Monday, March 26, 2007

Jumping into the fray

So about a year ago, when I first started thinking about writing a blog, there was a big debate on some blogs I read about living together versus marriage. And I thought about starting a blog and jumping right into the debate. So here I am! What? It's still a hot topic somewhere.

One of the main points argued in the debate was that couples who live together are not as committed as married couples. And for some folks I'm sure that's true. But it's equally true of some couples who get married. If it wasn't, our country's divorce rate would not be over 50 percent. So that's a false argument. Then of course some people argued that it was against God's will to live together and not be married. At which point, the debate turned in to a free-for-all insult fest.

So here are my thoughts on the subject: Do what you believe is right. If you are a religious person and believe that God wants you to marry, then marry. If you are not a religious person and believe that you and your partner are perfectly happy the way you are and don't need to change a thing, then don't. My opinion is that each couple needs to figure out what works best for them.

My personal experience is that either situation can be a stable and fulfilling relationship. R and I lived together for five years before we got married. S was three and I was pregnant with W when we finally got married. We've been married for almost a year now and virtually nothing has changed. I changed my name and could add him to my health insurance, but that's really it. I don't love him any more or less than the day I moved in with him.

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