Notthedaddy

The Days are Long, but the Years are Short

2011-12-02T06:35:00.000-08:00

So when I posted my little rant yesterday, I noticed that all the ages in my profile were wrong. I'm *gulp* 35 now, Supergirl is 9 and Wildman is 5. (We all have Fall birthdays, so we've each had a birthday since my last post.) I just changed them, and it reminded me of this idea from the book The Happiness Project - that the days are long, but the years are short. Incidentally, I really liked The Happiness Project. I had heard of it, but I wouldn't have picked it up except that my local book club chose it as their book for November. What's funny is that I REALLY liked it - like took notes (which I NEVER do), planning my own Happiness Project - liked it. And the rest of the group (y'know, the people who chose to read it), didn't like it. In fact, several of them REALLY disliked it. It's so funny, I like this group, but I am often out-of-step with them. The books they love, I generally dislike, and the books I love, they generally dislike. Oh well, it's still fun to go talk about books.

Anyway, the idea in The Happiness Project, that the days are long but the years are short - it's basically saying that sometimes we can barely drag ourselves through the day (and by "we", I mean "I"), but the years fly by like nothing. Ain't that the truth?! I cannot believe that my kids are 9 and 5 now. It seems like no time has passed since I was pregnant, or holding a little teeny baby. When I think about how long it's been since college, or high school, or being a teenager, or my childhood - well. It's surprising, is what it is. The other day, we were at lunch and there was a tv with some news program on and they were talking about John Hinckley's request to spend more time out of the mental institution that he was sentenced to after he shot President Regan 30 years ago. And it was so shocking to me that the shooting was 30 years ago. I remember when that happened. Granted, it's the first national news story that I can remember, but holy cats! That's 30 years ago now. I remember in my mid-twenties when I realized that some of the things I remembered had happened 20 years ago and it was so surprising because 20 sounds like such a huge number. I'm having the same feeling now with 30 years. It is WEIRD to realize that something I remember happened 30 years ago. I guess it's that, in the abstract, the phrase, "30 years ago" sounds like ancient history. And when I put it into perspective and realize that something I remember personally happened "30 years ago", it's a little shocking. But, life goes on, right? I don't have a problem with being 35, I'm happy with my life and what I'm doing with it, but it does sound like a long time when I think about it. (So I shouldn't think about it, right?!)

We Need a Little Christmas

2011-12-01T05:38:00.000-08:00

This is entirely too nerdy to be said in real life, but I need to get it off my chest. So I'm going to tell y'all! How lucky are you?!

Are you all familiar with the song, "We Need a Little Christmas"? Cheery little song that gets played throughout the holiday season, right? (It's playing right now because my Christmas obsessed co-worker has had Christmas music playing for the past two weeks. In totally related news, my homicide level is rising.) But, here's the thing: That is not a Christmas song. It's from the musical Mame, which is not very well known because it kind of sucks. And it's not even a Christmas song in the musical, either! Auntie Mame starts singing, and drags out a bunch of Christmas decorations, in the SUMMER, because she and her nephew are having a hard time, and everything they try to do is falling apart. So they pretend that it is Christmas time to cheer themselves up. And yes, I guess it kind of CAN be a Christmas song, in that it's saying we need to channel the Christmas spirit even if it isn't Christmas time, so when it IS Christmas time, we need the Christmas spirit even more, but still. It bugs me literally every time I hear it.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

2011-09-22T15:00:00.001-07:00

by Shelly Notthedaddy.

Hey so, that was a long break, huh?! Sorry about that. This summer was great. Here's what we did:

Fun fact: That's my mom in the background, talking to one of her friends.

My mom and I split the cost of a pool membership and all of us went swimming almost every weekend. We had such a great time.

Things are really going well with getting along with my mom. We're both trying really hard to get along. This summer has helped us a lot.

Eye of Horror

2011-04-08T14:22:00.000-07:00

Oh hey, so guess what fun-filled adventure I had THIS week? I had pinkeye! Yes, that lovely little eye infection that kids get, but I had never had before. It was a delight. My family has been sick for about the last month, first with upper respiratory infections and then with pinkeye. I got the upper respiratory first, and was the last to kick it, and Rock was the first to get the pinkeye, and the last to kick it (in fact, his eyes are still red). My pinkeye started on Monday, after lunch, at work. At first, my right eye was just red, and a little oozy. But then, after an hour or two, it was swollen to about half the normal size, blood red, watering constantly, and oozing green pus. My co-workers were completely horrified. So I called in sick on Tuesday. Because my eye was swollen shut Tuesday morning. So I took pictures! Here, want to see some really gross pictures of my eye all swollen up and nasty? What do you mean, "no"? That's not the fun answer!

Here is the eye by itself. I particularly liked how the undereye indention completely swelled out.

And this is the EYE, with the uninfected left eye for comparison.

Somehow, the infection stayed localized to just my right eye. I was surprised, because I expected it to spread to the left eye immediately. I went to the doctor on Tuesday, of course, and got a z pack for the upper respiratory and antibiotic eye drops for the Eye of Horror. Both are working really quickly, and I'm not a cyclops anymore.

Progress. Oh My God, People, We Have Progress

2011-03-31T14:55:00.000-07:00

Well, if this keeps up, I'll be a regular blogger again! My mother called me last night. I was on the other line when she called, so I didn't answer, and she left a very nice voicemail. She said that she just wanted to let me know she was thinking about me. So I called her back, and we had a really nice little chat. It was about 7:30 and I was driving home (I had gone to a Zumba class after work), and when I told her that, she laughed because she had waited to call, thinking that I would be home, have dinner over with and be free to talk. (HA to the HA. If only my life were that orderly.) We talked about regular stuff, my job and her job, and her family. (My great-aunt is still alive, thank God. I was really worried that she had passed away and no one knew how to get in touch with me. Which is a situation I created, but still. I was worried.) And I invited her to come visit sometime. We didn't set a time for her to visit, but still. Baby steps. And at the end of the call, I told her I loved her. Um, because I didn't the last time. The call lasted about 20 minutes, and then we ran out of things to say, so I guess that means that my mom and I can get along in 20 minute increments. It's a start. I still feel really conflicted about all this. I feel like I'm waiting on the other shoe to drop. Sure, she's being nice now, but how long is that going to last? Part of me is really pissed off that I'm being so naive as to let her back in. That part of me feels like I'm going to feel like a huge fool when she hurts me again. But part of me is a little hopeful that maybe we can have a decent relationship. I'm not saying I think we'll be besties and go shopping together on the weekends, but maybe we can talk and not hate each other. She sounds old on the phone, you guys. She has one of those brittle, old lady voices. I didn't recognize her voice when I called her last week. It makes me kind of sad to hear it. And my dad looks older every time I see him. That's one of the reasons I decided to call her again after all these years. Neither of them will live forever. Might as well at least try to make peace with her now.

Breaking News

2011-03-23T14:48:00.000-07:00

News, this time posted within the week it happened!

I called my mother Sunday night. For the first time in seven years.

There were a lot of different catalysts for it. I'd been thinking about writing her a letter since before Christmas, but I never got around to it. I'd talked to a few friends and my dad about getting back in touch with her. Most seemed to think it was a good idea, but that I should be careful so that I don't get hurt again.

You know how sometimes an idea or a word keeps popping up, in lots of different contexts? I've had that going on lately about the idea of standing up for myself. And the main person I have always needed to stand up to was my mom. So I called her, and it went okay. It started off rocky, she started trying to argue with me and I kept blocking her and getting more frustrated and finally, when I was really feeling like the whole damn thing had been a huge mistake, I just asked her, "Look, what do you want? Do you want to be friends with me?" And she backed down and said yes, she did and that she was glad I called. She suggested that when she says something hurtful, I call her on it immediately and I said I would be willing to try that. After that, we had kind of a normal conversation, very stilted and awkward, of course, but not too bad. I gave her my phone number, so we'll see if she calls.

Slightly Old, but Still Exciting News!

2011-01-14T13:53:00.000-08:00

I got a new car!!!! I bought it on October 3oth. It's the first car solely in my name, which is kind of exciting. And it's the first brand new car I've ever owned. I got a 2010 Volkswagen diesel Jetta, and I love it only slightly less than I love my children. KIDDING! (mostly.) Here are some pictures:

Why yes, it did snow here. That was four days after Christmas, which wasn't exactly a white Christmas, but pretty damn close. It started snowing about 8:00 on Christmas night and didn't stop until sometime the next day. (No, I'm not a meteorologist, why do you ask?)

Front view! Doesn't it look like it's smiling? Such a happy car. It also gets really great fuel mileage and has satellite radio and bluetooth capability, which works some of the time. But hey - I live out in BFE, so I'm pretty accustomed to things not working all the time.

And then, not two months after I bought it, I made the mistake of going to a popular and very crowded shopping center 3 days before Christmas. And a dumbass with a freaking huge dog in her car wasn't paying attention and bumped into me at an intersection. (No offense to my friends who own dogs, but y'know, they can be kinda distracting when you're driving.) I was at a stoplight, turning right from a lane in which you could turn right or go straight through the light. Once the light turned green, I pulled off the line and started to make my turn. She came up from the next lane, the right turn only lane, slightly behind me. I guess veered left, trying to cut across so that she could make a left at the next stoplight, because she ran into the back passenger door and rear quarterpanel of my car. She was totally clueless and kept asking me if I had made a left at the light or gone straight through the light. She had no idea I was in the lane beside her! Anyway, here is how the passenger side of my car looks now:

WAMP, WAMP!

But, the damage is fairly minor (although the body shop is planning to replace the rear door panel), my insurance is paying to fix it, and I just called and scheduled the repairs for the first week of February, so then my car will be back to its brand new beauty! I'm really glad they're replacing the door panel - that dent is pretty deep. All in all, still pretty damn happy with the new car.

Happy Day!

2010-10-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

Well! It's been a while, hasn't it? But, today is my birthday and I love my birthday like a little kid, so I thought it would be a good time to say hello and tell you all what I've been up to!

So, let's pick up where we left off, shall we? I chose not to go to the high school reunion. There really weren't many people I would like to see, and I don't feel any need to show them how I'm doing. Plus, I haven't seen, heard from, talked to, heard about, ANYTHING, the Awful Ex, so I decided to leave that situation exactly as it was. I'm a little afraid that he'd "want to be friends" or something ridiculous like that. As Ebeneezer Scrooge so aptly put it, "I wish to be left alone." So I skipped it. (I did look at the pictures on FB though, and there were some people I would not have recognized. And I don't mean that in a good way.)

Did I tell you that my car died? Yes, sadly, my beloved 10 year old Honda Civic passed to that great parking lot in the sky back in July. It quit in about 15 minutes, too, which is kinda scary and kinda good. I told one of my friends that it was the car equivalent of having a massive heart attack and being dead before you hit the floor. It was kind of good, in that we didn't spend tons of money fixing a million little things before the big one hit, and it was also good that I was close to home when the service engine soon light came on, because by the time I got to our driveway, there was steam pouring out from underneath the hood. We changed the oil and hoped it was fixed, so I drove it a little to make sure it was alright before work the next day, and I didn't even make it the three miles out to the highway. The engine temperature pegged out at the hottest point and stayed there, so I turned around and went home. A few days later, we tried to move it from that parking spot and it wouldn't even shift into gear, so the transmission and motor are both shot. We've been taking our time to decide what to buy next (and save up some money, since we were hoping that the Civic would last a couple more years until some other things were paid off), but we've pretty well settled on the Volkswagon diesel Jetta. It's a really cute little car and the gas mileage is unbelievable. Now it's just a matter of time while we get our finances in order to buy one. I can't wait because right now I'm commuting in a Ford Excursion, which is basically the biggest SUV EVAH, and you can imagine how maneuverable that thing is on city streets and parking lots.

