Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all ring in 2009 in the way you like best. We don't have any plans this year, so we will probably throw some steaks on the grill and open a bottle of wine. Low-key IS our style.

Christmas was great. The kids got everything they wanted and more. And the adults got lots of cool stuff, too. Rock and I bought ourselves a new tv, because the one we had was so old that we had to use a converter box in order to plug in a DVD player! I seriously think I bought it in college. So we replaced that.

And Rock and the kids gave me a gorgeous amber locket necklace that I have

barely taken off since I unwrapped it.

And I made a commitment to use the amount of money that my dad usually gives me for Christmas to send toys to needy children. And I spent every dime, plus a little more. Which made me feel really good.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope that all of your shopping and running around is done and that you can take some time and relax and spend time with your families. Today is the last day I'm working this week, so I'll have a little time to do last minute things and then relax before the big day. In honor of Christmas, and family, I thought I'd switch things up a bit and tell an old, sweet story today.

Rock and I dated casually for a year or so, then gradually got more and more serious, eventually deciding to move in together. One night, when we were still in the casual dating phase, he called me to tell me that there was a hurricane moving in that night. He wanted to make sure that I had a flashlight and batteries and enough food to get by if the power went out. (I was a 20-something year old female - my entire decorating scheme was candles. I assured him I was good on light.) He also wanted to make sure that I had thought to fill up my car with gas and get money from an ATM, because I wouldn't be able to do either if the power went out. We talked for a little while longer, then hung up. After I hung up the phone, I realized that he had told me he loved me. Not in words, I knew he wasn't ready for that step yet, but by his actions.

God bless us, every one.

Addresses

Jess, Hot and Mona, please send me your addresses!

And the Answers Are....

This game was so much fun. Thank you all for guessing. These must have been really hard, because NO ONE got more than one right! Four people got one right, but not all the same one, which amused me for some reason. The lies are bolded below and the winner of each round is listed.

Round One:
1. My husband was married twice before me.
2. I was fired from my first job (after college) for performance. (This is very nearly true. I was severely reprimanded and came damn close to being fired.)
3. I can play the piano.
Winner: Shelly Overlook

Round Two:
1. I started dance lessons when I was 3.
2. I worked for a US Congressman.
3. I was the valedictorian of my high school class. (Again, very nearly true. I was the salutatorian.)
Winner: Mona

Round Three:
1. I have a friend who is a transsexual.
2. I've had seven speeding tickets.
3. I've stayed friends with every guy with whom I've had a significant relationship. (Nowhere even close to the truth. I have never stayed friends with an ex, no matter what length the relationship.)
Winners: Hotfessional and Jess

Ladies, if you will email your address to me at sm_rl@hotmail.com, I will send you a little something.

Christmas Pictures - FAIL

Do my children have a radar that tells them when I want to have professional pictures of them taken? Last year, in late November, Supergirl fell off the back porch and skinned up her nose. On Monday, Wildman fell and split his lip on the metal seam between the carpet and linoleum in between the kitchen and living room. He's fine, but his lip looks like hell.

At lunch, we played that game where you tell three facts about yourself, two true and one lie and everyone else has to guess which one is the lie. We played three rounds, which is fucking brutal to come up with. So I decided that I would post all three rounds of my facts and let you all guess which ones are lies.

Round One:
1. My husband was married twice before me.
2. I was fired from my first job (after college) for performance.
3. I can play the piano.

Round Two:
1. I started dance lessons when I was 3.
2. I worked for a US Congressman.
3. I was the valedictorian of my high school class.

Round Three:
1. I have a friend who is a transsexual.
2. I've had seven speeding tickets.
3. I've stayed friends with every guy with whom I've had a significant relationship.

Post your guesses in the comments and I'll give the answers tomorrow.

Spying? Really?

Remember the other day when I said I had accepted a Facebook friend request from my former friend Heather's younger sister? Well, today I read this comment on Heather's blog (she was griping because she couldn't get in touch with her sister):
But damn if she can't exchange Facebook notes with my former best friend who I haven't spoken to in 5 years. (She friended the former best friend on a whim, just to see. The funny part is that my sister is basically acting as a spy. *eg* Not for me, for someone else. But it's funny.)
Yes, that would be my mother that the sister is spying for. My questions about this are two-fold:
1. How stupid do they think I am? I know exactly who this girl is. I know who she talks to. I know that any information I post or tell her will go straight back to my mother. Do they think I don't realize this?
2. What exactly do they expect to learn on Facebook? There is pathetically little information available to post. And I don't use the status thingy or post many pictures.
I'm seriously thinking about using the status thing to fuck with them. Like posting, "Shelly is amused" or "Shelly has exciting news" - then when she asks, be like, "I just saved money on my car insurance." What do you think? Am I being petty? I'm just annoyed that they think they are clever for "spying" on Facebook.

Okay, so New Moon

I will confess that I liked New Moon a lot better than Twilight. The biggest reason, however, is that the main "relationship" of the series (Bella and Edward) was on hold throughout most of the book. Edward breaks up with Bella about ten pages in, and then doesn't reappear until practically the end of the book. Which means that there was a distinct drop in the "oh, why won't Edward make me a vampire? i must not be interesting enough for him. yes, yes, he's so wonderful and i'm so plain, i can't imagine what he sees in me. oh, if only Edward would make me a vampire and we could be together forever. he must not want to be with me forever. which i can understand. who would want to be with me forever, i'm so clumsy and stupid and he's so brilliant and graceful and wonderful. and handsome, oh my, is he handsome. have i told you how handsome he is?" And (and I've heard others disparage this) Meyer substitutes blank pages for the months that Bella mopes around after Edward dumps her. I personally was grateful for that choice. Three months worth of whining would probably have made me quit reading the book. Also, there was considerably more dialog and less of Bella's thoughts in this one than the first one. Which is a dramatic improvement in my opinion. Like I said, I think Meyer has captured the voice of a teenage girl, however, that voice is REALLY annoying. And the action is better. It's more plausible and more interesting. The first one had one small action section that took place practically at the end of the book, and it was...just lame. Ridiculous even. New Moon has more action, so there's more showing than telling, and the action in New Moon makes a lot more sense. Characters do predictable things and react to situations in believable ways. The peripheral characters get more development in New Moon, which some of them desperately needed. (*cough* Bella's dad *cough*) So that's what I liked about New Moon.

Now, on to things I don't like about the series as a whole (based on the first two books):

• Bella and Edward's relationship. He treats her like an idiot. (Now, I'll grant you that she acts like an idiot most of the time, but still.) He acts like he knows what's best for her and either does it or makes her do it. He basically acts like he's her father. There is zero mutual respect with these two - it's all one sided.
• Bella's complete dependency on men - she mopes around for months after Edward dumps her and only perks back up when she starts hanging out with Jacob, another guy who likes her.
• Bella's constant talk about college as "Plan B". "Plan A", which Bella desperately wants, is to become a vampire and hang out with Edward. She doesn't want to look at colleges, apply to colleges, think about colleges. I hate to be one of those "BUT THINK OF THE CHILDREN" types, but this series was written for YA girls. What kind of example is Bella if she refuses to live her own life?
• Okay, I'll just say it - I really can't stand Bella. Everything around her isn't that bad, but she IS the main character. And I hate her. She's the worst heroine I've ever read. She has zero self-esteem, zero self-respect, zero initiative, zero independent thought. There is nothing that I respect or like about her.

With all that said, I will probably read the last two books. Just to see how bad this series can get.

Am Liar. And Hypocrite, Apparently.

After railing about the first one, I just borrowed the second Twilight book from a co-worker. And I plan to start it tonight.

Oh, shut up.

Short Attention Span Theater

I know "nobody cares what you had for lunch", but my lunch today involved a small mystery. We'll call it the Case of the Purloined Turkey.
For lunch yesterday, I went to the Fresh Market, bought a chef's salad and salad dressing and brought it back to work to eat. On the top of the salad were six rolls of meat and cheese - three ham and cheese, three turkey and cheese. I ate one of the ham and cheese rolls, tore up a turkey and cheese roll and a ham and cheese roll and sprinkled it on the salad. The salad was huge, so I ate about half put the other half in the refrigerator for today. I had eaten all of the ham and turkey and cheese that I had put on the salad, so when I finished, I had three rolls left - one ham, two turkey. I put them on the top of the remaining salad, closed up the container, and put it in the refrigerator. Today, when I got out my salad to eat it, there were only two rolls left, one ham and one turkey. There was also a small piece of lettuce caught in the seal tab on the salad container, which I'm fairly sure didn't happen when I closed up the salad after lunch yesterday. I noticed the fact that there was one less roll as soon as I opened the salad, but I really wanted salad for lunch today (a rare occurrence and not to be discouraged), and I decided that, given that the rest of the salad looked untouched, I would assume that someone had opened the salad container, taken a turkey and cheese roll, and closed the container back up and put it back in the refrigerator. I was a little shocked that someone had stolen part of my lunch. I mean, it was fairly common at the company I worked for previously, but I almost never bring lunch in, so I've never been a victim of having food stolen. And I really wouldn't have thought that my co-workers at this company would stoop to that level.

