Stolen from Todd at Death Wore a Feathered Mullet:

Have you ever kicked a guy squaw in the nuts?
No, but that doesn't mean I haven't been tempted.

What is your favorite swear word when you're angry?
Goddamn and Motherfucker, two words I had never used before meeting my husband.

Would you rather your date have bad gas or incontinence?
Ooh, I think either way there's no second date!

My friend, who is of the male gender, threw a Steel Magnolias party. Is he gay?
Hmmmm......that's a toughie. I *love* Steel Magnolias and I know several guys who think it's damn funny. But I don't know a single one who would choose to watch it, let alone throw a party. Okay, that's pretty gay.

Have you ever dated a "Ten"?
Nope. I did date a "Minus Ten", though - does that count?

What's better, pizza or oral sex?
Oral sex and pizza at the same time!

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My credit score....

If you could feed Simon Cowell through a woodchipper in front of his parents, what kind of pants would you wear?
Oh, I love woodchippers! I would definitely wear a plaid shirt and jeans, and there would be no way I could refrain from saying, "Yah, and I guess that's your friend you got there in the woodchipper, yah?" But can't we use Seacrest instead of Simon? He's far more annoying!

Can you reveal any little-known celebrity facts?
Britney Spears is crazy. Oh wait, you said "little-known" didn't you? Nevermind.

Is there anything more lame than making up your own meme questions?
Only stealing them and using them on your own blog.