One thing delaying the car purchase is the fact that our house is falling apart in large chunks. Remember back in May when the stove caught on fire and the well pump quit ON THE SAME DAY? Would you believe that the well pump died again, this time quickly followed by the hot water heater? And that this time, it rained the entire week after the well pump died so that we couldn't fix it (electric pump + rain = bad idea), so that we spent an ENTIRE WEEK without water in our house? Yep, THAT was a fun week. Fortunately, Rock's mom and stepdad live right in front of us, so I could go to their house to shower in the mornings, so at least I could still go to work. (I refered to my office as The Land of Running Water that week and I wasn't at all unhappy about working some overtime!) This time, we replaced the well pump, the pressure tank and the hot water heater, so hopefully it will be more than 5 months before we have to replace anything again. Aren't you dying to visit my house?

So tell me, what's new with you?

Oh right - that blog thing!

2010-08-30T14:37:00.000-07:00

So! Long time no talk, eh? The culprit is my job, of course, but since I want to stay gainfully employed, that's all I'll say about that.

So let's talk about something else, shall we? How about my 15 year high school reunion? Seems it's in a few weeks. (Which - WTF? How has 15 years gone by so fast?) On the one hand, I'm tempted to go. Which is a total change of heart from the 10 year reunion, to which, I believe I said, wild horses couldn't drag me. But somehow, the ensuing 5 years have mellowed me a bit. (Or finding people on Facebook has convinced me that most of the people I went to high school have also put on weight, and have crappier jobs/ lives than I do. Which may not be the purest reason for wanting to go to a high school reunion, but I take what I can get.) There is a small handful of people I'd kinda like to see (and by small handful, I mean less than 5). It's also a family oriented event, at a local park, during daylight hours, so I don't think there's much danger of getting drunk and making a fool of myself. On the other hand, that means there is no alcohol to ease the social tension of seeing a bunch of people I didn't like 15 years ago. And I'm not sure I really want to go. There are lots of people I really don't want to ever see again. Which brings me to the big reason why I don't want to go: my really awful, abusive, high school boyfriend is one of the organizers. He sent out an email about it over the weekend, and just seeing that email made me feel a little sick.

So, tell me your opinions and your high school reunion stories! Should I stay or should I go?

Marshall Karp

2010-06-18T05:38:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to let you guys know that one of my very favorite authors, Marshall Karp, has a new book out! It's called Cut, Paste, Kill and the early reviews sound really good! I plan to pick it up this weekend and can't wait to read it.

If you do pick it up, you might just recognize a character or two. ; ) Blogging about books and emailing an author can have awesome and surprising results!

Still Alive

2010-06-10T14:44:00.000-07:00

Oh my god, you guys! I have SO MUCH to tell you. First of all, we did get an intern! She's a friend of a friend, and she is SO MUCH HELP. She only works two days a week, but they are my busiest two days and she just makes everything run so much more smoothly. I'm still busy and working late most nights, but at least I have a little help on the most stressful days. AND, I have a half day off tomorrow (if I can get out of here at lunchtime!) and I plan to take Supergirl to the movies. I'm really looking forward to that.

Secondly, I met Richard Russo! He came to North Carolina for a reading and book signing, and he was so incredibly nice. He took lots of audience questions, and was gracious enough to take questions in the book signing line. I asked him a question in the signing line and he laughed and answered my question and told me a little story about his family. He was awesome. Such a genuinely nice man. And look, I met a famous author and managed not to piss him off! Major accomplishment, that. I did miss Jen Lancaster's NC signing due to house issues (as in, the stove caught fire and the well pump broke and my house had no water ON THE SAME DAY), but we won't dwell on that. I don't even want to know what was wrong with that day. Two days later, just after we got the water fixed, lightning struck our house for the third or fourth time. No major damage this time, it just burned out a few light bulbs. So what I'm saying is that you REALLY don't want to come visit.

Things Making Me Laugh Today

2010-05-06T05:52:00.000-07:00

On Facebook:
Friend "is praying for family in transition, friends who continue to grieve, coworkers to know Jesus personally, military members abroad, their families at home, missionaries abroad & those who still wait, students who are graduating & those who still search for answers, those in leadership & those who criticize their leaders. Most of all...peace in the waiting...."
Is it wrong that my first instinct is, "Jeez, give God a break!"

Overheard in my office:
Co-Worker A to Co-Worker B: "You must have a photogenic memory!"
(She realized her mistake and corrected herself, but still.)

From inter-office newsletter:
"Moving to quickly makes my work sloppy, usually contains errors and I tend to feel scattered."
Yay, irony!

So tell me - what's making you laugh today?

Things That Make Me Smile

2010-04-29T05:48:00.000-07:00

I got up this morning and noticed what book my husband started reading last night - The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

That totally made my day.

Oh HAI!

2010-04-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

Right, so that whole "month of April" thing...I've been around, hopefully commenting on most of your blogs. But at work, oh my God, at work, I've descended into the fourth circle of Hell. My closest co-worker gave her notice at the end of March (why yes, right around the time I stopped blogging!) and left our office the second week of April. At first, they were going to replace her as soon as possible, but yet not hire the first person off the street and asked me to take on her responsibilities for a short time. Which, yeah, I wasn't thrilled about, but as long as they were actually working on replacing her, I could probably deal. Then, a few days later, they were going to hire someone part time to replace her. Which, no, was not my first choice of options, but I knew she had a good bit of downtime, so maybe it could be a part time job. My biggest worry was that they would hire someone who wanted part time work, and then, when we get busy enough to need a full-time person, wouldn't want to go full-time. But then - oh dudes, THEN. Boss' Boss came into town on the next to last day my co-worker was working, sat down with Boss and me, and announced that he had no plans to hire anyone to replace co-worker, that I would be taking on both jobs, and that they expected outstanding performance in both roles OR ELSE. The OR ELSE was more subtle, but the message was loud and clear. So I've been working overtime and busting my ass for the last few weeks. It seems to be going pretty well, though, and I don't think the OR ELSE is going to come into play. Now, though, they are talking about hiring an intern to come in a couple of days a week to help me out. So there may be light at the end of this very dark tunnel.

In other news, I saw the movie The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and it was seriously wonderful! DO NOT be put off by the whole "it's in Swedish with English subtitles" thing. You can totally follow the plot and dialog. Rock, who has not read the book, went with me and he loved it, too, so you don't even have to have read the book. But really, you should, because as good as the film is, the book is even better. But the film stays true to the book, following the very complex plot very closely. I was really impressed. If it's coming to a theater near you, do go see it.

40 Things

2010-03-29T11:07:00.000-07:00

40 Things

Stolen from the Hotfessional, because she's awesome.
1. Do you like bleu cheese?

OMG, no. When we were in Vienna, my friend and I ordered a pizza to share that was listed as a "Four Cheese Pizza". Because we couldn't read German, we didn't know that one of those cheeses was bleu cheese. The pizza was completely inedible, and one of the leaders of the trip swapped food with us because he liked bleu cheese.
2. Have you ever smoked?
No. I dabbled with smoking a bit in college, and I still almost always have a pack of clove cigarettes in my car, but I hardly ever smoke one. I think the pack that's in my car now is more than a year old, and still mostly full.
3. Do you own a gun?
Yes. This is what happens when you marry a military man. I'm also a surprisingly good shot, given that I never practice.
4. Favorite type of food?
Mexican. I could eat Mexican food every day and not get tired of it.
5. Favorite type of music?
Classic rock. Zeppelin, the Stones, the Who.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Love them! I don't even care if they're the brown ones or the red ones. I like them all. With mayo, ketchup and chili. Yummmm.
7. Favorite Christmas movie?
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, which I will watch anytime of the year. I do not consider it a Christmas movie. It just happens to be set at Christmas time.
The George C. Scott version of A Christmas Carol. (He shared my birthday, a fact I bring up every time George C. Scott is mentioned.)
How the Grinch Stole Christmas - the Grinch's dog Max makes me laugh every time.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water while I'm getting ready for work, coffee on the way to work.
9. Can you do push ups?
HAHAHAHA!!! No.
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My diamond earrings. Present from hubby a few Christmases ago.
11. Favorite hobby?
Like you have to ask? Reading. And photography.
12. Do you have A. D. D.?
No.
13. Do you wear glasses/contacts?
Contacts during the week, glasses sometimes on the weekend, sunglasses if it's the least bit bright.
14. Middle name?
Alicia. Technically, now it's my maiden name, but I don't want to put that out here.
15. Name three thoughts at this exact moment:
I have so much work to do. Oh. Wait.
Damnit, my nose is running again.
I need to stop at Target on the way home.
16. Name three drinks you regularly drink:
Water, coffee and sweet tea.
17. Current worry?
Wow, I can't really think of anything. I must be far luckier than I realize.
18. Current hate right now?
My cold/ allergies/ what-the-hell-ever is making my nose run and making me feel like crap yesterday and today.
19. Favorite place to be?
At home, with my family
Followed closely by - in bed, asleep
20. How did you bring in the new year?
Rock and the kids and I stayed up talking, wished each other a Happy New Year, then went to bed. Yes, we ARE the most exciting people you know.
21. Someplace you’d like to go?
I want to take my dad to Scotland, which is where our family is from.
22. Name three people who will complete this.
Eh, anyone who wants to. I don't believe in tagging people.
23. Do you own slippers?
Own them, yes
Wear them, no
24. What color shirt are you wearing?
Orange
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
No, I prefer high-count cotton
26. Can you whistle?
Not well.
27. Where are you now?
At work.
28. Would you be a pirate?
Hell yes! Arrrh, you're going to have to walk the plank, matey!
29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I get up too early to sing in the shower. If I did, though, it would be showtunes.
30. Favorite Girl’s Name?
Eva
31. Favorite boy’s name?
Nicholas, which Rock doesn't like and I will never get to use. Sob.
32. What is in your pocket right now?
Nothing, these pants don't have pockets.
33. Last thing that made you laugh?
Lunch with a work friend.
34. What vehicle do you drive?
Ten year old Honda Civic, Represent! 260,000 miles and going strong. I love that car.
35. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
That would be my broken ankle.
36. Do you love where you live?
Yes, but I don't love my commute.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
One
38. How many computers do you have in your house
Zero
39. If you changed your job, what would it be?
I really want to look into moving into the publishing industry. Or photography, but that would definitely require going back to school.
40. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be??
New job (or lottery win. Also acceptable.)
Better figure
Husband to not be allergic to cats (yeah, that's pretty random.)

2010-03-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

Heh. Well, I'm still glad that I got that rant out of my system on Thursday. Posting that allowed me to go back and get that project on track. It is now done and waiting on review, which I hope will be positive. For the most part, I really like my job and I do a very good job here. It's just that sometimes I get frustrated and writing about it helps.

Anyway, I hope you all had a great weekend! The weather here was gorgeous! We even managed to get outside and enjoy it both days this weekend. On Saturday, we prepared two flower beds and on Sunday, we planted some flowers in each of the beds. I'm so excited and can't wait to see all the bright, happy flowers in a few months. The kids loved picking out the flowers (things they did not love: helping to prep the flower beds!). I'll try to remember to take pictures to show you guys when the flowers start to bloom!

So tell me: what did you do over the weekend?

Small Rant

2010-03-18T11:25:00.000-07:00

Oh my fucking God, you guys. How did I wind up in a job that requires this much math? Because math skillz, I does not has them. I don't mean addition, subtraction, multiplication, etc - those I can do. I mean, looking at the situation and going, "Oh, but wait, if there's a fee, you have to take that off the top before you can use this handy dandy formula (that I keep written down and hidden in my bottom desk drawer)." I'm working on a project that I should be rocking, and instead I'm stinking it up. I realized before lunch that "Oops. All those times where I thought the program had the wrong answer and I had the right answer? Yep, the program answer was right and the Shelly answer was wrong." I might as well just start over. Crap.

Seriously, I report to an Accounting department?! What is up with that? How did I get here, yo?

Judging Books...