Although, as I ate my tampered-with salad, I remembered that when I first started here, we used to have a snack tray which would come up short of money every month. This was a tray of little crackers, brownies, gum, etc. that was placed in our office by a vending company - so it was the same kinds of snacks that you can buy in a vending machine. I don't know exactly why we had it as there was a snack machine on the first floor of our building, but whatever, it was there. It operated in the honor system. Each snack cost $.60 and there was a hole in the tray in which you deposited the money for the snack you took. I very rarely ate snacks from the snack tray, but when I did, I would put in a dollar, giving $.40 extra for my snack. I knew a few other people did this, too. However, every month, when the vending company came to pick it up, there was not enough money in the tray to cover the snacks that were gone. About six months after I started, our head honcho got fed up with paying the difference out of his pocket and told the vending company to take the snack tray out. So it's been gone for about three years now. Now, we're a small office, and we've turned over a great deal of our staff since the snack tray days. If we accept as a premise the fact that a person who steals snacks out of a tray that operates on the honor system might also steal a turkey and cheese roll out of an individual lunch in the 'fridge (not necessarily a foolproof assumption), that does narrow our list of suspects to about seven people. Of those seven, I know one of them did the same "pay a dollar for a $.60 treat" trick that I did. So she was not the snack tray thief. At the time, there was a lot of suspicion on one particular guy, but he's since left our office, so maybe he wasn't the snack tray thief after all. I do have one strong suspect from the snack tray days, whom I think would not be above stealing out of a lunch. But I just really don't like the guy, so maybe that's why I think it was him. If we reject the premise that a person who will steal out of a snack tray will steal out of a lunch, then we have the whole office as suspects. Only one person knew that that was my salad, and I really don't think he was culprit, so it couldn't have been personally directed at me.
So the question is - who moved my cheese?

Realization

This isn't what I planned to post today, but something just hit me. When I first broke contact with my mother, I was completely paranoid about her knowing any information about me or my life. I didn't want to know I was pregnant with Wildman (which was over a year after I stopped talking to her), didn't want her to know that we call him his middle name instead of his first name, etc. (She did find out that I was pregnant - my uncle and cousins visited from out of state and I told them. And I made sure word got back to her when he was born - I told her brother - I'm not totally heartless.) I didn't really examine why I felt that way, but looking back, I think it was fear. I didn't want her anywhere near me or anything of mine because she always took over. (Small example, when I was in college, Bath and Body Works Freesia was my "signature scent". When she wanted to pick out some Bath and Body Works stuff for herself, she immediately wanted to get Freesia. She wanted to hang out with my friends, she wanted to come to college and go to stuff with me, and on and on.)

Today I realized that I don't mind if my mother knows some things about my life. Recently, my former friend Heather's younger sister friended me on Facebook. I thought about for a day or so, then accepted the request. Yesterday, my oldest friend Amy, whose parents are very good friends with my mother, and with whom I had lost contact about 5 years ago, friended me on Facebook. I accepted the request, and I just finished writing her a very long, very detailed update on my life, my marriage, my job, and the kids.

I'm not ready to interact directly with my mother yet, but I don't feel as protective about my life anymore. Odd - growing up, I shared a lot with her. I felt sorry for her because she didn't have a love relationship anymore and had very few friends. I'm pretty generous by nature and I felt like I had so much and she had so little, so I tried to share. Then, when I got fed up, I shut her out of my life entirely. Now, I'm willing to let her in partway. I wonder where this will go.

Updates

I offered my husband anything he wanted in bed last night...

Why? Well, aside from his general wonderfulness, HE FIXED THE WASHING MACHINE yesterday. Yes, it had been broken since the end of August. Yes, it took Staber a month to send the new circuit board (Staber - awesome washing machines, crap support). But the glorious sound of clothes washing IN MY OWN HOME was such music to my ears I could barely stand it.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Happy Monday!

Weekend

Open letter to the other diners at Outback in Burlington on Sunday night:

Um yeah, so I owe y'all an apology. You were sitting there, peacefully enjoying your dinner, when my son made that god-awful retching sound. He was fine, he didn't even barf, that's just something he does occasionally, when he has too much food in his mouth. He makes this hideous ralphing sound, stops chewing and kinda looks like he's gonna puke his guts up, then settles down and starts chewing again. It's weird, it's gross, I freak out every time he does it, but he's always fine and he almost never barfs. And yeah, that was me laughing hysterically afterward. We were so embarrassed and I couldn't even look up from the table, but I could. not. stop. laughing. My child was fine, but I could just imagine what the rest of you were thinking. Had I not been at my own table, I probably would have had a hard time not puking myself. What's funny is that both children had been at the grandparents' house just before that, and had both already eaten, so we easily could have left them there and gone out to dinner by ourselves. (Guess what we'll do next time?)

Happy Birthday

My little Wildman turns two today! From this:

To this:

Happy Birthday, my little sweetie. I've posted his birth story before, but he was born by not-emergency-but pretty speedy c-section at about 10:00 at night. (Rock and I really couldn't remember last night. I think it was closer to 9:30, but he said it was around 10:45. I'll have to get out his birth certificate and check to see who's right.) He is a total sweetheart, but into everything. Cannot be left alone for a minute.

Also, a story from Supergirl. Yesterday, I wore my winter coat for the first time. I love it - it's a black and tan faux fur coat. I always refer to it as "the faux fur coat", which with my Southern accent, ends up sounding like "fofur". Heh. Here's a picture, although it looks better in reality:

(Photo credit to Bonanza Jellybean)

When I got home last night, I had the coat in my hand. Supergirl walks up, pets the coat, then starts rubbing her cheek against it, saying, "I love it!" Then she looks up at me and says, "Is it made of cat?"

Halloween Pictures

Wildman's initial reaction to the skunk costume:

Fortunately, we got him over that with the time-honored parental tradition of bribery with candy. Here he is, happy in his skunkness:

And Supergirl, happy as a butterfly fairy:

(Or maybe it's just the whoppers in her hand!)

Nah, she was really happy. She loved the face paint. And glitter. And wand. And the tiara. And the wings. Okay, you get the picture.

Have a great weekend, everyone. Today is Friday-For-Me!

Election Day

Please go vote today everyone. Vote for whomever you choose, for whatever reason. Just vote. Celebrate living in this country where we have the right, privilege and responsibility to vote. I voted this morning before work. At 7:15, I was one of a small handful of people at my local polling place. Fifteen minutes later, I had voted and was out the door and on the way to work. Just one of the advantages to living in BFE. Heh.

Halloween was great. We took the kids to Rock's dad and stepmother's subdivision and went trick-or-treating. We weren't out long, just up and down their street (it was getting cold and dark). We went back to their house and handed out candy to trick-or-treaters. Wildman really got into it, reaching in for candy at other people's houses and walking down the steps to give candy to other children. He got up close to some of the other kids, and tried to touch their costumes. The kid's costumes were great - Wildman was an adorable skunk and Supergirl's butterfly fairy costume turned out well. I wasn't able to iron on a picture of Barbie Mariposa, because I couldn't find one that would print out in color, but I got her some "fairy" face makeup with glitter and little stick-on "gems" and she was thrilled with that. I'll post pictures as soon as I can.

And thank you all, so very much, for your concern and prayers for my friend Danielle. I let her know that you were thinking of her. I really appreciate all your kind words and thoughts.

Friendship, Part Two

The situation with my friend Danielle has been resolved. She is home and recovering. They are having a small funeral service tomorrow for the baby. I'm going to drive up to VA tomorrow morning, attend the service, spend some time with her, and then drive home tomorrow night. It'll be about 6 hours of driving, but it's worth it to be there for my friend.

I've learned so much about friendship in the last few months. When I posted this, I was conflicted and felt like I had been a crappy friend most of my life. Since then, some college friends have come back into my life, Danielle and I have become closer friends, and I have strengthened some other, long-standing friendships. I feel like I've been given a second chance. I'm grateful, and I'm working on my friendships. I realized that part of the problem is that I took my friends for granted and assumed that they would always be there, always want to be friends with me. Now, I've realized that the best thing I can do is treat my friends the way I want to be treated. It was difficult to be there for Danielle throughout this because I live so far away. I felt like there was so little I could do. I sent her flowers while she was in the hospital and text messaged her every day to see how she was. If I lived closer, I would have visited her in the hospital, taken her magazines and food, looked after her son while the whole family was at the hospital, so much more than I could do from here. But she knew I cared, that I was concerned about her, that I was here for her. And that's what matters.

