! HAHAHAHA! So Swistle linked to me (YOU KNOW which post!) and suddenly I had tons of new people reading and commenting. I have 50 comments on that one post, which is 25 (!) from other people and 25 from me. Which is the most I've ever had. On a post that, while I thought the situation was very funny, I didn't really want more than my usual handful of people to read. Oh naivete, how fun you were! So! Ah, welcome, to anyone who came for the p0rn and stayed for everything else. Should you, by some horrible chance, know me in real life, or have figured out who my father is, how about you just keep that fact to yourself, mmmkay? I have delusions of anonymity on this blog, so let's don't blow that, 'kay?
Let's move on to less embarrassing facts about my life, shall we?
Last week, I loaned my copy of The Usual Suspects to a work friend. Today, I came in and the movie was on my desk with a post-it note saying, "LOVED it. Thanks!" While I'm thrilled that she liked it, I'm also relieved. Because if she hadn't, it would have damaged our friendship. See, The Usual Suspects is one of my litmus tests for friends. If you hate The Usual Suspects, you and I probably cannot be friends. Another big test is Monty Python. If you hate Monty Python, I will think you are stupid. Not in a mean way; just in a "Oh, you don't get it" way. My ex-BFF hated Monty Python, and for years I couldn't figure out why that made me think less of her. Finally, Rock pointed out that she probably didn't get most of the Monty Python jokes, because she's really not that bright. Mean, yes, but also true. Mike Myer's Austin Powers movies are another one. Yes, there is a lot of juvenile, bathroom type humor in them, and if you can't at least loosen up and laugh a little, I will think you are a tightass. I'm not a crude person, by anyone's standards, but I think the Austin Powers movies are brilliant (esp. Goldmember). I will also hold it against you if you like the really cheesy and awful chick flicks. If Maid in Manhattan or Must Like Dogs is your all-time favorite movie, please do not sit beside me. Okay, this is starting to make me feel like a real asshole, so please tell me I'm not the only one. What are your dealbreakers for friends?

21 comments:

Astarte said...

Hoo boy. I love Usual Suspects, and not only because I'm in love with Kevin Spacey (who is, as usual, gay). I also love Austin Powers, as long as I'm in the mood. BUT, I hate Monty Python. I *think* I understood it all (I only say that because now you have me wondering), but Fawlty Towers is more my thing. It's mostly the constant bodily functions that annoy me, and gratuitous gushing blood.

I cannot be friends with anyone who reads closet bodice-ripper books. If I saw one of those sweaty-man-clutching-swooning-moron covers on anyone's table, I would be outta there.

My MIL reads those books, come to think of it, and *she's* stupid. so... there you go.

Jess said...

Maid in Manhattan cannot be anyone's favorite movie. It's not possible. It's one thing to think it's kind of a cute movie (although: NO), but all-time favorite? No, no, NO.

Shelly Overlook said...

I think Jess is right. Anyone who claims Maid in Manhattan is their favorite movie is just not human.

Love Usual Suspects (I'm also a Kevin Spacey fan) and Austin Powers, but I have to say that Monty Python isn't my thing. My parents watch and love but it just never trickled down to me. Which is weird b/c I'm such a British wannabe.

Gina said...

I love, LOVE stupid, silly humor, and Monty Python is one of my favorites - up there with Mel Brooks (OMG, History of the World) and - my very favorite - The Jerk. But I don't like Austin Powers at all. Austin Powers made me not like Mike Myers.

Shelly said...

Astarte - I'm going to ignore the fact that you said Kevin Spacey is gay, because I am totally in denial about that. (It is probably true, but I refuse to accept it.) And I can totally see your point about Monty Python. They are a bit on the gory side. I had forgotten that. See, I discovered Monty Python with my (male) cousin who is 9 months younger than I am, when we were about 11, and I remember just laughing at all the gore. So I still just think it's funny.

WORDY WORD WORD on the romance novels! That's another strike against my ex-BFF! She read those all the time in high school. (Actually, she still reads them all the time.) I read one or two, for the sex scenes of course, then got bored.

Shelly said...

Jess - that's awesome! I've never seen Maid in Manhattan, it just seems to embody all that I hate about those really stupid rom-coms. Glad to hear it's as bad as I thought!

Shelly said...

Shelly - well, two out of three ain't bad! I still love ya!

Shelly said...

Gina - OMG, Mel Brooks! LOVE History of the World. I've never seen The Jerk; I'll have to find it.

Pickles and Dimes said...

I loved Usual Suspects, but have to admit I just don't really care for Monty Python. I haven't really seen very much of it though, so...

My only deal-breaker is this: if you come to a baseball game with me, you better be there to watch the game and not talk about girly crap like Desperate Housewives or Sex & the City or something.

Also, if you like DMB. :)

Shelly said...

Shauna - Well, for Monty Python, I would recommend the old tv shows. I don't think the movies are as funny as what I remember watching with my cousin way back when. But maybe I remember it as being better than it really was. :)

Ooh, baseball. Not my thing, but I totally understand your point.

And don't bait my friends in the comments! ; )

Janssen said...

Must like Dogs is likely the worst romantic comedy I've ever seen. Gag.

Kathy said...

I have a two-part litmus test for friends: you must, must, must like (1) Calvin & Hobbes and (2) your choice of Star Trek, Harry Potter, or Jimmy Neutron.

Kathy said...

Also I've never seen "Usual Suspects" but I now I have to!

Alice said...

first off, AGREE HEARTILY with all your tests. LOVE usual suspects; LOVE kevin spacey; LOVE everything monty python; and while i like austin powers, i think my person austin is zoolander.

one of my tests is if you hate harry potter, especially because you just refuse to read it because you're above participating in fads. GET OVER YOURSELF AND READ IT ZOMG.

Gardenqueen said...

Great post. I recently came to the conclusion that people that have a sense of humor are smart. If you don't have one, it doesn't mean you're stupid, but if you get Monty Python you're definitely NOT dumb.

nicole said...

The Usual Suspects is definitely one of my favorites.

I can't be friends with someone who doesn't at least pretend to like to read. I love books (as you might know by my excessively long comment on one of your books lists) and I love talking about books and I want friends who will at least humor me in that department.

Shelly said...

Janssen - I'm glad to hear that! I haven't seen it either; I honestly just picked two rom-coms that I remember having REALLY awful previews. Glad to hear they really do suck!

Shelly said...

Kathy - I LOVE Calvin and Hobbes. My hubby and I quote them all the time. And I like the original Star Trek series. Do I pass?

And yes, get Usual Suspects. You will love it!

Shelly said...

Alice - I loved Zoolander, too.

I've never Harry Potter, and I don't really know why. SEVERAL people have recommended the series to me, including people like you, whose opinion I value. Maybe I'll pick it up soon.

Shelly said...

Gardenqueen - that's a better way of saying what I was trying to say in this post. Thank you! Yes, exactly, if you get Monty Python and Usual Suspects, and all the other stuff I like, then you are most certainly not dumb.

Shelly said...

Nicole - OMG, YES! If someone doesn't read at all, I will have very little to talk to them about. I basically don't watch tv, so books are my real outlet.

It took me FOREVER to find your comment! But I did. And it's great. I will respond to it, but you and I sound very much alike in how much we read and how passionate we are about books! Welcome! Please come back and visit soon!