2010-03-11T14:01:00.000-08:00

Open letter to authors, publishers, marketers, etc:
If your book has a major plot twist that should shock or surprise your readers, do not discuss it in the synopsis in such a way that makes it absolutely obvious WHAT the plot twist is. The book jacket for a novel I read recently discussed a plot twist by saying, "Then, decades later, another unimaginable piece of information turns up. For the reader, it is an electrifying moment, a joyous, fall-off-the-couch-with-surprise moment. For Patsy [the main character], it is more complicated. Blame must be reapportioned, her life reassessed." The way the story is set up, if blame has to be reapportioned, then that "piece of information" can only be one thing. I knew what the twist was before I even started reading the novel. My point is this: if you truly wanted to make it a "fall-off-the-couch-with-surprise moment", you should have camouflaged it better in the synopsis. Saying, "Decades later, Patsy discovers something shocking about her crime that causes her to reassess her life." is more vague and leaves more possibilities open.

Much love,
Shelly

I'm currently reading Water for Elephants, which has been sitting on my shelf for a couple years for one simple reason - it had no synopsis at all, so I didn't have any idea what it was about. I only started it now because the book club I just joined is reading it this month. Otherwise, it might have sat on my shelf indefinitely, because I had very little interest in it. I'm not very far into it, but so far it's fantastic. The first chapter grabs you and pulls you in. It's as good as John Irving, back in his Garp days, only maybe a little better.

I'm also listening to the first Harry Potter book on cd. I've just about finished it- in fact, I'll probably finish it on the way home, and I've already got the second one checked out of the library to start as soon as I finish the first. I've been thoroughly enchanted with the first book. I have a major apology to issue to all my friends who told me, over the years, how much I would enjoy the Harry Potter series if I read them. Not that I disrespected my friends, or didn't value their opinions, but I just didn't have any interest in the HP series. And I never really knew why until I started planning this post. I remembered a few years back, when Supergirl first got curious about the books I read, she asked me what one of my books was about. And, because I hadn't yet figured out that the plot lines of almost all the books I read aren't really suitable to explain to a small child, I told her. She immediately started asking a bunch of questions about why the people did what they did, why they weren't good, etc., etc. Rock chimed in and said, "Because Momma doesn't read happy books. Nice, happy things don't happen in her books." He was joking, in part, but I was a little stung, too. And I realized yesterday that I was stung because the criticism is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. I don't really read happy books. And that's exactly why I resisted the Harry Potter series for so long. They sounded really sweet. And wholesome. And I don't really do sweet and wholesome. Give me a good serial killer, or a dysfunctional family and I'm happy. But I've been pleasantly surprised by the HP series. They are sweet, and wholesome, but they are also fun and really, really entertaining. (Oh, and I've also learned to PG my book descriptions for Supergirl. So now, my descriptions are more along the lines of "Oh, it's about a family." "And what do they do?" "Well, they do family stuff, you know." Instead of saying, Well the teenage daughter drops the baby down the stairs giving him permanent brain damage, then has a nervous breakdown, accuses her father of molesting her, and gets packed off to a special school for crazy teens. And the parents split up. Of the True Blood series, my description was, "It's about a girl and her boyfriend." "What do they do?" "Oh, they go out to dinner and talk a lot." Well, see, he's a vampire and she's a mind reader, so they get into lots of trouble, and they also have lots of sex. Much better, all the way around.)

The Hits Just Keep on Coming

2010-03-04T07:40:00.000-08:00

Oh my God, you guys. Tuesday night it started snowing. And snowing. And snowing. When I went to bed, we had about 3 inches. Rock woke me up around 3 am, when he was going to bed, and told me we had about 5 inches and I probably wouldn't be going to work. So I reset my alarm for later, so that I could call and find out if the office was closed, or let people know I wasn't coming in, went to the bathroom, and went back to sleep. About an hour later, our power started going off and coming back on. Then, it went off and stayed off. Since my alarm clock has a battery back-up, it still went off at 7. I called one of my co-workers to ask if the office was closed. She was like, "Um, no. Why? We only got a half inch of snow." And I said, "Well, I've got 6 inches of snow and no power. I won't be in." Disadvantage of living far away from the office - your weather can be completely different from theirs. So we played in the snow and then went to town to get some food and then went to my in-laws house because they have a generator (Flushing toilets! Running water! I've never been quite so excited to wash my hands.) and hung out there for the afternoon. We were just starting to make plans about where to spend the night when the power came back on at 5:15pm, more than 12 hours after it went off. We gathered up our stuff and went back to our house, and about an hour after we turned on our furnace, our house was warm again. Gas heat for the win!

Weekends

2010-03-01T11:37:00.000-08:00

So this weekend was much quieter than last weekend, thank God. My kid is fine, totally fine. She's back to fighting with her brother, so she must be fine, AMIRITE?

Has anyone else discovered Dan Chaon's novels? I read You Remind Me of Me last weekend and Await Your Reply this weekend. I checked them out of the library, but then I found a copy of You Remind Me of Me at the used bookstore for $5 on Friday evening! Score! They're both very good, but Await Your Reply is stellar. It's a Chinese box, MC Escher drawing, interlocking puzzle of a novel. It focuses on identity theft, and I swear, it made me want to stop direct deposit on my paycheck, close my bank account, put all my money in a shoebox under my bed and crawl in there after it. And never touch the Internet again. Oh, and burn my credit cards. And I am not the paranoid member of my household. I want Rock to read it, except that I'm afraid that if he does, we'll be living in a hole in the ground, eating food we raise, and I'll never get a computer or Internet access at home. (the amount that I'm kidding in that sentence is lower than you think.) But the characters! Oh my God, you guys, the characters! And the plot twists! And that's about all I can say without giving anything away except OMG, SO GOOD. Chaon has a way of crafting novels around a theme without being obvious and a hand so deft with plot twists that you will be blind-sided. They're both excellent, but Await Your Reply is phenomenal.

Never Say Your Life is Too Boring...

2010-02-22T07:21:00.000-08:00

...because you'll wind up with a story like this one.

On Friday, I had the day off work. Supergirl and I were scheduled to get our teeth cleaned at 1:00 at our dentist's office. Since our regular mechanic was on the way, I scheduled an oil change and safety inspection for my car, telling him I would drop the car off on our way to the dentist and pick it up on our way home. Then, my plan was to go do a little shopping, and just relax. I even thought about stopping at the library, to write a little post here, updating you guys on my sunglasses purchases and checking on a few other things I had going on various other places on the Internets. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (That's the Universe, laughing at my nice, simple plan for Friday.) While we were at the dentist's office, they mentioned putting sealants on Supergirl's molars. This was something I had wanted to do, so I was definitely open to the idea. Well, my insurance covers it at 100%, and the hygenist said it would only take 15 minutes and wouldn't hurt her, did we want to do it right then? So, I talked it over with Supergirl for a few minutes, and we agreed to go ahead and do it. I was still having my teeth cleaned in the next room, so I wasn't with her at this point, so I don't know exactly what happened. I could hear her starting to whimper a little, so I checked on her a time or two, but she seemed to be okay. I talked to her and told her what they were doing and she calmed down. So I went back to the room next door and my cleaning. Once my cleaning was finished, I went to Supergirl's room and she had thrown up ALL over the place. I helped get her cleaned up, then took her to the bathroom to finish cleaning her up. Throughout all this, she kept saying that her throat hurt really bad. When we came out of the bathroom, one of the hygenists came and got us and said, "We want to do another x-ray if she'll let us." Which I thought was weird, but whatever, so I helped talk Supergirl into letting them do one more x-ray. Then, we went back to the room where they had cleaned her teeth. Then the hygenist and the dentist told me why they wanted to do that last x-ray. When she threw up, or before she threw up, the dental mirror that they had in her mouth broke and the reflective disc went down her throat. (Naturally, they didn't tell me this that concisely. They told me that they thought she might have swallowed "part of an instrument". They said "part of an instrument" about four times before they actually told me WHICH PART of WHICH INSTRUMENT. I was visualizing the sharp, scrapy tools for a full minute or two before they showed me the round, quarter-sized disc that my daughter actually swallowed. Which, yes, bad. But way better than the sharp, scrapy tools that I was immediately imagining.) (They also told me this IN FRONT OF SUPERGIRL. Who proceeded to freak the fuck out. I was barely holding it together, but she lost it.) So. Once I got Supergirl calmed down some, the dentist and I talked. The disc was plastic, had no sharp edges, and was about the size of a quarter. We thought it would probably travel on through her digestive system and be fine. But, he recommended that we go over to the Urgent Care Center and have a throat and chest x-ray, just to make sure it wasn't stuck somewhere, especially since she was still saying that her throat hurt really badly. He also made it clear that his office would cover all costs. So, then I got to explain to my husband (who was waiting outside) how all this had happened and that we now needed to head over to the Urgent Care for some x-rays. Initally, he was mad at me for going ahead with the sealants without us discussing it as a family (which, valid point), but once he realized that this was a serious situation, he dropped that beef and got supportive. He came in to the Urgent Care just as the x-rays were being developed and discussed. The Urgent Care doctor was a little brusque and I was starting to get mad, so Rock showed up at the perfect time and took over dealing with the doctor. At the Urgent Care, (which was about two blocks away from the dentist's office), they took two x-rays and saw the mirror on the first one. It was stuck in the back of her throat. In the second x-ray, it was blocked by her chin, so it was still that high in her throat. She threw up another time or two, once more in the dentist's office and once in the Urgent Care. The Urgent Care sent us directly to the Emergency Room at the hospital (practically across the street from the Urgent Care), where they would sedate her and intubate her and then reach into her throat with forceps and pull the mirror out. But of course, that took forever. First, they had to insert an IV. Then, they gave her some Benadryl. (I don't really know why, but it made her really drowsy, which made her more comfortable.) During this part, Rock was with her and I was with Wildman out in the waiting room. Because of swine flu and norovirus and all that other stuff, children under 12 can't go back to the emergency room "rooms" (unless they are patients), so he had to stay out in waiting room. So I sat in the waiting room for an hour with a 3 year old, which I do not recommend. Rock had the keys to the car, so I couldn't even take him to the car to get him out of the waiting room. He crawled on the floor, under the "wet floor" sign. He crawled all over this nice lady who had a kidney stone.(Fortunately, she had a small son at home, so she was VERY nice about him. Bless her, I hope she's well today!) He crawled all over a little family with a baby girl until I pulled him off them. Finally, Rock came out and switched places with me. I went back to the room and sat with Supergirl and he took Wilman out to the car. After three hours, they finally took her in for the procedure. Once she was in surgery, we could all wait in that waiting room, so we were all back together. The Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist who did the procedure was terrific. He said the funny thing was that, since it was a mirror, it reflected his lights back at him, so it was hard to see to get hold of it. Once the mirror was out of her throat, and she woke up from the anesthesia, Supergirl was fine. Her throat didn't hurt anymore. They took a chest x-ray to be sure that nothing else was in there, then sent her up to a hospital room. There, they gave her an antibiotic and an anti-nausea medicine in her IV, which took an hour and a half to drip in. She had to be able to walk and to urinate and not throwing up before she could go home, but she was easily doing all of that in the first hour after her surgery. We went home that night, but it was after 10:00 before we left the hospital. She's been fine since then, though. The ENT Specialist and the dentist both called to check on her on Saturday morning, which I though was really nice. Just an insane day.

Need help

2010-02-16T12:59:00.001-08:00

If I want high-quality, durable polarized sunglasses without paying a really exorbitant price, what brand should I look at? I want something fashionable, but I don't like the bug-eye, huge trend that's popular right now. My last pair (that broke last weekend, RIP beloved sunglasses! was a pair of Fossil's that I bought about 4 years ago, so you can tell that I don't lose them or break them until they wear out from old age. So I don't mind paying more than $10 at Wa!-Mart. I get migraines, so I'm way more concerned with blocking light than I am with saving money or looking good. I'm not prepared to pay a mortgage amount, though, of course. Any brand or store suggestions welcome!

Updates

2010-02-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

So I guess since I'm getting those really annoying anonymous comments, I should post something. There hasn't been a reason I haven't been posting, I've just been busy at work. But here are a few updates of things I've thought about telling you, but haven't managed to:

A doctor finally commented on my weight loss! And it was a doctor who had previously advised me to lose some weight, which made me tremendously happy. It had been three months since my last appointment with him, and he commented, "Since your last visit, you've lost 9...no, 11 pounds. That's great!" To which I thanked him for saying something and told him that positive reinforcement went a long way.