On a Lighter Note

God, could this blog get any more depressing?! Time for a break.

My co-workers are currently playing the song "Thriller". I walked out of my office and said, "Okay, show of hands - who actually owned the Thriller album?". One hand (other than my own) went up. I looked at the guy with his hand raised and said, "Album? Vinyl?" He lowered his hand and said, "Tape."

Oh my God, I work with children.

Into the Fray

I'm totally out of it today. I'm distracted by the situation with my friend Danielle, which is still going on. She's been in labor since Friday night, with no progress. They're going to give it until tomorrow and then try something more invasive. Which probably means abortion. Now, I'm going to out on a limb here and say something that may be controversial. I think the debate about abortion needs a fundamental overhaul. First, let me state for the record that I am, and always have been, firmly pro-choice. Abortion should be legal. But, like they say in Pulp Fiction, not 100% legal. I think that we need to separate abortions for medical reasons from abortions for choice. In cases where there is a problem with the pregnancy, or the mother, or the baby, abortion should be 100% legal. Doctors should be able to do everything in their power to save mothers and babies and to end pregnancies that cannot continue. Yes, the mother's life should come first, period. However, for cases that are purely choice, (ie, healthy mother, healthy baby, no medical problems), there should be a cut off point past which abortion is no longer an option. Five or six months is plenty of time to make up your mind about whether or not you want to have the baby. And if your situation changes, there is always adoption. There is no reason to end a baby's life as it is being born. At that point, adoption should be the primary option. And we need more services to place those babies in homes. The only non-offensive anti-abortion bumper sticker I've ever seen said, "Don't abort - I'll adopt". We need more people with that attitude. I think so much of this gets lost in the debate about abortion. And it's turned into such a black and white issue - it's either all abortions are 100% legal, or no abortions are legal. There's middle ground, and we need to work together to find it.

Sad Update

I just got a call from my friend Danielle. There is no amniotic fluid left. She's on her way to the hospital where they will induce labor to deliver a baby too early to survive.

I don't have words except to say that this situation could not suck any worse.

As Tears Go By

Oh, I have so much to update you all on. Every day this week, I've had a post in my head, but haven't had time to write it up. First and foremost, thank you all for the birthday wishes! You're all so sweet and lovely. And presents! There were book presents (lots)(I'll post a picture soon!), and Internet presents! Hotfessional gave me the One Sweet Blog Award, which was awesome of her. I will pass that one along to Shelly Overlook and Jess Loolu, because not only are their blogs fantastic, but their comments on other people's blogs are always thoughtful, insightful, and caring. And I won a book contest at Jess Riley's blog! Yay! Another book to look forward to!

Birthday weekend recap: I had Friday off work, so we rented movies, played with the kids, and bummed around the house in our pajamas all day. A great relaxing, no-stress day. We also planned a little cookout for ourselves, Rock's mom and stepdad and my dad and stepmom. I wanted to have the cookout on Sunday, so that Saturday could be low-stress, too, but my dad and stepmom had a scheduling conflict with Sunday, so the cookout had to be on Saturday. Which meant that Rock's mother would be at work until time for it to start, so I would have to make the side dishes and get everything ready. No big deal, right? Well, that's what I thought, until Saturday turned out to be one of those "AntiMidas" days. Y'know, when you have the opposite of the Midas touch? Instead of gold, everything I touched turned to shit. The second I stepped into the shower, my dad called. Someone knocked on our door when we were all fresh from showers and baths and not dressed. (It turned out to be the mailperson.) Then we started cooking. We had only two things to make, baked beans and a taco dip with refried beans, sour cream and cheese. Simplicity, right? Well, I hadn't bought refried beans while we were at the grocery store because I was sure that we had some at home. WRONG! No refried beans. We decided to make the dip anyway, replacing the beans with ground beef, and pressed on. Rock browned some ground beef to use in both the dip and the baked beans, and I mixed up the other dip ingredients and tried to open the can of beans to pour them in the baking dish. Except our damn can opener hates me, so it just wouldn't work. I punched about five holes in the top of the can before I gave up and asked Rock to do it. (He griped about what a mess I had made of the can top before I gave up. Guess who's buying a new can opener this weekend?) We got the baked beans ready and into the oven, the beef was ready to spread in the pan as the bottom layer of the dip, and then! Rock discovered that I had forgotten to wash out ANY of the bowls or baking dishes we were using (baked beans in one, beef dumped in one to spread, mixing bowl with sour cream in it to mix for dip). Which would ordinarily be a small problem - our cabinets are clean, right? Except that not too long ago, our Fire King mixing bowl had broken IN THE CABINET! (Remember that post? The bowl randomly broke one Sunday morning?) Yeah, so there were pieces of glass in the baking dish. Rock completely freaked. I started crying. Finally, we pulled it together and scraped the beef out of the baking dish, leaving a small layer, which we discarded, and then washed it thoroughly. We did the same with the mixing bowl, and looked through the bottom of the baking dish the beans were in and didn't see any glass (and said a small prayer). (You totally want to come to my house for dinner, don't you? Come on in, we're having beans and glass! It's a delicacy.) Fortunately, the rest of the cooking passed without incident. (Really, what else was there to go wrong at that point? I would have had to cut off my hand with the electric mixer for things to get worse.) We got the food organized, the kids ready, and loaded up our Ford Excursion to go down to the in-laws house, which is literally one minute down our driveway. So I didn't put Wildman in his carseat. I just set him on the back seat. (Now I'm not sure what I was thinking, because this is the child who opened the car door and almost fell out when I was driving him from the middle of our driveway up to our parking area-about 200 feet or so. I had to lock the doors to keep him in my little Civic!) Then, once we got to the in-laws', I opened the back door without looking in the window to see where he was. He was leaning against the door, of course, and so he slid out and slid down the side of the SUV and onto the ground before I could catch him. Talk about wanting to die! Is there any feeling worse than accidentally allowing your child to get hurt? Didn't think so. I can still see him sliding down the side of that car if I close my eyes. (Why yes, I will accept the Worst Mother of the Year award now, thank you.) Thank God, he was completely fine, and the rest of Saturday passed without incident. (Again, there wasn't much more that COULD go wrong.) I have never been so glad to see my birthday end as I was this year. Sunday was complete bliss though. We slept late, made omelets for breakfast, and then headed to the other grandparents' house to drop off the kids. Then, we went to Barnes and Noble, had coffee and book shopped for a couple hours. It was fabulous. I got some great books that I am really looking forward to reading - "Hardly Knew Her" by Laura Lippman, "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" by Steig Larson, "Mr. White's Confession" by Robert Clark, "The Broken Shore" by Peter Temple, "Slam" by Nick Hornby, "Shopgirl" by Steve Martin, "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand, and "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" by Junot Diaz. Then, we picked up the kids and went out to dinner at our favorite local Mexican restaurant. So the weekend ended well.

Yesterday, though, one of my closest friends called me. She's 17 weeks pregnant with her second child, a much longed for and awaited event. They tried for close to a year before she got pregnant. Yesterday, she started leaking amniotic fluid. It's way too early for that. If it doesn't stop (and soon!), she will either go into labor, or have to terminate the pregnancy. The baby will not be viable at this point. I cried with her on the phone last night. Then I called my dad and asked him and his four churches (he's a minister) to pray for her. So please, keep my friend Danielle in your thoughts.

Happy Day

Tomorrow I'm off work...because....Saturday is my birthday! Yay! I'm still like little kid - I love my birthday. It helps that I am totally happy with my age. I don't have any problem with the fact that I'll be 32 on Saturday. I had told Rock that I wanted the new dvd of LA Confidential for my birthday present a few weeks ago. Well, last weekend, he says, "I have no idea what to get you for your birthday. So I think I'll take you to Barnes and Noble for a small shopping spree." Bwhahaha!!!! So after I sleep in tomorrow, that's where we'll be headed.

Have a great weekend everyone!

And One More Thing...

On the subject of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you wear contacts, Bausch and Lomb is donating a dollar for every bottle of contact solution sold. The boxes have a pink panel on the top. I think you have to go to www.bausch.com and enter a code from the box, but I haven't done it yet. I bought two bottles over the weekend, so I'll let y'all know when I complete the process to get them to donate.

Happy Tuesday!

