Interview by BeckEye

I love these interviews! It's so cool to see what kinds of questions someone would ask you based only on your blog. These fine and exciting questions come from BeckEye.

1. I see that you have 2 children, Supergirl and Wildman. What exactly are their super-powers, and were they inherited or just a fluke of nature?

I know that you asked about superpowers, but first let me tell you that Supergirl has the best superhero disguise of all time. She looks like a little porcelain doll. Seriously, she's tiny, about 4 foot tall and maybe 40 pounds. Skinniest kid in the neighborhood. Long red hair, big green eyes, palest white skin I've ever seen. Looks as calm and nice and sweet as she can be. But! Under that clever disguise lurks superhuman energy and strength, ear-shattering shrieks, and unholy speed. She can beat up boys twice her age! She can run circles around the kitchen island for days! She can scream and laugh so loud that your head will explode! And unfortunately, I have to admit that she inherited all these super-powers from me. I was a holy terror as a child.

As for Wildman, his super-powers are superhuman strength and possessing way over the legal limit of charm. And being unreasonably good natured and cheerful. He's simply the happiest baby I've ever seen. His smile could melt steel. And he's strong as hell. Trying to get a toy or bottle away from him takes all my strength! As for inheritance or fluke, I don't know. Rumor has it that Rock was a little charmer as a baby, so he maybe Wildman got it from him. Sure as hell didn't get it from me.


2. In July, you took the family on a cross-country road trip. Tell us about that. Specifically, were you all whistling zippity doo-da out of your assholes by the end of it?

Ah, see now, I had refrained from discussing that aspect of the trip because as Swistle says, "it crossed the line from 'Haha, my husband is such a cheesehead' to 'I actually dislike him and this is a bad marriage'". The trip ranged from some of the coolest scenery I've ever seen and some of the best pictures I've ever taken to flying through Idaho in the middle of the fucking night, using gas station bathrooms (*shudder*); from days where I laughed and joked and knew that I had married the best friend I would ever have and the best man I'd ever meet to days where I thought ending my marriage made perfect sense. In short, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times". It was too long, our vehicle was too small, Supergirl was bored as hell and acted terrible at least half the time, but overall, it was a great trip and we saw some fabulous sights and did some super cool stuff.

(On a side note, I just figured out how to make a link (I hope). I'm so proud.)

3. Your only listed musical interest on your profile is “classic rock.” What, if any, contemporary artists do you like?

Ummm, contemporary. You mean songs recorded *since* the 70's, don't you?
Ooh, ooh wait - Anna Nalick - I like Anna Nalick. And while I don't like Maroon 5, I know who they are and what songs they sing. I like Franz Ferdinand, Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale (I only know one song by his band, but that boy is *smoking* hot.) Oh, and Cake, I like Cake (MMmmmm....cake). And I like a couple songs by the Killers.

4. Back in April, Confucius say you were going to win the Powerball jackpot. How did that work out for you?

Seems I misunderstood old Confucius. He meant a small windfall, not a huge windfall. We found out that day that we were getting a bigger tax refund than we expected. Nice, but a hell of a long way from a Powerball victory.

5. Finally, who is Keyser Söze?

God, that is just simply The. Best. Movie. Ever.

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."