Facebook tip - If you actively tormented me in middle or high school, DO NOT send me a friend request on FB. I received a friend request last week from "Homecoming Queen". In middle school, this girl made fun of my new haircut. The next week, she came in with the very same haircut. I tell this story not to show my grudge-holding prowess (though it is impressive, no?), but to say, she and I were not friends. So when I got her friend request, I laughed all the way to the "Ignore" button.

Also, if you are on Goodreads, please friend me. I've just started participating in their bookswap and I'd love to swap books with some of you! If you don't know my last name, send me an email and I'll tell you or tell me how to find you on Goodreads and I'll friend you.

Quarter Four in Books

2010-01-18T08:00:00.000-08:00

So! Last week was great. Thank you all for your comments and compliments. Let's talk some more about last year. Here is what I read and listened to in the fourth quarter:

1. State of Fear by Michael Crichton (audio) - This is Crichton's novel about global warming. Published in 2004, it is not at all what you would expect. It is a rocking good novel, with well-drawn characters facing improbable circumstances. But at the end, there is almost a full disk of "author's message". Crichton thought that global warming was exaggerated, at best, and possibly a total hoax. It's a bold stand, and Crichton was certainly no conspiracy monger. It's a fascinating read, and I plan to buy a copy in print to read in addition to the cds.

2. Living Dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris - Second book in the True Blood series, it continues the Sookie Stackhouse story. Again, good fun. Light and fluffy, no heavy lifting here.

3. The City and the City by China Mieville - This book has a weird premise: what if Berlin wasn't separated by a wall at all, but instead by an imaginary dividing line, and all the residents of East and West Berlin had to pretend not to see the other city? That's the basic idea, except of course, it isn't Berlin; it's a made up country, Beszel, but the idea is the same. It's two cities, interlocked, but the citizens of each city have to pretend that they don't see the other city or its residents. Then, a murder happens, and a body is discovered. And a policeman starts investigating. But where did the murder happen? And who was the girl who was murdered? And why was she killed? The novel has a lot of promise, but sadly, what do you really do with a story like this? It doesn't deliver on this promise.

4. Evening Class by Maeve Binchy (audio) - Another fine, sprawling novel by Maeve Binchy. She is totally the master of multi-character epics set in Ireland. This one centers around a group of people taking an evening class to learn to speak Italian. It's an improbable mix of people, each taking the class for a different reason.

5. Le Divorce by Diane Johnson (audio) - There's a movie of this novel that's better than the book, which is rare. Just watch that.

6. The Twins of TriBeCa by Rachel Pine (audio) - A fun tell-all about Miramax studios. Again, pretty light and fluffy, but a fun read.

7. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson - You all already know how much I love this trilogy, but this was such a great ending to the story. I was really worried, because Larsson passed away in the middle of writing the series, and had so much more planned. But this book really wraps things up nicely. The bad guys get theirs and the good guys...well, I can't tell you what happens, now can I? Suffice it to say that although I'm disappointed that there won't be a ten book series as Larsson was planning, the trilogy is satisfyingly complete as it stands now.

8. Barrel Fever by David Sedaris (audio) - I've never been a huge David Sedaris fan, but finding his stuff on audio books has changed that. He does all his own recordings and his essays are so much funnier when he reads them. With that said, though, Barrel Fever was my least favorite of his books on cd. That's because it's half essays and half stories and I just don't find his stories funny at all. They're too weird for me.

9.The Calling by Inger Ash Wolfe (audio) - OMG, this book was so good. It was so good I went to the used book store and bought the print book before I finished listening to the cd's because I had checked it out from the library and I couldn't stand the thought of returning it. I lucked out and the used book store had a copy for like $4. I wrote about it before, here, and I will be writing more about it, because it has launched me into book detective mode (don't laugh - it's just for my own amusement). The story is about a serial killer who is traveling across Canada stopping in small towns killing terminally ill people who have contacted him and requested his services. A Detective Inspector, who is the acting police chief in one of those small towns, catches on to what he's doing, and starts to track him. Her name is Hazel Micallef, and she's 61, divorced, needs back surgery, and lives with her mother, the former mayor of their small town. Seriously, I cannot say enough good things about this book, and the sequel cannot be published in America fast enough to suit me. Patience, I does not has it.

10. The Calling by Inger Ash Wolfe - Um yeah, I read the print book immediately after I finished listening to the cds. And was disappointed when I finished it. SO SO GOOD.

11. Just One Look by Harlan Coben (audio) - Another twisty, turny great novel by Harlan Coben. In this one, a woman picks up some pictures from the photo developers, and an old photo is stuck in the middle of her roll. It's a shot of five people in their early twenties, and one of the guys looks a lot like her husband. But when she asks her husband about the picture, he says it isn't him. Then, he gets in their minivan and drives away, despite the fact that it's 11:00 at night. When he doesn't come home for 2 days, she starts to investigate.

12. When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris (audio) - Much better than Barrel Fever because there are no stories, this is a delight. On each disk of this book, there was at least one essay that had me in tears I was laughing so hard. Absolutely terrific.

13. Graceland by Chris Abani (audio) - I don't even know how to describe this mess of a book. It's set in Nigeria, and contains many horrors that you might expect a book set in Africa to have. Then, there's childhood rape, sodomy, drug running, human smuggling, and just lots more horror. Maybe it was the fact that I listened to it during the holidays, but I just couldn't take it. Add to that the fact that the author kept trying to sing background music and other random bits of song, which was just distracting, and the fact that the book has a complete cop-out ending, which had to have been set up from the beginning, because it's a play on one of the characters' names.

14. Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris (audio) - Really awesome. Contains the uber-famous Santaland Diaries, which are great. Very short, but very very funny.

15. The Blind Assassin by Maragret Atwood - I have so much to say about this book that I don't even know where to start. The story is great, and the characters are even better. The focus is on Iris and Laura Chase, sisters and the lives and choices they make. The structure of the novel is unusual, beginning with Laura's death, which may or may not have been intentional, then plunging into The Blind Assassin, a novel written by Laura before she died and published by Iris after Laura died. Interspersed with chapters from the novel are newspaper articles about the deaths of Iris' husband Richard and daughter Aimee. Finally, after several more chapters of the novel-within-a-novel, Iris begins narrating. I absolutely loved this novel and I will be writing more about it very soon.

16. Grave Sight by Charlaine Harris - A change from the True Blood series, this series seems a little more serious. Harper is a weaker character, more reliant on her brother than Sookie is on anyone. Still, a mostly fluffy read.

17. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood - A creepy, semi-apocalyptic tale (paging Shauna!) that still manages to retain its human element. In the future, all second (and up) marriages have been declared illegal, and broken up. The women from those who have had children have been placed in well-to-do homes as handmaids to produce children for the wealthy men and women who can't have children. Which means that they live in these homes and have sex with the husband of the family once a month, hoping to get pregnant. This, of course, makes them tremendously popular with the wife of the family. *snort* And the man. And, basically, everyone. So it's not very cheerful, but it does retain its humanity. And it has a compelling plot, so there's that. I really liked it, and I didn't really expect to. I liked The Blind Assassin better, but a lot of that is character development.

18. Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout - In structure, this book is unusual because it is 13 stories instead of one big novel. It reminded me of Spoon River Anthology, in the way that each story was about someone different, or a family (the English majors love me now!). Through it all is Olive Kitteridge and her long-suffering husband, Henry. Some stories are directly about them, but most are at least in part about someone else, and only peripherally about Olive and Henry. And I think I've said how much I loved this novel.

2010-01-11T07:05:00.000-08:00

Jess' comment on my last post really got me thinking, and I wanted to write a longer response, not just to her, but in general. I found the novel Olive Kitteridge very relatable because it opens when Olive is in her mid-forties, long married to Henry, with a teen aged son, Christopher. This setup is not too far from where I hope to be in about 10 years or so. Olive is more volatile, more demanding, moodier, and more bitchy overall than I am (in fact, in the first few stories, I related more to her husband, Henry, than I did to her). However, one of the lessons that Olive needs to learn is how she takes people for granted, how she demands that people obey her whims, how she bosses people around based on her moods. And one of the lessons that I am struggling with is how I am unintentionally thoughtless. How my poor planning or lack of planning leaves other people without choices. This is not intentional behavior, but the results are the same. And so, seeing how Olive reaches old age with her relationships destroyed because of illness and her own stubbornness, really affected me. I do not want to end up where she ended up. And so change should start now. I realized last year that taking people for granted and assuming that they would always be in my life was a bad habit, and I worked to break it in regard to my friends. I strengthened the friendships I had, and renewed some old friendships. Last year, my resolution was to be a better friend, and I accomplished that. I have several close friends now, whereas last year at this time, I felt like I really didn't have any. I want to continue that, because I know how important that is. But now, it's time to realize that I have to do the same with my family.

And I said this in my comment, but I really think that if I had read this book 8 years ago, when Rock and I had been together for 2 years or so, that I would have just shrugged, thought it was a good book, very well written, but nothing more. Because I wasn't working on personal development, because my husband and I weren't quarrelling over the fact that I'm inconsiderate, because we hadn't been together for ten years and worn the rough edges off our marriage and were down to working on the fine points. (And please don't take that as a dig, anyone who hasn't been married very long. I just remember that in the beginning, there were The Big Issues, which were external to the two of us. And now, there are the Fine Points, which are just as big, but they are internal. But we still work together to solve them.)

My New Year's Resolution

2010-01-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

Over the holidays, I read the novel Olive Kitteridge, which I think has changed my life. I know it's early days to be saying that, but it really feels that way. I feel like Scrooge after Marley's ghost leaves. I've been visited by the Ghost of Old Lady Regret and it has made me a better wife. That's what the story is about. Olive is a moody, difficult, sometimes bitchy woman. She has a sweet, long suffering husband husband named Henry, and she doesn't appreciate him. And in the end, after all they go through, she regrets the fact that she didn't appreciate him. The last page of the novel left me with tears running down my face. I took it to Rock, intending to read it to him (that's what we do, even though we read wildly different books), explained the basic set up that he needed to know to understand what I was going to read, read the first two sentences and then dissolved into tears so hard that I couldn't continue. I just handed him the book and said, "Here, just read the last page." He read it, then looked at me, and said, "And what does that mean to you?" And I flung myself into his arms, sobbing, and said, "Appreciate my good husband now." And since then, I've turned over a bit of a new leaf. I'm working to be more considerate of Rock and the children. I can be a bit of a spoiled princess. I was an only child. And my parents are completely inconsiderate. My mother because there's something wrong with her. My father because he's allowed to be. First by his parents, then by society. It's time to break the cycle and do something different. In the last few weeks, Rock and I have gotten closer. As I've been nicer and more considerate, so has he. It's true, you reap what you sow. The other day, something was said about bras (I don't really remember how that came up in conversation), and I was lamenting the fact that I only have one really comfortable bra. He told me to go buy another one just like it and I complained that I had been looking for one, but was having trouble finding it because I wanted a particular style and there weren't many available. I didn't really expect him to have much interest, but I told him that I was looking for a racerback style and then pulled up my shirt to show him. "Oh! You want a Y harness instead of an H harness!" he said. And I stopped and laughed, and said, "yeah. I do." See, he was a paratrooper. And parachute rigs come in Y harnesses and H harnesses, so he actually understood exactly what I meant about bra straps. Where bra straps meet parachute rigs, that's where my marriage lives. And where I want it to stay. That's my New Year's resolution.