Odds and Ends

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! This is a disease that is near and dear to my heart, because my great-aunt died of breast cancer. So I always try to help get the word out about October. As she did last year, my good friend Hotfessional has an awesome contest up! Jump over to her site and sign up. I really admire Hot for this contest. She's an awesome lady and this contest just demonstrates why. Love ya, Hot!

I haven't been posting much, and for a weird reason. I haven't been wasting nearly as much time at work. I've discovered a new Energy packet that you can add at Starbuck's - it's all natural guarana, B complex vitamins, and ginseng. I get it added to my coffee every morning. And I feel so much better! I'm not groggy and lethargic anymore. I actually accomplish things at work and at home and that makes me want to do more. So I kind of apologize for neglecting my blog. But I kind of don't.

I've figured out the kids' Halloween costumes! Supergirl kind of threw me because at first, she asked to be Sleeping Beauty. Then, (fortunately before I bought her costume), she changed her mind and asked to be a butterfly fairy like Barbie Mariposa. So I found a cute fairy skirt at Wa!-Mart that has little twinkle lights on it that light up, a wand and tiara set, and face paint with pink glitter. Now I just need a long sleeved pink t-shirt and I'll be set on her costume. I'm trying to find an iron-on or custom t-shirt shop that could do a t-shirt with Barbie Mariposa on it. Any suggestions greatly appreciated. Wildman is going to be a skunk this year. I found the cutest costume at Old Navy - and y'all, if you haven't checked out Old Navy for kid's costumes, you totally should. They don't have much selection, and the sizes only go up to about 4 or 5 T, but the costumes are adorable! The skunk costume has white fur on the head and back and a big patch of white fur on the belly! And they are very reasonably priced, too. The skunk costume was $15. I've already spent more than that on Supergirl's butterfly fairy and it's not done! I am so excited about Halloween this year! (Actually, you can leave the "this year" off that sentence. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday.) The kids are going to look great, and we've been invited to two Halloween parties! I love that Halloween is on a Friday this year.

Pssst.....

Go here to win a free handbag! There are some very cute ones and you can select which one you want to be registered to win. Pick any one you want, but if you pick the giraffe print, you will lose to me! Just saying....

Twilight

I know that everyone was waiting for me to weigh in on the whole Twilight craze. (/end sarcasm) But I did read the first book over the weekend. And....I was underwhelmed. WAY underwhelmed. I will give Stephenie Meyers credit - I think she did an excellent job of capturing the voice of a high school girl. However, the voice of a high school girl is REALLY FREAKING ANNOYING. (Yes, I know it's aimed at young adults, but this would have annoyed me even as a high schooler.) There are also tons of grammatical errors. Seriously, where were her editors? Does anything get edited anymore? I cannot believe all the grammatical errors I see in books these days. And I'm certainly not an expert, but sometimes they jump off the page. So I'm going to come down on Jonniker's side of this one, except instead of a second grader, I think it reads like a high school freshman wrote it. The repetitive descriptions! The ability to make a mountain out of EVERY molehill! And it contains EVERY SINGLE cliche of vampire fanfic. Oh! And if it's going to be a mystery that Edward is a vampire, it might not be the best idea to put that fact ON THE BACK COVER of the novel. It takes about 10 chapters for Bella to figure out that Edward is a vampire, there's build-up and intrigue and everything! And all the while, I'm going, "DUH! He's a vampire! I READ THE BACK OF THE BOOK!" It's long, and (and I don't usually say this) boring. By the end, I was torn between dreading picking it up and wanting to finish it so that I could read something better. I wouldn't say it was completely awful, but I don't think I'll read the rest of the series. The preview of the second book annoyed the hell out of me, and I really can't imagine reading through an entire (very long) book of that, much less three more (very long) books. Do check out this hilarious drinking game based on the series, though, it's priceless.

Blog Post of Love

To Jess and Torsten! To their happiness!



Seriously, if you are not familiar with Jess' blog, go read it. She's a fabulous, thoughtful girl who loves purple. And Torsten sounds like a wonderful guy. They are an adorable couple and they are very happy and in love. Their wedding is a little less than two months away and they are so calm and prepared, it's awesome. I cannot wait to see the wedding pictures. They are lovely people and I wish them all the happiness in the world.

Brief Updates

Our office is moving tomorrow, so work is insane right now. But instead of packing my office, I'm going to write a blog post! WHEE!

• Supergirl's birthday was last Saturday. She's officially six now. How on earth do I have a six year old?
• In the new office space, I have a (slightly) bigger office...WITH A WINDOW! *moving on up...to the sky* The office is still pretty small, there's a big, square column that sticks out from the wall, and the view from the window is of the parking lot, but hey! I'm excited.
• I'm waiting for an office meeting to start. They're scheduled for 5:15 now because New Boss can't get his shit together to start the meeting at 5:00. Heh.
• Washing machine is still broken. Casualty of this weekend's visit to the laundromat? A pair of pajama pants have white spots from detergent or bleach or something. But since it's just a pair of pajama pants, I won't say anything.
• We also discovered that the answering machine got fried by the lightning. That's the second answering machine we've lost that way. (That whole lightning never strikes twice? Bullshit.)
• After I griped about my MIL and Rock made the comment that we may wait until next month to fix the washer because of some other bills, she gave us some money to fix our washing machine. I take back the mean things I said.

How's your week going?

Hey Nineteen, That's 'Reatha Franklin

Two of my co-workers and I had an interesting conversation this morning. They were trying to remember what year the Columbine school shooting happened. (It was April of 1999.) That was the year I graduated college. It was the year one co-worker graduated high school. For the other co-worker (admittedly, the youngest in the office), that was seventh grade. (I KNOW, RIGHT?!) But what was interesting was that the girl who was in seventh grade when it happened told us how it had impacted her high school experience. She said the kids made lists of who was likely to shoot people and who was likely to be shot. She said they were often afraid. It was really eye-opening to me, because I was well out of high school when that happened and I was never once afraid to be at school. What a horrible feeling that must be.

Gonna Have to Face it, You're Addicted to Love

Okay, so I was a little stabby yesterday. Thanks for letting me get that out. (And for saying that my requests were reasonable.) Today, I'm stealing a meme from Hotfessional.
List five addictions then tag two people.
1. Root beer - I go through phases with soft drinks. Right now, I am completely addicted to root beer. Rock and I both are, actually. We scavenge Wa!-Mart and the grocery store for six packs of the IBC bottles.
2. Fresh Market - I bought pre-made chicken kebabs there for Supergirl's party. I also go there for lunch frequently. Their sandwiches are great. And they sell individual bottles of IBC root beer cold. It freaks my co-workers out when I sit in my office and drink root beer. They think it's beer at first.
3. My Crest electric toothbrush - I got it free at my dentist's office and I love it. It really gets to my back teeth.
4. OPI nail polish - Favorite color - Bogota Blackberry
5. Burt's Bees products - I know that's cheating, but I use too many to list individually. There's the lip gloss, two kinds of body wash, baby wash, almond milk hand lotion, and the hand salve. That's more than five right there!
And I'll tag Shauna and Alice, because I would like to hear their answers.

Rant

Okay, I don't usually do this, but here are some things I want to say today:

To my beloved husband, who doesn't want to fix the washing machine: (Backstory - our house was struck by lightning two weeks ago. The washing machine was running, so it drew the lightning to it and was fried. We called the company and they said it's either the electric motor or the control panel. They can send us both parts and we can fix it ourselves. Rock will be able to fix it himself. However, he went to the laundromat yesterday while I was at work and when I got home, said, "You know, doing laundry at the laundromat is less expensive than fixing the washer. We could just keep doing that.")
I thought that was a bad idea when you suggested it, but now I have proof. There is a small (but noticeable) hole in the sleeve of my sweater today. The sweater I bought LAST WEEK and washed at your mother's house on Sunday. Our washing machine would not have torn my sweater. You introduced me to the luxury of a Staber washing machine and now I am accustomed to it. (It has a metal inner tub that revolves instead of a wringer in the middle that wraps your clothes around it.) It is MUCH, MUCH gentler on my nice clothes that I wear to work than regular washing machines are. Last week, at the laundromat, one of my button down shirts was ruined because some jackass had used bleach on the last load of clothes. It was an old shirt, and I needed to replace it anyway, so I didn't say much when it was ruined. But this is TWO articles of clothing that have been damaged by inferior washing machines and I am running VERY LOW on patience with this situation. I DO NOT have a large enough wardrobe to ruin an article of clothing every week. PLEASE FIX OUR WASHING MACHINE WITHOUT ME HAVING TO YELL AT YOU.

