Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity-Jig

We're back! I don't have long to write, because I'm swamped at work, of course, but I wanted to share some random observations of some of the states we visited.

Missouri - What the fuck is wrong with you people? You are getting your own post devoted to the billboards in your state.

Nebraska - Ya'll. Can't. Drive. I know there were some folks out there from other states mucking things up, but there were enough Nebraksa plates that I feel justified in stating that you are some super sucky drivers.

Wyoming - Love ya'll, love your state. Best place we visited. The Big Horn Mountains are *gorgeous*.

South Dakota - Love your state. Some of the folks who live in the Black Hills are mighty scary, though. But you discovered Mammoth Site and opened it to the public, so I guess you're pretty cool overall.

Montana - Will someone please tell me what the hell is up with the dating scene in Montana?! There were girls flirting with Rock with me and the kids standing right beside him. I swear to God, if we'd stayed one more day, I would have had to cut a bitch. I am a jealous mofo and I will hurt you if you mess with my man.

More later!

Vacation

Vacation all I ever wanted, vacation happy to get away...

So we leave tomorrow on a cross country adventure. From NC to South Dakota, then Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho. Three weeks in an SUV with my beloved and our two little darlings. May I remind you that Supergirl is four and a half? If all four of us come back, it will be a miracle. Anybody know any good families in Montana looking for a new daughter? Or husband?

See ya'll at the end of July! Have a safe and happy 4th.

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

Last week I read The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. It won the Pulitzer Prize and was an Oprah pick. Frankly, I hated it. Yes, it's a post-apocalyptic tale of a father and his son scrounging their way down the road from the mountains to the coast. Which is just about as cheerful as it sounds. But I didn't even mind the gloom and doom, it was the fact that it's so poorly written. The characters don't have names, which isn't a problem because the father is referred to as "he" and the son is referred to as "the boy". Not a problem until the end, that is, when the father dies and then the boy is referred to as "he". Then it gets confusing. In addition to that, there are about a million places where apostrophes are left out of contractions. Not every one, mind you, just a lot of them. Enough to drive me crazy and have no consistency. Why are some Pulitzer Prize winners written so poorly? Some are wonderful (Empire Falls and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay spring to mind), but others are *disasters* (this one and The Shipping News by Annie Proulx, which was filled with incomplete sentences). In addition to the grammatical problems, there's also the problem of very little story. The two are walking to the coast. This is their goal throughout the book, so I assumed something would happen once they got there. Nope, absolutely nothing. Nothing happens, there's nothing special there, they stock up on supplies at a boat and then they leave. And then there's the cop-out ending. The two have met only bad people throughout their journey, but as soon as the man dies, leaving the boy alone and defenseless, some good people show up and take him in immediately. Overall, this book is just terrible. There is no universe in which it deserves the Pulitzer. Save your time, save your money and save your mood. Stay away from this pig.

A Change Will Do You Good

So, I'm making some changes to make this blog easier to understand. Not that anyone reads it, but sometimes in writing about my family, I get confused! So a change is in order. From now on, the husband will be referred to as Rock, as in he rocks! The daughter will be referred to as Supergirl and the baby will be Wildman. These reflect their names to me and keep the gender confusion to a minimum. I will update my profile accordingly.

Personalized Plate

On Friday, I saw the best personalized license plate eh-ver. The license plate on the gray Saab three cars ahead of me read "SNAAB".

Seven Random Facts

This has been making the Internet rounds and I have nothing interesting to post, so I'll do it.

Seven Random Facts about me:

1. I used to have red hair. Not flaming, carroty-red hair, but a nice auburn. Then, four and half years ago, I had S. And slowly, over the course of a year or two, my hair turned brown and her hair grew in red. So now I have a redheaded daughter and brown hair. I still hope it will turn back one day.

2. I am the queen of getting out of speeding tickets. Over a three year period, which ended in 2003, I got seven speeding tickets. (Yep, seven. I'm not what you'd call a quick learner.) I hired lawyers and got out of all but the last one with no points on my license and no insurance points. And no, I didn't have sex with any of the lawyers (or judges!).

3. My dad performed my wedding ceremony. No, I did not just say that I married my dad. Yes, I live in the South, but not that far South. My dad is a minister, so when R and I decided to get married, we asked him to officiate. It was cool and he managed not to cry.

4. One of my friends has officially asked me to photograph her wedding. I am so nervous, I could barf! I'm so excited and I have tons of ideas of cool things to do.

5. Both of my children had umbilical cord issues when they were born. S had her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck twice and W had tied his into a knot. Little monkeys.

6. I hide my true feelings about people really well. Very few people ever figure out that I don't like them or think they're stupid. I'm also a terrific liar.

7. One of the things I love most about my husband is that he encourages me to pursue my hobbies. Even if it means spending large quantities of money. When I bought my new camera, he insisted that I buy the better lens and filters to go with it. And he never, ever gives me static for buying books.

Bel Canto

Beckeye asked and I answered, but after thinking about it, I realized how inadequate my answer was. Here is the synopsis of Bel Canto:

Somewhere in South America, at the home of the country's vice president, a lavish birthday party is being held in honor of the powerful business man Mr. Hosokawa. Roxane Coss, opera's most revered soprano, has mesmerized the international guests with her singing. It is a perfect evening - until a band of gun-wielding terrorists takes the entire party hostage. But what begins as a panicked, life-threatening scenario slowly evolves into something quite different, a moment of great beauty, as terrorists and hostages forge unexpected bonds and people from different continents become compatriots. Friendship, compassion, and the chance for great love lead the characters to forget the real danger that has been set in motion...and cannot be stopped.

It is a gorgeous book, and it ends the way it must. I cannot recommend it highly enough.