Product Updates

2009-12-29T13:29:00.000-08:00

The lipstick from the holiday party was DuWop in Private Red, which when asked about it at the party, I replied, "It's BeBop!" (I was on my third glass of wine at this point. Also, I am Old and Out of Touch.) One of my friends corrected me and said, "Do you mean DuWop?" I waved my hand and said, "DuWop, BeBop, something or other." Then I got it out of my purse and lo, she was right. Anyway, I put Smashbox sheer gloss over it to give it shine and together they really looked good. They were both from the Sephora Favorites box in this post, which I bought precisely hoping that it would contain a holiday party red lipstick, so score again Sephora! I've tried almost every lipstick in the box and found two that are just fantastic, like people stop me and compliment me, and one that's a little dark but not bad, and then the clear Smashbox gloss that can go over everything or be worn by itself, so I would call that a success. I'm still working my way through the moisturizer box. I've only tried two because the little samples last so long. The Korres, which I loved, was unfortunately too oily for everyday use on my skin. It smelled like heaven, though, so if you're not a total greasepit like me, you might give it a try. It is "wild rose" scent, and I promise you that it does not smell like anything your grandmother would wear. I thought it smelled like kind of spicy roses. Rock thought it smelled like red hot candies. (He's a romantic. No, you can't have him.) I adored it, but if I used it more than one day in a row, it made my face break out. I've moved on to Philosophy's Hope in a jar. Smells like butt; seems to work. This week will be its ultimate test. I've been using it every day since Saturday (no makeup for a whole week! WHEE!) so we'll see how my skin looks at the end of the week.

Happy New Year everyone! I will be partying it up! (By this I mean, eating too much and sleeping late, of course. See Old, above.)

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-22T14:31:00.000-08:00

I had a big long update planned for today, but now it's 5:30 and I need to run a few errands on the way home. So here's a brief update.

The endoscopy went well, but I'm waiting to meet with the doctor to hear the results. Could be some serious changes. I'm doing my own little "scientific" experiments. "if I eat this, how do I feel?" "if I don't eat that, how do I feel?" So far, it's been interesting. And yeah, has proven that I definitely did not attend medical school.

I finished reading The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood, which I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED, LOVED. I will have MUCH more to say about this once I have more time.

Our office holiday party was last week and I finally found the perfect red lipstick after a four year search. I got so many compliments on it that I had to get it out of my purse to show people what brand it was. So you know it was good. In fact, here's a picture.

I'm thinking of sending out New Year's cards. I really wanted to send Christmas cards, but I've pretty well missed that deadline. So I think I'll just take a cute picture of the kids over the holidays and find a good card and send them out next week for New Year's. That's acceptable, right?

Happy Holidays to all! Today is my last work day for this week, so I'll be spending the rest of the week resting, doing a little last minute shopping, and opening gifts with my kids! Oh yeah, and eating way too much food.

Whiny Friday

2009-12-11T06:18:00.000-08:00

So I have to tell you guys what's going on with me today so I can whine about it. I'm having an endoscopy done so that my doctor can figure out why I have constant heartburn and acid reflux. They're going to sedate me, which I hate, but then they're going to stick a tube down my throat and look around and I certainly don't want to be awake for THAT, so I'll take sedation, thankyouverymuch. I'm sure everything is fine, and I'll just have take Prilosec or the Wa!-Mart version forever or whatever, but I can only drink clear liquids until 11:30 this morning and after that I cannot have anything. I cannot eat anything at all today. No, let me whine about that in all caps, because I am starting to get hungry. I CANNOT EAT ANYTHING TODAY. Whine.

Okay, moving on to books because I need to distract myself. I've had a couple great emails lately from girls to whom I sent copies of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo who loved it! That is my favorite part of sharing a book with a friend - hearing that she loved it, too. Have you read anything great lately? Tell me about it!

Probably Hypothetical Question

2009-12-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

Would it be too much to ask for someone, anyone, who has not seen me in quite some time, to greet me with the phrase, "You've lost some weight!"?? Because I have, damnit! I am officially into the next size down in pants, which is two sizes down from where I started, because I wore the previous size until I looked like a stuffed sausage.

I thought for sure the nurse at the doctor's office would say something the other day, when I climbed onto the scale and my weight was actually measured and recorded RIGHT NEXT to last year's weight, and I'm not sure how much less than last year's weight it was, but at least ten and potentially even 15 pounds less, and that right there warrants a compliment or at least a comment, bitch.

And then today? I had lunch with a friend who hasn't seen me in two months. And did he greet me by commenting on my weight loss? No, no he did not. And while it might be a little irrational to expect someone whom YOU greet with, "God, you look scruffier every time I see you." to return the greeting with a compliment, I still say he could have pulled it off. (And he does look scruffier every time I see him.)

Quarter Three in Books

2009-12-03T07:52:00.000-08:00

What? Q3 only ended two months ago. You do not come here for timely news (thank God). So, here is what I read (and listened to, as that is quickly starting to outnumber the books I've read) in the third quarter and what I thought about them.

1. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See - Very atmospheric Asian novel about two little girls who are friends growing up, have a fight and stop being friends. Good, but kind of mild. The misunderstanding that led to them to not speak for so long was a little lame, in my opinion.

2. The Reader by Bernhard Schlink (audio) - Oh, the main character in this annoyed me to no end. And I saw the "surprise" ending coming a mile off. And now I really don't want to see the movie, which I very much wanted to see before, and I absolutely love Kate Winslet. I don't know that I would go so far as to say that I didn't like it. Well, yes, I think I will. I didn't like it. I didn't like the main character - I thought he was a spineless wimp who made some really inexplicable, indefensible decisions. And Kate Winslet's character was woefully underdeveloped. We do not understand why she does one single thing that she does. Ever.

3. Here on Earth by Alice Hoffman - Horrible, horrible book about a woman who willfully gets into an abusive relationship with a man she dated in her past. She leaves a stable marriage for this man! Against the advice of her daughter and all her friends. And then proceeds to totally not notice when he cuts off the phone and gathers up all the mail. Yes, she just DOES NOT NOTICE that the phone doesn't work at all and no mail ever arrives. Even though people tell her that they tried to call and that they mailed her invitations and other things. One of the stupidest books I've ever read. I'm sorry; I rarely criticize books that harshly, but it's true. I think I bought this book for a dollar from a vineyard on the farm tour last year. Yay, I'm so glad I didn't really pay for it.

4. A Place of Hiding by Elizabeth George (audio) - I had very high hopes for this because I loved What Came Before He Shot Her so much, but I was really disappointed in this one. It's a murder mystery, and it seemed to me that George really hadn't figured out who the murderer would be before she finished writing the book. Then, as she worked through the plot, she eliminated possible suspects one by one. Upon reaching the end, she realized that she had actually eliminated all possible suspects and had now left herself with no plausible murderer. At which point, she returned to her first, not really plausible, suspect and concocted a terrible not-at-believable motive. There is a good sub-plot with a friend of the murder victim and his aged father. That is this book's only redeeming feature.

5. When Will There Be Good News by Kate Atkinson - This is the third novel by Kate Atkinson to feature Jackson Brodie, private detective, who is an awesome and tremendously likable character, and this one is far far better than One Good Turn (the second book), which I thought was very disappointing. Like Case Histories, the novel that introduced Jackson, Good News weaves together several seemingly unrelated crimes and mysteries. Jackson's tangled and tortured personal life gets drug in, too, of course, as the poor man can't figure out how to have a relationship with a woman. I really liked it, as you can definitely tell.

6. The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman (audio) - And here is where I gave up on Alice Hoffman. Ice Queen is the story of a weird girl who wishes that her mother would die in a fit of anger one night and of course, her mother is killed in an auto accident that evening. Later in life, she wishes to be struck by lightning, and gets that wish as well. After that, she falls in love with a man who isn't quite what or whom he seems to be and works to alienate or not alienate her brother and sister-in-law, she can't quite decide which she wants. A very weird character and a very weird book. My final opinion of Hoffman is that she is a very uneven author who doesn't mind at all if her plots are heavy-handed or, y'know, believable.

7. The Tiger Rising by Kate DiCamillo (audio) - A cute and almost whimsical tale of a boy who is tormented by bullies at school, lives in a run down motel with his dad, then gets to stay out of school for a time, meets a little girl and goes for walks in the woods where he finds a tiger in a cage. Things kind of go downhill from there, but it's still a cool little story.

8. A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby (audio) - I absolutely loved this book. It was one of the few audio books that I kept. Four random strangers meet at a tall building on New Year's Eve, each planning to commit suicide. They talk each other out of it for that night, but what comes after that? Very funny, very human.

9. What Comes After Crazy by Sandi Kahn Shelton (audio) - Maz, daughter of a psychic, struggles to get her life together after her husband runs off to New Mexico. Then, just when she's getting it together, he comes back. And her mother comes to visit. A little too "zany". It's funny, it just tries a little too hard.

10. The Final Solution by Michael Chabon (audio) - I love Michael Chabon (author of Wonder Boys, and the absolutely fabulous, Pulitzer Prize winning The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay), so that means that what I'm about to say pains me greatly. The Final Solution is a mystery that features a very old, formerly very famous detective who is supposed to remind you very strongly of Sherlock Holmes. Maybe it's this, because I tend to find all things connected with Sherlock Holmes deadly boring (although I VERY MUCH want to see the upcoming movie - Robert Downey Jr. couldn't be boring if he tried!), or maybe it's just this book itself, but I was bored to tears. I had bought the book years ago, when it first came out, and read the first chapter or so, and couldn't get into it. So I picked it up on audio book, acknowledging the fact that I will probably never go back and read the actual book. The audio book is nearly as boring as the print book, I'm sad to say. It's about a lost parrot. And that's about it.

11. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson - Yes, I re-read it when the second one came out. What of it? I understood the financial stuff this time around, so who's laughing now? I still love it just as much as I did the first time around.

12. The Girl Who Played With Fire by Stieg Larsson - What? You're sick of hearing about how much I love this trilogy? Okay, okay. I will just say that the cliffhanger ending on this one just about killed me dead. And that at one point, I threatened to fly to Sweden, dig up Stieg Larsson, and kick his ass. Then, a few pages later, I forgave him. (I should really get out more, shouldn't I?)

13. Promise Me by Harlan Coben (audio) - Please, please tell me you all read Harlan Coben and I don't need to tell you how wonderful he is. This book was read by the author, which was a treat, because he has a warm, rich, deep voice with a nasally NE accent. He sounded like a big, New England teddy bear which was the perfect sound for his character, Myron Bolitar. In this novel, Myron makes two high school girls promise him that they will call him if they are ever in trouble and need a ride home. He will come get them, no questions asked, and not tell their parents. Which, as we all know, is a tremendously dangerously offer to make to high school girls. Of course one of them takes him up on it. And then vanishes. Coben tends to write twisty, turny, smart books. I've read and listened to four or five now and loved every one.

14. Who By Fire by Diana Spechler - Clever title, lackluster plot. Screwup girl goes to Israel to bring home her uber religious brother. Their mother gets taken in by a con man. Overall, a very forgettable novel.

15. The Last Summer of You and Me by Anne Brashares (audio) - This book hinged on one of those "if the two people had only talked for about 1.5 seconds this misunderstanding wouldn't have happened" plot points that absolutely infuriates me. I hated it with the fire of 10,000 suns.

16. Tara Road by Maeve Binchy (audio) - Out of the 19 discs, more of these were messed up than were not (I checked it out from the library.), yet I still loved it irrationally. It is a huge, sprawling novel that follows Rea over the course of her life, from young woman working in an office and meeting Danny, to marrying and having children, to well, you'd just have to read it, now wouldn't you? Along for the ride are her friends and family, all interesting and well-developed characters in their own rights. I so wish there was a sequel. That says a lot, doesn't it? 19 discs and I wish there was more.

17. Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding (audio) - Um, I know that this was the book that started the whole "chick lit" phenomena and all, but I really wasn't impressed. Way too predictable. Way to yell-y and loud. And I didn't really like Bridget all that much.

18. Loving Frank by Nancy Horan - Discussed here. If you don't want to click, mildly interesting history with a pretty shocking ending. Overall, disturbing.

19. Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner - Smart chick lit. Really, really liked it. Two friends, road trip, what's not to like?

20. Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris - First of the Sookie Stackhouse/ True Blood books. Really fun, very campy. No heavy lifting here, but for mindless fluff, you really can't go wrong with the True Blood crew. Decent mystery, good characters.