To my MIL:
Please appreciate the house you live in. My husband built it, with minimal help from the rest of us. It is far, far nicer than anything you could have afforded to have built for you by anyone else. It is far, far nicer than the house I live in. You lived rent-free in my house for two years while we built it. You now live rent-free in YOUR house, because we pay your mortgage. I don't ask for much, but your lack of gratitude astounds me.

Parties and Politics, Oh My!

Well, as usual, my resolve to post more frequently lasted exactly one week! Yaaay. Last week was pretty hectic, though. We had Supergirl's birthday party on Sunday, so I spent most of last week preparing for that. She will be 6 this Saturday. We had the party a week early because some out-of-town friends were visiting. It was a great party, we grilled steaks and chicken kebabs for the adults and hot dogs for the kids. And of course there was cake and homemade ice cream for dessert. The only problem was the weather. We always have the party on my in-law's porch, and yesterday was the hottest day in about a month. We were all hot and some of the kids complained. So we moved inside to eat cake and ice cream, then hung out in their living room and kitchen from then on.

Also, I stayed up late last Wednesday night to hear Sarah Palin's speech at the RNC. Before anyone jumps to conclusions, I have not decided who I will vote for in this election. But I wanted to hear Palin speak for herself, before all the pundits and talking heads got hold of her speech. I liked her, and I very much like the idea of a female vice president. I was very disappointed that Obama did not ask Hillary Clinton to be his running mate. That would have swayed me a great deal, I think. There are lots of things that I disagree with McCain and Palin about, but there are also lots of things that I disagree with Obama about. I'm a registered Independent, and I always will be. I've voted for Democrats and I've voted for Republicans. The few short months that I worked in politics, I worked for a Democrat. The party affiliation had nothing to do with my decision to leave that job. (The soul-sucking mean-spiritedness of my co-workers did, on the other hand.) And I never, ever voted for Bush. Not even the first time. I have to say, though, that the Republicans have a secret weapon - Piper Palin. She's the youngest daughter in the Palin family. At one point during Palin's speech, the camera focused on Piper holding her little brother and she proceeded to lick her hand and smooth down his hair. I just about fell off the couch laughing. That is totally something Supergirl would do on national television - lick her hand and smooth down Wildman's hair. That's class, y'all.

Chance Encounter

Oh My God, y'all, I am having the BEST day. This morning, I had a one on one call with my direct supervisor, who told me that I am making a really good impression on New Boss. That was something I was worried about and I've been really trying to impress him. But apparently, he called my supervisor to tell her how well I am doing and that he's impressed with me! I told her that made my day, but it turns out I was lying. Because what happened at lunch tops that.
I went to a mall food court with some co-workers. As we were leaving, we walked past a table with two women and three little kids. I looked over and thought, "That lady looks like Nancy Smith.*" When I was a freshman in college, I made friends with the most awesome group of girls. Two sets of roommates, another girl who lived across the hall, and me. We all became as close as sisters. The next year, one of the girls transferred to another school. But the girl across the hall moved in with me, and the rest of us stayed really tight friends. I can't really tell you how important those girls were to my life. They absolutely brought me out of shell and undid some of the damage my mother had done to my self-esteem. They were the best group of friends anyone could ask for. They were exactly what I needed. After sophomore year, though, we all went our separate ways. One girl was getting married, my roommate moved home to her parents and commuted to school, and I don't know where the others went. I haven't seen any of them in over ten years. Nancy Smith was one of those girls. So I debated going over and asking if that was her. I decided not to, because I was sure I would be wrong. But then, I thought, "This is a total chance encounter. If it IS her, I may never run into her again." So I went over to the table, and said, "Excuse me, are you Nancy Smith?" She looked up and said, "Yes." Then she looked at me for a minute and said, "Shelly?" and when I said yes, she jumped up and hugged me. She asked how I recognized her and I told her that her face hasn't changed a bit. I guess mine hasn't either, since she recognized me. She turned around and told her friend that we went to college together and her friend laughed and said she knew it had to be something like that when she heard the maiden name. Two of the little kids were Nancy's, two beautiful little boys. I showed her pictures of my two and she said how cute they were. She's still in touch with two of the other girls in our group and she's on Facebook. We talked for a few more minutes, and then I left. What an amazing coincidence to run into her at the mall. I am so happy to be back in touch with her. If I could pick any people in my life to get back in touch with, it would be that group of girls. And now I think it's going to happen. I could not be any happier.
* Not her real name.

Get Out of My Dreams

Everyone seems to be writing really emotional posts this week. I caught up on my blog reading this morning and almost every blog I visited had me in tears! What's funny is that I started this post yesterday. There must be something in the water!

I would like to cordially invite author Emily Giffin to get out of my head. Or at least stop mining my life for tidbits to put in her books. It's never the main point of the story, but in each of her four books, there's been something that hit a nerve with me. In her first and second books, Something Borrowed and Something Blue, it was the character of Darcy that made me realize that in some ways I have been a selfish brat and not the best friend I could be. (See this post.) Then, in her last book Love the One You're With, the main character is a professional photographer, which is totally my dream job. The character talks about being afraid to to go for a career in photography because she was afraid that she'd suck at something she loves so much. That is totally where I am right now about photography. I adore it, feel like I have a little bit of talent at it, but am almost paralysed by the fear that if I quit my job to go back to school for photography, what I will find out is that I'm nowhere near good enough to make that a career. And in the third book, Babyproof, it was an aside when the main character was thinking about cutting her mother out of her life. The character expressed that she thought that breaking off contact with a parent marked both the mother and the daughter. It marked the mother as being unbearable, but it marked the daughter as "being hard, unforgiving, and self-righteous". That quote hit me like a ton of bricks. I have certainly never wanted to think of myself as "hard, unforgiving and self-righteous", but am I? In thinking about it, I've realized that I'm still very angry with my mother for things that she did when I was a kid. I'm FURIOUS with my mother for manipulating me and putting me down when I was too young to realize what she was doing. I'm FURIOUS with my mother for the fact that I'm still hamstrung by insecurity and self-doubt from years of being treated as dismissible. I'm FURIOUS with my mother that I still, in the back of my head, don't really feel worthy of love. So, why haven't I forgiven my mother for all this? Because it's never been honestly addressed. Oh, I've addressed it. Time and time and time again. Yelling, screaming, crying, even bending over backwards to try to please her - I tried everything I could think of. But she has never once addressed it. Her responses have been, "Oh, you're SO sensitive, I can't say anything to you. I have to walk on eggshells around you." "Well, whatever I did, I'm sorry." (said in a really snotty tone of voice). Since what I want is to taken seriously and to have my feelings addressed and to have an actual, honest apology, no, I haven't forgiven her. I guess that does make me hard and unforgiving. Hmm. As for self-righteous, well, I guess it takes an element of self-righteousness to keep this up. To keep believing that you're right and the other person is wrong. And I would add that I really don't want her around my children. I feel very strongly that it is my duty to protect them from people and situations that I know to be dangerous. My mother inflicted more harm on me than anyone else in my life. I definitely consider her dangerous. So I don't want her around my kids. That probably qualifies as self-righteous. It's certainly a justification for what I'm doing. So there you have it, kids. I am "hard, unforgiving, and self-righteous". Yuck.

Happy Monday

I'm back and better than ever!

Finally, the whole family is healthy and has been for more than a week. I feel happy and somewhat motivated. My goal is to post here more than once this week. I've had some ideas percolating, so hopefully some of them will make their way out of my head and onto the screen. To start off, here are some gratuitous pics of my kids!

Wildman was backing up as he was eating and fell into this Pampers box that he and Supergirl play with. At first he was upset, but once I got the camera and started making faces at him, the little ham started grinning.

Last Saturday, I thought Supergirl looked particularly cute (you know, hair freshly washed and brushed, cute shirt, etc.), so I had her sit in our recliner and I took a whole roll of film of just her. She LOVES posing, so it made her feel really special to have my undivided attention like that.

And another one, just because it shows off those snaggly little teeth! I love this stage, where she's losing her baby teeth and getting permanent teeth.

Pay It Forward Prizes

I received TWO wonderful gifties from PiF contests, cause I is a lucky bitch. I have been slack about posting pictures, but now I can show them both off at the same time!

First, from Alice, I received:

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, a good book that I really enjoyed.

A cute chick candle.

A little bag with a bird and flowers on it for Supergirl.

And two Peter Rabbit notepads, one of which is a shopping list magnetic notepad, which I LOVE!

Then, from Shelly Overlook, I received:

A supercute polka dotted photo album.

A days of the week to-do list - colorful and functional - I will be taking that to work.

A Hello Kitty tote bag, which was probably intended for Supergirl but is MINE ALL MINE!

A blue bookmark with a great quote on it.

A package of really pretty note cards.

