Both Sides Now

Whew. Sorry for disappearing again. Things have been crazy around here. We've had the flu - not swine flu, I don't think, since it was very mild and only lasted a few days. But we passed it around the house, of course, and there's just not much more depressing than seeing sickness work its way through your children and knowing that you're next and there's just nothing you can do about it. But we lived through it, obviously. And Rock and I were locked in a fight for about a week or so and there were days, I swear, in which I didn't know who I liked less, him or me. And I wanted to change my life, my job, my friends, my family, I wanted to tear it all down with a wreaking ball. And I felt so envious of people around me. They were doing so much more than I was! They were going on trips! They were going back to school! And then. I read blogs. And Hot said, I don't know how other people do more than just work and come home and collapse. And Kalisa wrote a post about feeling unsatisfied and about appreciating the life she had. And I started to breathe a little easier. Because it wasn't just me. I wasn't going crazy, my life didn't suck. I hadn't screwed it all up and should scrap it all and start over. (No, I really didn't believe that one, either. But it kinda felt that way a time or two.) But somehow, it started to ease up. Hearing that other people felt the same way from time to time helped. And I don't know what it was and why I felt so unsatisfied. Or why it passed. But I'm so very grateful that it did. Focusing on my life and the things that were going right helped. Because there is a lot going right. Things at work are going well. Of course I can't tell you much, but I've had a few little successes and little successes are always very buoying. I've had a couple days off, too, which always help me get a little more perspective. And this weekend, I'm heading to Charlotte to get together with a couple girls I've been friends with since college, so that will be a good relaxing weekend. I've lost a little more weight, and I'm very nearly down to the next clothing size and that is making me feel great. I have some small goals on that front and I'm hitting them this time instead of just watching the time go by and wishing I was doing something. It makes me feel more in control of my life, and that's a big step.

Yesterday was my birthday and those of you who know me know that I am like a little kid about my birthday; I love it. I had a great weekend. One of my closest friends took me to the movies and we saw The Informant, which was awesome. I finally got The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. Here's the whole story on that. I had told Supergirl how much I liked that series and how excited I was about the new book and she didn't get the part about how it wasn't coming out here until next spring, so she REALLY wanted to get me that for my birthday. Well, Rock told me about that so when I found out that it could be ordered from Amazon.uk, we decided to make that happen. So then, of course, I ordered it, but then had to wait until my birthday to "get it" from her. Anyway, I spent about half the day yesterday reading it, have read the first four chapters and I already think it is fantastic.

So, life, crazy old roller coaster that it is, is on a upswing right now. One of my dearest friends just had a baby (two days before my birthday!), and things just keep getting better and better.