Christmas Carols

2009-11-24T05:50:00.000-08:00

Well, lest anyone think I'm a total Scrooge, let me just say that there is quite a bit of Christmas music that I like and a few Christmas carols that I like so much that I will stop and listen to them no matter how early I hear them. Yes, Annoying Co-worker has Christmas music playing again. She stopped last week, but I think the fact that it is now Thanksgiving, and a short week, has given her a new lease on Christmas spirit. She turned the Christmas music back on yesterday and it looks like it's here to stay this time. Oh well. At least it's a short week.

Since I was raised in church, I tend to like my Christmas music religious and choral. As the great Bing Crosby sings in "The Christmas Song", "Christmas carols, being sung by a choir" - yes. That is the way it is supposed to be. (Side note - you may notice in this post that I often cannot remember the proper name of Christmas carols. I do a lot of "that one that goes 'chestnuts roasting on an open fire'". Part of it is that I have a lousy memory for song titles and part of it is that I kind of avoid Christmas music as much as I can.) Anyway, I like most church Christmas carols. In fact, I can't think of any I don't like. "Joy to the World", "Silent Night", "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem", "Gloria in Excelsis Deo". Open a church hymnal to the Christmas section and I would be perfectly happy singing any of those songs. (Random fact - On not just Christmas carols, but most well-known church hymns, I can often sing more than one verse from memory. I can do almost all of Amazing Grace. And I have not set foot in a church in over ten years.) Also, one thing about me that you cannot get over a blog - I love to sing and I have a pretty good singing voice. Singing hymns was my favorite part of church and really the only thing I miss. I was in the choir and always in a Christmas program of some form. So I have sung Christmas carols a lot. That's the other hard part about listening to Christmas music - I REALLY want to sing along. When I lived with my mom, we had a deal. I would play the piano and sing while she decorated the Christmas tree. (I hate to decorate the Christmas tree. She can neither play piano or sing.)

Other than church Christmas carols, there are a few Christmas carols that I really love. "The Christmas Song" (that's "chestnuts roasting on an open fire", right?), "Carol of the Bells" ("hark, how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, throw cares away"), "Mary, Did You Know?" (favorite line - "When you kiss your tiny baby, you kissed the face of God." I think this is true of every baby, not just Jesus. I certainly feel that way about my babies.) "What Child Is This?"

And then there are just the fun Christmas songs. "Step into Christmas" by Elton John. "Happy Christmas" by John Lennon. And the guilty pleasures. The funny Christmas songs - "The 12 Pains of Christmas", "Merry Christmas from the Family" by Robert Earl Keen". The one that makes my husband cringe, but that I own on cd and will proudly admit that I play well into January - "Last Christmas" by Wham!

Random

2009-11-19T11:35:00.000-08:00

So I've been in a swirl of "too much to say/ not enough to say/ these things are hopelessly unrelated". We've all been sick AGAIN GAH WHAT THE HELL is up this year?! We got over the flu, then got the stomach flu. Got over the stomach flu and now have terrible colds. Just wake me up in May, 'KTHX? I don't even LIKE Christmas all that much. After Halloween, it's all downhill to me. And one of my co-workers is one of those super-Christmas spirit types. My least favorite co-worker, no less. For reals, yo. The other day, she had Christmas music playing out in the main office area. I was out there to talk to someone else for a few minutes and I looked around and said, "If we have to listen to fucking Christmas music from now until Christmas, I will probably go postal. The only thing that will keep me sane is having my own office and my own radio." (I have both. I will be known as the Office Scrooge or the Office Grinch by Christmas. I have no problem with either title. I own both movies.) She's already reading Christmas books. Meanwhile, I'm listening to an absolutely phenomenal book on cd about a serial killer who kills terminally ill people. I think it's safe to say I'm this girl's polar opposite.

The serial killer book is The Calling by Inger Ash Wolfe and it's so good that I bought it at the used bookstore the other day before I even finished listening to it on cd. Apparently, Inger Ash Wolfe is a pseudonym for a well-known North American author. He or she must be a Canadian author, because the book is set in Canada and the author seems very familiar with Canadian police procedure, geography, etc. I don't really care if the author wishes to remain anonymous, the only thing that frustrates me is that I would totally buy and read more books by this author RIGHT fricking now if they were available. This is going to be a series, and there is a second book, The Taken, which is available in Canada, but that doesn't help me much, now does it? (Okay, yes, technically, I could order it on the Internet, but I'm trying to curb that habit.) I can't seem to find a US publishing date for it. Whine. Patience is not at all my strong suit.

We finally watched the Clue movie! It is very entertaining! I loved the three possible endings. It's rated PG, so while I wouldn't say it's a "kids movie", there isn't really anything objectionable in it. Most of the "double entendres" flew over my kids' heads and even the murders are pretty tame. Very entertaining for all of us. Thanks for the recommendation, Malnurtured Snay!

Snippets

2009-11-09T13:57:00.000-08:00

Ooh, wasn't BlogShare fun! I love hearing other people's secrets!

Some snippets from my life recently....

Took Supergirl to see Where the Wild Things Are yesterday and we both loved it. I was really wondering how they were going to make a picture book with very few sentences into a full-length movie, but they managed it beautifully. They added a lot, of course, as I expected, but it all felt very true to the story. I would have added one scene at the end, but that's just me. It was visually gorgeous, of course.

I finished The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest over the weekend and it was awesome. My biggest fear was, since Larsson had planned more novels in the series, that this one would not have a decisive ending. That it would leave the story hanging, the way the previous two had. I am so pleased to say that I was wrong - this book very neatly ties up all loose ends. The story could continue, sure. The main character is still alive and will do more and there is more that we could learn about her. But the story can end here satisfyingly.

On Friday night, we taught Supergirl to play Clue. Since then, she has been obsessed. We have played Clue every spare second of every day. What's funny is how differently we play when just Supergirl and I play versus when Rock joins in. Rock, being former military, is very strategic. In fact, it took me three or four games to figure out that if I went to a room that I had the card for, I could make them show me a person or weapon card. Since then, I've found myself trying out different ways of controlling the different variables and making them show me certain cards. I caught myself strategizing Clue in the shower this morning.

Perhaps the 7 year old isn't the only one obsessed, is what I'm saying here...

BlogShare 2009

2009-11-05T05:55:00.000-08:00

Every year, -R- at And You Know What Else runs Blog Share, an event in which all the participants write an anonymous post. The posts then get mixed up and sent to different participants and posted anonymously on someone else's blog. So, I wrote a post and sent it to -R-, she forwarded it along to someone else, and they are posting it today. Someone else wrote the post you are about to read, sent it to -R-, and she sent it along to me to post today. Feel free to leave comments for today's guest poster, he or she knows that his or her post is going to be posted here and I'm sure would love to hear your feedback. For more information and a complete list of participants, visit And You Know What Else. And now, please enjoy our anonymous guest post for Blog Share today....

I'm considering have an affair.

It's hard for me to even see the letters written down, but there it is. My life is not fulfilling for me anymore, but no one would ever know looking at the outside. From the outside, we are a very happy, well balanced family. We both work full time, we have 2 amazing children and own a beautiful house. People are always telling me they don't know how I do it. And of course I smile and laugh it off. But I'm NOT laughing. I'm SCREAMING on the inside and no one can hear.

People see me as the one who takes care of my family. Meals are always on time, my house is always clean and my children are happy. My spouse never has to do any domestic chores because I stay up late to take care of it so there is always time for our children.

But I want ME time. I want to be able to curl up with a book and not worry about anyone. I can't remember the last time I did. I'm tired and I want to be pampered. There is a person in the building that I work who has been dropping some not too subtle hints, and I think I'm going to encourage them. I cannot break up my family unit, but I want to be happy. This seems like the only way to do it.

Not Winning Mother of the Year This Year

2009-10-30T12:51:00.000-07:00

Monday night, I took Supergirl to Target. On our fairly short list was the movie Clue. (A Halloween recommendation from Malnurtured Snay.) We wandered the entire movie section looking for it. As we wandered, Supergirl was drawn to another movie. Not Hello Kitty, or Barbie, or anything else appropriate for a seven year old girl, oh no. Not my daughter. No, she was drawn to the Snoop Doggy Dogg movie. Yeah, the one with "Pimping" written across his forehead. Which she promptly started sounding out. And turned to me and said, "Mommy, what's this word? Pii, piim, piiimp..." Oh. My. Hell. I had about 3.2 seconds to distract her with, "You don't need to know that word, honey. Look over here!" Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Seriously, HOW did a simple trip to Target involve the word PIMPING?" and "Rock is so going to kill me if she comes home from Target and her new word is pimping!"

The other night, I had Wildman convinced that he had a tail. We were having some discussion about animals and how animals had tails and people don't. And I said, "Except some people. Like you kids. You both have tails. You got them from me. I have a tail, too. Tails run in my family. They don't run in your daddy's family." Rock snorted at that one. I'm kind of "that person" in my family - I say weird things to see if the kids will believe me. Supergirl is too old, she doesn't believe my wild stuff anymore. Wildman is still a little susceptible, though. We ran around for a while, shouting about having tails. Then, he decided that he didn't really have a tail and that was pretty much the end of it. Just another way I'm trying to warp my kids.

Both Sides Now

2009-10-19T06:58:00.000-07:00

Whew. Sorry for disappearing again. Things have been crazy around here. We've had the flu - not swine flu, I don't think, since it was very mild and only lasted a few days. But we passed it around the house, of course, and there's just not much more depressing than seeing sickness work its way through your children and knowing that you're next and there's just nothing you can do about it. But we lived through it, obviously. And Rock and I were locked in a fight for about a week or so and there were days, I swear, in which I didn't know who I liked less, him or me. And I wanted to change my life, my job, my friends, my family, I wanted to tear it all down with a wreaking ball. And I felt so envious of people around me. They were doing so much more than I was! They were going on trips! They were going back to school! And then. I read blogs. And Hot said, I don't know how other people do more than just work and come home and collapse. And Kalisa wrote a post about feeling unsatisfied and about appreciating the life she had. And I started to breathe a little easier. Because it wasn't just me. I wasn't going crazy, my life didn't suck. I hadn't screwed it all up and should scrap it all and start over. (No, I really didn't believe that one, either. But it kinda felt that way a time or two.) But somehow, it started to ease up. Hearing that other people felt the same way from time to time helped. And I don't know what it was and why I felt so unsatisfied. Or why it passed. But I'm so very grateful that it did. Focusing on my life and the things that were going right helped. Because there is a lot going right. Things at work are going well. Of course I can't tell you much, but I've had a few little successes and little successes are always very buoying. I've had a couple days off, too, which always help me get a little more perspective. And this weekend, I'm heading to Charlotte to get together with a couple girls I've been friends with since college, so that will be a good relaxing weekend. I've lost a little more weight, and I'm very nearly down to the next clothing size and that is making me feel great. I have some small goals on that front and I'm hitting them this time instead of just watching the time go by and wishing I was doing something. It makes me feel more in control of my life, and that's a big step.

Yesterday was my birthday and those of you who know me know that I am like a little kid about my birthday; I love it. I had a great weekend. One of my closest friends took me to the movies and we saw The Informant, which was awesome. I finally got The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. Here's the whole story on that. I had told Supergirl how much I liked that series and how excited I was about the new book and she didn't get the part about how it wasn't coming out here until next spring, so she REALLY wanted to get me that for my birthday. Well, Rock told me about that so when I found out that it could be ordered from Amazon.uk, we decided to make that happen. So then, of course, I ordered it, but then had to wait until my birthday to "get it" from her. Anyway, I spent about half the day yesterday reading it, have read the first four chapters and I already think it is fantastic.

So, life, crazy old roller coaster that it is, is on a upswing right now. One of my dearest friends just had a baby (two days before my birthday!), and things just keep getting better and better.