A big magnet with a daisy on it, which looks great on my fridge.

A pair of silver hoop earrings, which I love.

Organic blueberry snacks for the kids.

A Burt's Bees lip gloss.

A little bag with three squishy balls for the kids.

And yes, that means that I need to hold another Pay It Forward contest! Which will be coming next week, because I am morally obligated to mail out Shauna's prize from the first contest before I start another one. Shauna, I have not forgotten you - your prize will go out tomorrow, I promise!

Rumors of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Fortunately, Rock was wrong about Supergirl having chicken pox. When he called me, this was his description, "She has red spots all over her face. And one great big one right beside her nose. What else can it be?" (Although when I asked, he did say that she wasn't itching at all. So I was suspicious.) When I got home, however, Supergirl had one - ONE- red spot on her nose. NO other red spots in sight. None on her face, none on her body. OH HAI - my husband exaggerates when he's stressed out. While I don't know what the red spot on her nose IS - if it were on her lip, I would say it's a fever blister, but it's on her nose, right on the side of the nostril. It's red, but not raised. Very weird. I am fairly sure that it's not a chicken pock (chicken pox? What is the singular of pox?) It doesn't look anything like mine did, and here's the big one - IT DOESN'T ITCH! I'm just glad to have dodged that bullet.

Since it seems like everything I go ahead and post even when I'm not 100% certain turns out to be false, let's try this one - I did not win the lottery last night. Ha! Actually, that one's impossible. I didn't even play the lottery last night, so there's no way I could win. STILL - IT IS WORTH A TRY.

And since no one got the movie quote, I'll tell you - it was from Steel Magnolias one of my all-time favorites. Dolly Parton's character says it about her son's new girlfriend.

News and Stuff

So, I know that I've been scarce lately. And I apologize. The kids and I have been sick non-stop since the beginning of July. Wildman has had back to back ear infections, I had a double ear infection, Supergirl had a bad cold then a stomach bug, then Wildman caught the stomach bug and then I caught the stomach bug. I had thought this week that we were finally all healthy and maybe out of the woods on being sick for a while. But Rock just called and told me that Supergirl has chicken pox.
You'll find me under my desk.

However, I found the Brangelina Twins' edition of People to be a treasure trove of interesting tidbits! Worth sharing:

This quote from Pam Anderson - "I'm reading On the Road by Jack Kerouac. I love him - I can't get enough. And Edith Warton. I carry her with me to read her short stories on the plane. I'm reading all the time, which is great because my kids are 10 and 12, and they're big readers, too. I think it's through example." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Right, Pam. Tell you what, I'll spot you your reading example as long as you also recognize your example when your sons (I think her kids are boys, aren't they?) each bring home a stripper with fake tits and "the only nice thing you can think of to say about her is that all her tattoos are spelled correctly". (Bonus points if you can name the movie!)

Apparently, Bobby Brown is singing country music now. The hell?!

There was ANOTHER article about a man murdering his wife. Oh, excuse me - she's just missing in St. Maarten. The police aren't even sure a crime has been committed, but here's what the hubby has to say, "I did not kill her, I did not have anything to do with her disappearance. I am a victim here, too." Uh-huh. (Side note - he's the owner of a "medical animation" business. WHAT is medical animation? I can't think of two words that go together less.) Okay men, stop murdering your wives! Divorce! Live it, love it, embrace it. Rock and I have a pact - if either of us starts seriously thinking about murdering the other, we will ask for a divorce. Which will be immediately granted. "I want a divorce." "But WHY?" "Because I'm thinking about killing you. I have a plan." "Divorce granted! You can have the kids, the house, whatever you want, baby. I'll be out by the end of the week."

Lauryn Hill - This story made me very sad. She's living in the suburbs with her mom, raising five kids. Rohan Marley, who says that he is "spiritually together" with Hill and who fathered the five children, lists himself as "single" on MySpace. Oh Lauryn. Anybody who lists himself as single anywhere and doesn't live with you and his five kids is most definitely not with you. She deserves so much better.

Contest Announcement!

Well, the contest ended Monday and the winner was...

Shauna of Pickles and Dimes!

Congratulations, Shauna! I will be mailing you a fabulous prize soon!

Friendship

Friendship - the one area of my life in which I really struggle. In jobs/ career/ work type stuff, I'm almost always successful. I'm smart, hardworking, and pretty good with people. I can get most any job I apply for and do well at most anything I decide to do. I'm a good wife - I have a happy marriage. I'm a good mother. My children know, above all, how much I love them. That's always been the most important thing to me. The rest is details.

But friendships. I haven't done very well at all with friendships. Let's examine the evidence. My earliest and longest friendship was with Heather. She and I became friends in kindergarten and stayed friends until about 5 years ago. Our whole families became friends, particularly our mothers. In fact, our mothers' involvement really clouded our friendship. Due to our mothers' participation, I was dubbed "the bad girl" and Heather was "the good girl". I think really just because I was the more boisterous, louder of the two. Heather was more inclined to sit quietly with a book. However, the label stuck. Throughout my life, Heather felt it was her job to tell me what to do, how to behave, that I was doing things wrong. Left to my own devices, I would stray from "the right path", so Heather and my mother banded together to correct me, guide me, manipulate me even, in order to make me do as they saw fit. My mother constantly compared me unfavorably to Heather. (Yep - I'm an only child and I wasn't my mother's favorite. How sad is that?) Yet, if you asked Heather about our friendship, she would say that I was a spoiled little princess who always had to have my way. She says that I'm stubborn and opinionated and think that I'm perfect. She would tell you about all the times when we were in middle school and I would get mad at her "for no reason" and stop talking to her. She calls this controlling behavior. I had always dismissed the "spoiled little princess" part, because I just couldn't see it. I didn't think I was giving myself a break - god knows my childhood was not sunshine and roses. But I recently read a book that was a real eye-opener. It was a total chick-lit book called Something Borrowed. But as soon as I started reading it, I realized, "Heather would totally think I was just like the Darcy character." Not quite as bad as the Darcy character, given that I never stole a boyfriend from Heather, but I could see some similarities between myself and the selfish, entitled best friend character. I was raised the only child of an older couple who desperately wanted children. Yes, I was a little spoiled. Yes, I was used to being offered the best of things. I can see that now. But at the same time, my mother was constantly tearing me down. Things that I tried to achieve, she would tell me she didn't think I could do it. (Later, she would say that she was using reverse psychology on me.) I eventually learned to hide the things that mattered the most to me. And to hide my feelings. All those times Heather thought I was mad "for no reason"? Nope, I was hurt. But I was too scared to let that show. So I just shut down. Anytime I did bring up my feelings to either one of them, I was dismissed. That wasn't what they meant, they were just kidding, oh who cares? Nothing I said ever made them take me seriously. They never cared if what they said or did hurt my feelings. Eventually, I gave up. I realized that I needed to live my own life, without my mother or Heather telling me how to live.
But the pattern of behavior was set. And I carried it into other friendships. I get my feelings hurt too easily. And I shut down. I have a hard time telling someone that they hurt my feelings. I have a hard time telling a friend that they've made me angry. But I'm trying. Some friendships have survived it, like my friendship with Kelly, my closest friend from college. And I know that friendships end. People grow apart. Another friend really didn't like Rock and didn't like the direction in which my life was going, so we grew apart. I stopped sharing good news with her, because she wasn't happy for me. Eventually, we completely stopped talking. But it feels childish to get mad and stop talking to someone over something petty. So I'm not doing that anymore. Week before last, I reconnected with a friend to whom I had done just that. And I started by apologizing. We met last week for gelato and talked for an hour or so. And I felt like I was holding something precious in my hand, something fragile. Friendship, repaired.

Monday Morning You Sure Look Fine

Wow, you guys are awesome! Welcome to all the new folks and thanks for the great stories. You all really made my morning! Which, coming off a weekend with not one, but two sick children, could use some help. Damn you, July, END ALREADY!

Show Me the Money

Well, the verdict is in and it is....Not Pregnant. Aunt Flo was just running 6 days behind schedule. I admit, I'm a little disappointed. But not terribly surprised. July has been a crap month. I'd like to return it, please.

So! *brisk clap* On to something more fun! Let's have a contest! I won Alice's Pay it Forward contest and she sent me a lovely gift, which I promise to post pictures of next week. So I will host a Pay it Forward contest. It will be open from now until Monday, August 4th, because everybody's blogs have seemed really slow lately. In order to qualify, leave a comment and tell me something funny that has happened to you recently. I need some help getting through the rest of July. Winner will be chosen randomly, of course.

Riddle Me This, Batman

Today is Day 32 and no period.
I woke up feeling nauseous.
I puked in the sink while getting ready for work.
Brushing my teeth makes me gag.
At lunch, the smell of the restaurant was so strong I almost had to leave, but when I said something about it to my friend, she looked at me like I was nuts.
My chest is so sore it hurts to breathe.

But yet....

I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was negative.

WTF, Dude?!

Odds and Ends

First things first, we saw The Dark Knight on Friday night. It is awesome. Great story, amazing acting. Yes, Heath Ledger will be nominated for an Oscar and will probably win. And he will deserve it. It is such a shame that he's gone, because he was really maturing as an actor and making such interesting choices in the roles he chose, that it would have been really interesting to watch his career progress.


When we left the movies Friday night, we picked up Wildman at Rock's dad's house, and about five miles up the road, hit a deer. Were we driving our huge, gas guzzling, virtually indestructible, largest-SUV-ever-made Ford Excursion that the (actually very small) deer would have bounced right off of with just barely a scratch? WHY NO, WE WERE NOT. In an effort to save money lately, we have been driving my car more. The Deermobile, er, Honda Civic. This is the third deer, y'all. I think I'll just mount some antlers on it. They win.


After that, it was a multi-religion weekend for us! We kicked off Saturday morning with the Mormons. One of our neighbors is a Mormon and he hosted a Pioneer Day thing for some of his church members. It started very early (9am), and was fairly interactive. There were a couple of stations to learn how the pioneers did things. The best was on land navigation, in which I finally learned how to read a compass, although the instructor and Rock both kept taking it out of my hand, and neither could figure out that my main problem in reading it was that I was trying to read a compass while facing East into the rising sun. (The fact that neither of them drew back a nub after reaching for that compass one last time should probably qualify as a miracle.)


Last night, Supergirl went to Vacation Bible School at the local Baptist Church. She had a great time, but cried at the beginning because she didn't want to stay by herself. Rock's mother ended up staying with her.

For the record, we are neither Mormon nor Baptist. Apparently, we're mutts who will go to anyone who will feed us.

While I don't have any real news on this front, I might soon. My period is couple days late. My boobs are so sore - scratch that - my whole chest is so sore that it aches all the way back to my shoulder blades. I've been nauseous all morning and I felt pretty rough all day yesterday. I'm going to give it a few more days and then take a pregnancy test.

Bueller?

Um, did I alienate you guys with that story about mocking Supergirl? It wasn't like it sounded. Rock said it in a really funny tone of voice and we all laughed. She knew we weren't making fun of her.

Or is everybody just on vacation?

Awesome. Not Awesome.

So, this was fun the last time we did it. Things that are awesome and not awesome in my life right now:

Awesome - the PiF gifts I received from Alice last week. Such cute stuff.
Not awesome - the fact that although I have taken pictures, I have not had them developed or uploaded so that I can share them here. I suck.
Awesome - when I do get the pics uploaded, we will be having a PiF contest here! Fun!

Awesome - I have Friday afternoon off and all I'm doing is getting my teeth cleaned! After that, we're going to the movies and out to dinner. Yay, date night!
Awesome - the new Batman movie opens this weekend!
Not awesome - we had invited some friends to go to the movies with us, but they are at the beach. Oh well, next time!
Not awesome - IT IS ONLY WEDNESDAY! (Anyone else remember the Carlin skit about how TGIF is a terrible name for a bar because "that won't make people drink. If you want to make people drink, name it HSIOW - Holy Shit, It's Only Wednesday!" I swear, I think of that every week.)

Not awesome - my ear infections are still not gone. The pressure in my left ear builds up constantly and I have to open my mouth wide and make my ear pop. It's like living on an airplane. My co-workers must think I have a nervous tick, making that weird face all the time. Right, like they didn't already know I was crazy? Let's be real.

So tell me - what is awesome and not awesome in your life today?

How to Mock Your Children

Scene: Family in the car, pulling into the driveway. A rabbit runs across driveway, up the side of the drive, then darts into the woods.

I turn to Supergirl and ask if she saw the bunny. She says no. I think to myself, "Of course you didn't, you're blind as a fucking bat." (She literally *never* sees wildlife or anything like that.)

Rock says, "You couldn't hear a dump truck in a nitroglycerin plant!"

Beating a Dead Horse

Why yes, I will talk about my mother in this post. However did you guess?
(Only briefly, I promise.)
Thank you, Fiona Picklebottom for your wonderful advice on my last post. Your reply was great. On further consideration, though, I decided not to use it. The main reason is that I didn't want to leave him with the impression that I would have gone to lunch with him if it weren't for my husband. Or his wife. Because in truth, it has nothing to do with either of them. Remember that old saying, "The opposite of love isn't hate - it's indifference."? Well, it's true. That's probably news to exactly no one. But, seriously, I look at his picture online and read his emails, and I just feel nothing. I don't think I would have lunch with him even if I were single. Not only have I never been one to stay friends with an ex, I've never been one to get back together with an ex. Once an ex, always an ex, and only an ex. Apparently, I am a cold hearted bitch. I ended up saying, "As far as lunch, thank you, but no. It's been fun catching up, but let's leave it at that."
He did say one thing that made me laugh, though. He asked how my parents were and I replied that I don't speak to my mom. I said, "You know most of the backstory there." He wrote back and said "I am shocked that you don't talk your mom anymore (oh sorry, was that too sarcastic after not talking to you for 8 years?)" Funny, but it also make me feel validated. It's not all in my head. Someone who knew me a long time ago understands why I don't talk to my mom. And with that, we'll leave the mother subject. Put down the noose. (Tell me you all remember Airplane!)
So Tessie is getting a divorce, and "Constance" was talking the other day about a guy she considered a backup if something happened to her husband or if things didn't work out. I was kinda thinking about those things on the way home and suddenly I remembered! I had a backup plan when Rock and I started dating! If things hadn't worked out, I had a plan in mind of what I was going to do. Now, to set the scene, you have to know that I was single, had a cat, was living in an apartment and had just barely eked into a corporate job that I wasn't sure I liked. (Let's just say that my job performance right out of college was slightly less than stellar.) When Rock and I first started dating, we were pretty casual, meaning that we kept dating other people as well. I went out with a few other guys, but honestly, no one even came close. I would have more fun standing in my apartment kitchen talking to Rock than I would have going out on a date with any other guy. (Aside - we had to stand in the kitchen and talk because Rock was allergic to my cat and could not sit on the furniture. Yes, he came to my apartment and visited me for a year and a half even though he was allergic to my cat.) So! My backup plan was that if things didn't work out with Rock, I would move to New York (with no contacts), try to become an actress (with virtually no acting experience), and become a lesbian (with even less experience). The combination of which would probably have resulted in me being homeless in New York and possibly drug addicted, but I bet I would be skinny.

Facebook And the Problems Therein

I haven't had too many problems being on Facebook. The people who've asked to be my friends are people I knew in college. Lately, there've been a few I wasn't all that friendly with, but I figured what the hell, it's online friendship, right? I'm not really rude enough to turn down a friend request from someone I at least knew in college. And was friends with at least superficially. But then, last week, my college boyfriend sent me an email and friend request on Facebook. Nice enough guy, dated him for two years, right before Rock. We were all but engaged when I broke up with him. (He had bought a ring and everything - I never saw it.) Messy breakup - he was distraught. At my door crying at 7 am while I got ready for work a couple of mornings, pounding on my door in the middle of the night (I wasn't there - I was in Rock's room!), calling me crying in the middle of the night. Finally, it tapered off. At the time, we said we'd stay friends. But we didn't. I've never stayed friends with an ex. Sometimes, there was a reason (ie, he was an asshole), sometimes there wasn't (as in this case, not an asshole, just didn't stay friends). I just never do - it's not my style.

So this all happened literally 10 years ago. I have only seen this guy two or three times since then. Now he pops back up and wants to be friends. I wrote back and did the catch up thing. He and his wife are expecting their first child. I was congratulatory, but cool. But he doesn't want to be just online friends. He still lives in NC and is working in Raleigh for a while and says, "If it wouldn't be too weird, maybe we could get some lunch one day."

I'm sure there's a polite way to say, "Look, I really don't want to be friends with you, now, after 10 years." I just have to find it.

Aaaaaand We're Back

So! I've been out sick the last two days. Tuesday, as I wallowed in bed and wished for death, Rock took Wildman to the pediatrician. He has an ear infection. This is his third total and second in six weeks. She (the pediatrician) is starting to think we might need to put tubes in his ears. Wednesday, when I woke up feeling almost as bad as I did on Tuesday with the addition of the fact that my left ear was stopped up, Rock put his foot down and said, "Not only are you not going to work, you're going to the doctor." After writhing around in bed for a while and coming to the conclusion that I would be willing to take a rat turd in order to get well, I finally went to the doctor. So...I have ear infections in BOTH ears. And I'm on antibiotics. Yeast infection, here I come.