Adventures in Shopping

2009-10-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday morning, I checked my email and received a invitation to check out Sephora Favorites at Sephora.com. I don't know if these are new or on sale or why they were being brought to my attention, but I clicked on them and on a whim, bought a couple. They're boxed sets of little samples of different types of products (don't worry - I took pictures to help explain). I bought the moisturizer set - it had hope in a jar by philosophy, best skintentions by bliss, one by korres, and several others; a lipstick set; and a pink lipgloss set for Supergirl to play with. Initially, I was worried that the samples would be really tiny - like those little bitty ones they give out in the store. I don't know why I worried about that, but I did. Probably because they were fairly high dollar products for really reasonable prices - all of the boxes were less than $40. I had never shopped on Sephora.com before, but had bought stuff in the store a time or two and liked the atmosphere. My order qualified for free shipping, which as you know always applies to the slowest method of shipping, but I figured, hey, get it to me whenever, Sephora. As I said, I placed the order Thursday morning. Well, it was sitting on my back porch when I got home Friday night. And I live in BFE, North Carlina. Well played, Sephora.com. Well played, indeed. And the boxed sets turned out to be cool as hell. Some of the samples are practically full-sized products! Here is the moisturizer box:

And the samples inside: I started with the Korres moisturizer on the far left, because it is scented with rosewater and it smells divine. I've been using it since Friday night and so far I love it.

The lipstick box:

And the samples inside it. Several of those are nearly full-size! Score!

As you can tell, I am now a full-fledged Sephora fan.

In the "the Internet is a fabulous place" and "the good you do comes back to you" files, remember when I wanted to send care packages to everyone with copies of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo in them? Well, Alice was one of the people who took me up on my offer. When she posted a picture of the small care package I sent her, one of her friends, Malnurtured Snay, commented that it was a good book, that the sequel, The Girl Who Played With Fire, was available in hardcover, and that the third book in the series, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, which won't be published here until next spring, had just that day become available in the UK and he had ordered it from Amazon.uk. SO! I hopped my happy little fingers on over to Amazon.uk and ordered myself a copy of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. Including shipping, which I was worried was going to be expensive, it was about the same price as walking into a bookstore and buying it brand new in hard cover at full price. And it will arrive next week, just before my birthday! Happy birthday to me, from me.

I also stopped at Wa!-Mart over the weekend and bought tampons and the second Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood book, which, as I observed to Rock, go together in a sick kind of way.

What about you? Any retail therapy lately?

Back to Basics

2009-09-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, enough serious topics, let's go back to books. This post will be a three 'fer - the two you guys picked and a bonus.

Loving Frank - Nancy Horan - the winner of the book poll. My biggest question about this book was, "Is it true?" And the answer to that is yes, mostly. Obviously, Frank Lloyd Wright really existed. So did Mamah (pronounced "Maymah") Borthwick Cheney. They really did have an affair. They really did leave their spouses and children and live together in Wisconsin. (Romantic, right?! Just kidding, Wisconsin friends!) Mamah really did divorce her husband. Frank really did not divorce his wife. The why's and thoughts and feelings are conjecture, though based on personal letters. The book is well-written and at first, fairly suspenseful and engaging. It lags in the middle as the main conflict is the newspaper smear campaign that Frank and Mamah face. In fact, I got really bored and almost quit reading it. It picks up again with conflict between Mamah and Frank over finances and then springs a truly shocking ending out of nowhere. Overall - engaging and a piece of history that you would probably never hear about unless you lived in Oak Park, Illinois.

Best Friends Forever - Jennifer Weiner - So many things in just one book. Such a great story of a friendship, gone wrong, and coming back together. I would like to send a copy to my ex-bff with a note telling her how much I still think about her. It makes so many of the same points I've made on here, how the two girls grew up across the street from each other, in each other's lives and house all day, all the time, yet how much they didn't know, didn't see, didn't realize about the other one. There were so many quotes I would like to highlight and send along to Heather. This is what I wish would happen in my situation. Also a story of personal growth, of a woman growing, changing, realizing that she isn't waiting on her life to improve, on a man to rescue her, that she can do it herself. As I'm sure you can tell, I liked it. A lot.

Dead Until Dark - Charlaine Harris - The first in the Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood series. Call me prejudiced, but I will probably never call a vampire series high literature. The True Blood series, however, is good fun. And I already like them approximately 750, 000 times better than the Twilight series (sorry to my Twilight-loving friends!) Reasons why:

The 100 year old vampire isn't a virgin who insists on being married before losing his virginity. Really, a 100-yr-old vampire placing any stock in any human institution is just stupid. I have no problem with religious values, but the last place they belong is in a vampire novel. I would have been less offended if Bella had been the one insisting on being married, but Edward? Please.
Sookie. Dumb name aside, she's a great character. She's independent and can take care of herself, even in a fight. One of the first scenes is her saving Bill from some vampire drainers! But she's not an indestructible kickass and she has no problem calling in Bill when she needs him. *coughunlikeBellacough* She feels no need to go out and make herself roadkill to avoid inconveniencing her precious vampires. (I swear, I was neither Team Edward nor Team Jacob, I was Team Victoria!) Sookie's a virgin, but not for religious reasons. She can read minds and every time she's gotten close to sleeping with a guy, she's heard what he thought about her. Or her body. After hearing what one of my high school boyfriends said about me after we broke up, I was plenty glad I didn't sleep with him. So I can totally see how that would get in the way of gettin it on. (Speaking of gettin it on, Sookie can't read Bill's mind, so they get it on. And on. And on. It's practically a romance novel.)

Anyway, it's a quick read with a good mystery at the heart and fun, quirky characters. Will definitely be reading more of this series.

Things I Would Say On Twitter, If I Had It

2009-09-25T08:45:00.001-07:00

Subtitled: Reasons My Friday Morning Has Sucked.

Things you should not say to a co-worker:

"Oh, I'm sorry. Perhaps you misunderstood. I meant RIGHT MOTHERFUCKING NOW."

Things you should not say to a customer:

"Why yes, I am here to take your abuse. Please continue to be rude and abrasive."
"Actually, I DON'T give much of a shit about your problem. It sucks that you have a problem, but your attitude and rude behavior precludes me from really caring."

Thank God it's lunchtime!

Edited to Add: These are things I thought but did not say. These are not things that were said to me. God, that would have been awful. Sorry for any confusion.

Follow-Up

2009-09-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

So, wow, that was kind of a tailspin at the end of last week, wasn't it? Still pretty screwed up about my mom and my ex-BFF, huh?

BIG thank you to Hyphen Mama, who hit it right on the head with her comment. Here's her comment:
Oh! I just finished reading a book about setting Personal Boundaries (Anne Katherine)... and it talks so much about these kinds of relationships. They totally violated YOUR boundaries, and would you expect that if a new relationship formed that you'd be able to set very specific boundaries with them? If you don't think you can do that (I am SO NOT ABLE TO SET BOUNDARIES!!), then it probably wouldn't work out the way you want. I, too, have several friends who've had to be broken up with over the years.
Trolling FB has made me all kinds of nostalgic to reconnect with them (I even drove past one of their houses a few weeks ago, wondering if I should just stop and say "hi".) It's hard, because we have expectations going into it... and what if it doesn't turn out the way you need it to? It's like breaking up all over again.
I swear I gasped when I read that comment because it was SPOT ON. SPOT ON, people. Boundaries. THAT is what I've been trying to say for so long. THAT is the point I've been trying to get across to those two for 20*mumblemumble*years. Oh my God, that is IT. Boundaries. Wait, let me read that sentence again, "They totally violated YOUR boundaries". Basking in the truth of that. Basking. Basking. Okay, I'm better now. On to part two of that sentence, "and would you expect that if a new relationship formed that you'd be able to set very specific boundaries with them?" No, I do not. And here's why. I tried for years, YEARS, to set boundaries. And they walked right the hello over me. So to answer that question and the question at the end of the last post, no. No, I don't believe I can create a relationship in which personal boundaries are respected.

And then the next paragraph!! Yes, the Facebook nostalgia! It has made me reconnect with several old friends! In most cases, it has worked out really well. But yes, FB makes me want to be! friends! with! everyone!

This is why I put my thoughts out on the Internet. Because when I feel thoroughly confused and conflicted, someone makes a comment like that and I feel like the sun has shone through a stand of trees. Like there's light at the end of my tunnel. Thank you to all of you, my Internet friends. Your support and encouragement has gotten me through my miscarriage and helped me work through some of the tough issues in my past. I really can't say how much I appreciate it.

Rainy Day Women

2009-09-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

I've written here before about my former best friend, Heather. We grew up together. She was the closest I ever had to a sister. But she and my mother always acted like they had to tell me what to do and keep me in line and eventually, I stopped talking to them. Breaking away from Heather was really the test run for breaking away from my mother. I felt, for a very long time, that I would eventually break contact with my mother. Our relationship was never good and as I got older it got worse and worse. Heather would often "report" back to my mother on different things about me. For example, she met Rock a few weeks before my mother did and called my mom on her way home to tell her all about him. I realized that if I ever did break contact with Mom, I couldn't stay friends with Heather. She was my mom's friend, not mine. I tried, in each instance, to let the other person keep the mutual friends. The main reason is that I felt bad about breaking contact and didn't want to inflict more harm by trying to take more friends away. I also didn't want to put any of my friends in the uncomfortable position of choosing between me and Heather or me and my mother, so I tried to just bow out gracefully. I also didn't want to talk about why I was breaking contact, because at that point, I really couldn't put it into words and felt like if I was questioned too closely, I would cave in. So in addition to breaking contact with my mother and Heather, I broke contact with several other friends. Well, yesterday, one of those mutual friends contacted me on Facebook. She and I wrote back and forth a few times, catching up on life. This morning, I saw that Heather had written on her blog last night, "Found a very, very giant trigger of my very own just a short time ago. Former best friend on Facebook. Seeing her face and her words on a mutual friend's wall just triggered a lot. It's a lot more complex than just "seeing her name was triggery", and yet not more complex than that. I'll just leave it at that for now, because I need to not think about the triggery before bed." Very cryptic. And it makes me.....sad. and confused. I wonder what she feels about it. When she says "trigger" I wonder what she means. I wonder what she thinks about when she thinks about me. I know that a lot of her opinion of me is bad. But we had a lot of good times, too. I miss her, a lot. There are so many childhood things that we shared that I don't share with anyone else. I watched Steel Magnolias again recently and I swear, I missed her so bad it hurt. We were Clairee and Weezer. (She was Weezer.) We were going to be friends for life and then be old, bickering, best friends just like those two characters. I want to reach out to her, but I don't want the old friendship that we used to have. We made the mistake that a lot of people who know each other for a very long time make - we thought that we knew everything there was to know about each other. She thought she knew everything about my childhood and my parents' marriage. I thought I knew everything about her family. She told me once that she thought she had been depressed her whole childhood. And I'm sure I smiled and nodded while she talked, but I didn't believe her for a second. Because I had BEEN THERE. I knew her as a child and she wasn't a bit depressed. But maybe she was. Because as close as we were, I didn't know everything about her. If she says she was depressed, then she probably was. But I didn't even stop to give her the benefit of the doubt. I just didn't believe her. And she did the same to me. Is there a way to form a new friendship with someone with whom I have this much history? A different friendship, in which we don't try to fit each other into the roles we played as children? I find myself equal parts hopeful, wanting to try and convinced that it's impossible. Should I reach out to her, try to make peace with my past, try to find a new way forward. Is it possible to create a relationship with her and then with my mother, in which they respect me? Or should I just leave it all alone and try to find a way to co-exist?

Facebook Funnies

2009-09-15T06:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, one of my friends posted "RIP Patrick Swayze...I hate you lung cancer."
One of her friends corrected her, "I hate lung cancer too, but he had pancreatic cancer."

Another of my friends posted, "Come, Lord Jesus, come!"

ETA: One of her friends replied, "Amen and again I say Amen." Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

No, really, please come find me in hell. I'll be the one in the back corner, with the booze.

Books by Quarter

2009-09-11T13:32:00.000-07:00

So, I just realized that I never posted the books I read in the second quarter. I'll be remedying that right now.

1. What Came Before He Shot Her by Elizabeth George - SO SO GOOD. This falls into a subset of books that I love. The ones that warn you, from the title or the basic setup or whatever, that they WILL NOT have a happy ending, but are so beautifully written and make you care so deeply for the characters that you hope and pray for a happy ending anyway. I mean, the title of this book is What Came Before He Shot Her, so you know there's going to be a murder. But the book details a year in the life of a young boy before he commits a very serious crime. The murder in the title doesn't take place until page six hundred and something, so there is a LOT of "What Came Before". (Other great books in this subset - Bel Canto and The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao)

2. Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons - Dark, gritty and not very good.