On to happier topics! There was great interest (read: two requests!) for more info on homeschooling based on my last post. So let's talk homeschooling. Which is a bit of a misnomer in our case. Supergirl is only five, people, we're only talking kindergarten. But we have been teaching her at home for the past year or so. We decided to try this because she's pretty hyper. We are concerned that if we send her to public school she will be diagnosed as ADHD and prescribed Ritalin. Not that there's anything wrong with ADHD or Ritalin, we just don't feel it's the right course of action in her case. See, I was hyper as a child. Supergirl is no more hyper than I was at her age. What I want is for her to learn to control her own behavior. The way I did. So we try to work with her and help her learn what behavior is appropriate and what is not. And part of that is teaching her at home. Most of our focus has been on reading. We've worked on writing letters, and she can write the alphabet really well. Then, we've taken rhyming words and taught her sets of words. (ex. All, small, mall, wall, etc) We also bought a box of flash cards that had words on one side and a sentence with the word in it on the other side. We've worked with her on spelling and pronouncing each word. We figure she's got about a 400 word vocabulary that she can spell and read. So in measurable results, the homeschooling experiment is going really well. However, Supergirl's attitude is terrible. She hates going over her words and will not do it willingly. That is why last weekend was such a fight. Rock had reminded her every day to go over her words, and she hadn't. He had used it as a test, to see if she would go over them on her own. So on an attitude level, the homeschooling experiment is failing dismally. Honestly, we haven't decided if we're going to continue or if we're going to find a local school that we like and send her there.

On Children and Pets

The older child was a hellbeast all weekend. Hyper and whiny and refusing to do her schoolwork.

The little child was sick all weekend. Nose running like a faucet and screaming when we laid him down.

Now of course, I'm sick. Nose running like a faucet, head like a heater, feel like death served cold. If my weekly deadlines hadn't been pushed back a day due to the holiday, I would be home in bed today.

Why didn't I stick to a cat? I never got sick from my cat.

Completely Irrational

I really did not have much room to be more crazy, but I got pushed a little further today.

This morning, driving to work, a spider fell from the ceiling of my car onto my forehead. At first, I didn't know what it was, but then I brushed it down onto my shirt and saw that it was a spider. So I grabbed a Kleenex and tried to catch the spider so that I could kill it. I *think* I succeeded in knocking the spider down from my shirt onto my skirt. I say I think because I didn't actually see the spider fall and then I couldn't see the (small, brown) spider on my multiple-shades-of brown skirt. Then, I think I knocked the spider off my skirt and onto the floorboard of my car. Again, I didn't see it fall and didn't see it on the floorboard. But it was no longer on my shirt, I couldn't find it on my skirt, and I didn't see it on the floorboard of the car. I have not seen the spider since. Immediately, my skin began crawling and I have had the sensation of bugs crawling all over me all day. I want to go home and take a shower so bad I could scream! And of course, now I'm worried that the spider isn't gone, it's hiding in some crevice of my body like my belly button and will lay eggs and then I'll be that gross woman on the news with a million little spiders hatching out of her belly button. (Yes, you can tell your friends that you know me. No, you may not point and laugh.) And now, my right calf muscle is hurting for no reason at all, so clearly that is a sign of a poisonous spider bite, right?

ARGH!!!

Meme-licious!

I saw this meme at Michele's blog and loved it. I stole it totally without her permission.

1. You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station. What do you get?
Oh my God, 10 dollars is a fortune at a gas station! Let's see, there's zebra cakes and chocolate chip cookies, Swiss cake rolls and oatmeal cookie. Then, you gotta get the salty - Pringle's chips or Cheetos. And a coke, of course.
2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
A mermaid! (Aside - Supergirl told me the other day that she's been praying that God will turn her into a mermaid. Good luck with that one, honey!)
3. Who’s your favorite redhead?
My (former) self! Why won't my red hair come back to me?
4. What do you order when you’re at IHOP?
Ooh, Cinnastacks! Pancakes with cinnamon and creme.
5. Last book you read?
The Breakdown Lane by Jacqueline Mitchard. It was very good. It's about a woman whose husband abandons her with three children. After he leaves, she find out that she has multiple sclerosis. It's cheerful!
6. Describe your mood.
Happy/ bored
7. Describe the last time you were injured.
I really can't think of one. Guess it's been a while.
8. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Stuck in a well, huh? That doesn't sound like fun, and if I have to have another person in there with me, there isn't going to be much space. But I'll say Kelly, because she's always a good time.
9. Rock concert or symphony?
Oh my God, rock concert, all the way. I hate the symphony.
10. What is the wallpaper of your cell phone?
Um...whatever it came with. I have no clue.
11. Favorite soda?
Coke
12. What type of shirt are you wearing?
Black and white striped button down. (I'm at work - what did you expect?)
13. If you could only use one form of transportation?
My beloved Honda Civic.
14. Most recent movie you have watched in theater?
Sex and the City - but I told you that on Monday. Before that, it was Iron Man. I loved both of them.
15. Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for.
Johnny Depp
16. What’s your favorite kind of cake?
Red velvet with cream cheese icing.
17. What did you have for dinner last night?
Soup and crackers
18. Look to your left, what do you see?
The wall of my office with the white board I never use on it.
19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
yes
20. Favorite toy as a child?
Barbies - wonder what I'll have to do to get them back from my mother?
21. Do you buy your own groceries?
Yes, we usually all go on a weekend afternoon
22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
No, I don't think I'm that memorable.
23. Gummy Worms or Hershey Kisses?
gummy worms- I used to love those things.
24. What’s your favorite fruit?
fresh peaches
25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?
Oh, that brings back happy memories of gymnastics when I was a kid. No, no photos though.
26. Do you like running long distances?
I think I would like running if I ever got into it. I like the idea of running a lot. It's the actual, sweaty miserable reality of running that I can't deal with.
27. What is your secret trash food pleasure?
Cheetos
28. What color are your bedsheets?
green
29. What’s your favorite flower?
Roses - I know, so predictable, but they're gorgeous.
30. Do you do ballet?
*sigh* More happy memories. I took ballet from ages 3-11. Sometimes I wish I had never quit. (Aside - I totally need to find a dance class!)
31. Do you listen to classical music?
Urgh - never! There's nothing (music-wise) that I hate more.
32. What is the first TV Theme song that pops in your head?
"bum bum bum - Here comes Speed Racer"
33. Are you really worried about Global warming?
No. I think it's a normal climate change that our planet has gone through several times. I don't believe that cars caused it. They might make it slightly worse, but that's it.
34. What temperature is it outside right now?
I don't know exactly, but probably low 80's. Much, much better than the 100 degree days were having a couple weeks ago.
35. Do people consider you smart?
Yes - actually, people consider me "that weird smart girl" who talks about books and things they don't understand. I'm not that smart, though.
36. On what occasions do you lie?
Very few. I guess I occasionally lie to the children, but hell, who doesn't? That's a time-honored tradition, right?
37. Are you signed on [to] AIM?
nope
38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?
No, but I sort of on purpose stapled my finger about a month ago. C'mon, I can't be the only one who feels tempted to stick their finger in the stapler and try to see how far you can push it down before it staples you, can I?
*crickets*
Well, maybe I can.
39. How do you feel about your family?
Conflicted, but you all know that. My dad and I are close, though.
40. Do you have an iPod?
No
41. What time do you go to bed?
Around ten, although I almost always mean to go to bed around 9.
42. What CD is currently in your CD player?
Houses of the Holy Led Zeppelin
43. What movie do you know every line to?
Steel Magnolias, baby! And National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
44. What is your favorite salad dressing?
Honey mustard
45. What do you want for Christmas this year?
I have no idea. I *never* make a Christmas list. I never have. My parents used to sit me down on Christmas Eve and demand to know what I wanted. Then, they would run out and buy it.
46. What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? Where?
I have a cousin in California.
47. Do you like hugs?
Yes, as long as I know the person giving me a hug.
48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
When I had to tell a co-worker that I like that he had to do better on something.
49. What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?
Shelly doesn't really get mispronounced, it gets misspelled.
50. Last person you hugged?
My sweet little daughter.

Bonus content: Here is a link for an awesome new book, written by lots and lots of bloggers. A large portion of the proceeds from the book will go to Warchild International, a network of independent organisations, working across the world to help children affected by war. My friend Hotfessional has an entry in the book! I can't wait to read it.
http://peacharse.blogspot.com/2008/06/youre-not-only-one-charity-book-for.html