3. Life Sentences by Laura Lippman - Do you read Laura Lippman? Because you totally should. Her books are fantastic. Life Sentences is about a writer, mining her past for a story to tell. She remembers that a girl she was friends with in middle school went to prison for killing her baby, so she decides to investigate that.

4. Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson - Recommended by Janssen. Completely chilling story of two girls with eating disorders. One is bulimic, one is anorexic. One lives, one dies. The book is excellent.

5. Baltimore Blues by Laura Lippman - This is the first in her series about detective Tess Monaghan and it's great. I plan to pick up the rest of the series and read them as soon as I can.

6. City of Thieves by David Benioff - I saw the movie of 25th Hour, based on his novel, and was very impressed. City of Thieves is good, but has a disappointing ending.

7. The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski - I think the simplest thing to say here is that on Goodreads, there are 142 posts about this book in the Books You Loathed thread. It's not that the novel is bad, because it's not. It's very well written. It's that the author makes some major choices that really anger readers. Including me.

8. The Emperor's Children by Claire Messud - YAWN. Bor-ing.

9. The Dirty Secrets Club by Meg Gardiner - Nowhere near as interesting as it could have been. Good premise, bad delivery.

10. The Ex-Debutante by Linda Francis Lee - Fluffy, fun chick lit. Entertaining.

11. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger - OMG, SO GOOD. I loved it. Loved, loved, loved it. Claire and Henry are one of my all-time favorite couples.

12. The Devil in the Junior League by Linda Francis Lee - Again, fluffy fun chick lit. Very cute, good characters.

13. The Alibi Man by Tami Hoag (audio) - This was the first audio book I listened to. It was a good mystery, although the conclusion is really far-fetched and unbelievable.

Hair Update With Pictures!

2009-09-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

So, Shelly Overlook and Alice both requested hair pictures. I took some in the office bathroom with my new camera phone, which I am still learning how to use. So, please excuse the poor lighting and poor quality of the pictures. And the fact that you really can't tell much about my hair in these pictures. BUT, these are pictures I took just an hour or so ago, and now they are here! Behold, the speed of the Internet.

Hair in front of shoulders, which is usually the best way to show the waves:

View from the back:

What most people see most of the time, hair behind shoulders:

So! There you go - this is my new hairstyle.

State of My World

2009-09-04T06:03:00.000-07:00

You all are awesome! Thanks so much for voting in my book poll. The winner was Loving Frank, so I'll be starting that this weekend. Second place was a tie between Best Friends Forever and Julie and Julia, so I'll start one of them after I finish Loving Frank. (Wait, that sounded dirty.) And I think some of you voted in the comments and not in the actual poll, because several people mentioned Odd Thomas, but it only had one vote in the poll, so I'll put it in the "to read soon" pile.

Random updates on frivolous things I have talked about before:
The too-small purse: Still too small, but I'm kind of making it work. I'm nothing if not stubborn. (And lazy - I really don't want to move all my stuff over to another purse.) It's still a challenge if I want to, y'know, get anything out of my purse, but it looks good and that's all that matters, right?

My hair: I recently made a change I never would have thought I'd be bold enough to try - I'm letting most of my hair air-dry. And going to work. To me, this is scandalous. (Yes, I should get out more.) One of my co-workers did it the other day and her hair is very similar to mine. Long, very wavy, with bangs. She had styled her bangs and let the rest air-dry. It was still wet when she got to work. So I thought, "Hell, if she can do it, why can't I?" So the next morning, I dried my bangs, styled them, sprayed leave-in conditioner on the rest and went to work. No one pointed and laughed, or said, "Really? You couldn't even brush your hair this morning?", so I've worn it that way the last 3 days. I asked a couple of my friends and they've all said it looks good, so I think I've pulled off a major coup here. I don't have to spend 20 minutes straightening and styling my hair every morning. Shhh...don't tell. I do need a good product to make it not be fuzzy, though. That's the only thing that needs improvement on this look. So if you have suggestions, please let me know.

I'm totally in a care package mood right now and I want to buy copies of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and send them to everyone I know, so if you want a copy of the book and a small care package, email me your name and address and I'll put one together for you.

I'm going to a baby shower this weekend for the friend who told me she was pregnant 6 days after my miscarriage. I think it's going to be okay, because I really am to the point where I can be happy, even for her, even though every time I think about her pregnancy in specific it brings back thoughts of my miscarriage. I think since my miscarriage, I've been in a slight depression. Not bad, I really didn't even notice until it lifted last week. I just felt kind of blah, kind of boring and not interested in anything, really. I didn't have anything to say, on here or in person and when I did talk, I felt like all I did was bitch. Last week, I suddenly realized that I felt more awake, more alive and wanted to reach out more. I started posting more here, which I'm really enjoying and randomly decided to send a care package to Shelly Overlook, just because she's always so nice. And I don't say that to brag on myself or anything, just to show how different I feel. I feel lighter and like a fog has lifted. I appreciate my friends and the people around me. So that's another reason why I'm not worried about going to my friend's shower. I think I'm ready.

Poll!

2009-09-02T10:15:00.001-07:00

Okay, I'm floundering around about what to read next, which is rare for me. I think it's because The Girl Who Played With Fire was so good that I can't move on. I want to still be reading IT, so nothing else sounds appealing. I've read one book since I finished it, Who By Fire, which was fine, but I don't think I would have been impressed by it even if it hadn't followed Girl, though that certainly didn't help matters. I have recently been to Barnes and Noble (um, and a local used book store) (um, and the library) (um, and Target) (WHAT? It's not an addiction. I can quit anytime I want.), so I have LOTS of choices. In fact, that's kind of the problem. I have too many books that sound so good that I can't choose which one to read next. Fiona used to have polls asking everyone to pick what she read next and since I always thought that was a good idea (and because I'm a big ole copycat), I'm going to do the same. I've added a poll on the right, under my personal info, of books to choose from. Please vote and please choose two. I would promise that they would be the next two books I read, but some of these are series books and if I love them, I might read the whole series, so the second book might get pushed back....oh, screw it. You know what I mean.

Here are your choices:

Best Friends Forever - the new Jennifer Weiner book. Weiner usually writes whip-smart chick lit and I love her books. This one sounds really interesting.
Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout - this one won the Pultizer last year and sounds really great. It's a book of short stories, all featuring the title character, a retired librarian (I think).
Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz - this is the first in the Odd Thomas series. I picked up the fourth one in the grocery store one day, not realizing that it was the fourth one. I recently bought the first three at a used book store, so I now have the whole series. This series has gotten good reviews from Fiona and Tess, so I am excited to read them.
Julie and Julia by Julie Powell - both book and movie have gotten rave reviews. I also picked up My Time in France by Julia Child, so if it gets picked, I might read it right after Julie and Julia.
Loving Frank by Nancy Horan - is the true story of a woman who had an affair with Frank Lloyd Wright.
Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk - I just love Chuck Palahniuk. He's so weird. If you've never heard of him, he wrote Fight Club.
The Secret Between Us by Barbara Delinsky
Q&A by Vikas Swarup - perhaps you've heard of the movie made from this book, Slumdog Millionaire?

One More

2009-08-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

Tess' comment reminded me of another story:

One time, Rock and I were involved in a situation in which every possible thing was fucked up. He just leaned over to me and quietly said,

"That poor goat."

Reason number 4652.

Scenes From a Marriage

2009-08-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

Reason number 5012 why I married him:
Last night, we went to the Verizon store and got new phones. That's a story in itself, but I don't want to go into into it. Suffice it to say that it was a total goatscrew, but I walked out of there with (nearly) everything I wanted. The rest I can fix online or through customer service. It did cost an arm and a leg and take nearly two hours to resolve, but what the hell right? How else ya gonna spend a Thursday night? ANYWAY, long introduction to say that we were planning to go out to dinner after going to the Verizon store, but after the two hours there, the dinner word of the day was "drive-through" and the price point was "fast food". So we stopped at Wendy's. We placed our order, they told us it would be a few minutes and asked us to pull forward. While we waited, Rock made the comment that they better not give him old, cold fries since we had to wait on our sandwiches. About that time, they brought the food to our car. Rock immediately popped a french fry in his mouth and promptly started gasping in air. I turned to him, smiled sweetly, and said, "What? Didn't get the old fries, honey?" He replied, "If those french fries are old, their previous residence was hell."

Rock and Roll

2009-08-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

Stolen from Hot, because I didn't think I could do it.
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.
Are you Male or Female?
Black Country Woman
Describe Yourself:
Fool in the Rain
How Do You Feel?
Dazed and Confused
Where Do You Live?
Houses of the Holy
If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Down By the Seaside
Favorite Form Of Transportation?
South Bound Saurez
Your Best Friend?
Heartbreaker
Describe you and your best friends:
Good Times, Bad Times
Describe The Weather:
White Summer
Favorite Time Of Day?
Bring it on Home
If they made a TV show of your life, what would they call it?
Hey Hey What Can I Do
What is life to you?
Dancing Days
Describe an ex-relationship:
Livin Lovin Maid
Describe your current relationship:
All of My Love
Describe your job:
What is and What Should Never Be
Your Fear?
Gallows Pole
How would you like to die?
Stairway to Heaven
What is the state of your soul right now?
In the Light
Best Advice?
Your Time is Gonna Come
Thought Of The Day:
The Song Remains the Same
Motto:
Nobody's Fault But Mine

No, I Don't Know Why I Wrote This, Either

2009-08-26T05:10:00.000-07:00

An Ode to My New Purse

This new purse is too small
For all the shit I carry

This makes me sad,
For I love it -
Its fat, round shape
The smell of the new leather,
The fat round shoulder straps
The basic black that goes with everything
The way there's just enough room
Between the straps and the opening of the purse
To still reach into the purse
When it's on my shoulder

I tried to pare down,
Put less stuff in
Only the essentials
But the purse
Is still too full
Stuff bulges out the top

I've carried it for three days now
So far nothing has fallen out
But I think that's just luck
Not a sign that the purse
Will work long-term

WAY Inappropriate

2009-08-24T07:08:00.001-07:00

Well, hello there! Look, I finally remembered my blog. So, how've you been? Your hair looks great - did you get it cut?

Random Celeb/ News Roundup:

That model that was found dead with her teeth pulled out and fingers cut off to slow identification of her body? They identified her by the serial number of her breast implants.
Thieves stole $1 million dollars in jewelry and clothes. They were sophisticated and broke into the store from the roof and covered their faces. But what store did they choose? JC Penney's. Yeah, that wouldn't have been my first choice, either.
Tori Spelling is hawking Q-Tips. No wait! The Q-Tips are in pretty little boxes. Doesn't that make you want to run out and buy them? No? Me either.
Courtney Love posted a picture of herself with a turtle on her head on Twitter. No, I don't know why. Let's look on the bright side - it could have been something way worse. This IS Courtney Love we're talking about. Although that turtle will probably want to take a long hot bath right about now.

BONUS Nerd's Corner: Um, there's a Facebook page for Lisbeth Salander (title character from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played With Fire). I cannot decide if this is cool and I want to friend her, or if it's hopelessly dorky and I should resist the temptation to friend her. Hmmm...to limit my friend list to people who actually exist or not....

Speaking of which, I finished The Girl Who Played With Fire over the weekend and O!M!G! What a great book. Lisbeth Salander could be my favorite heroine of all time. How is it possible that we have to wait until next year to read the next book and how is it possible that Stieg Larsson is dead and there will not be any more books after the third one when he was planning a 10 book series. 10 books, people! Do you KNOW what I would do for there to be 10 books in this series?! I'd..I'd, well, I'd do a lot, that's what.

Random Random

2009-08-06T14:06:00.000-07:00

Nerd out:
Friday night, we went out to dinner. As we got back in the car afterwards, Rock looked at me and said, "I know where you want to go.", grinned, and started driving. I didn't have anything on my mind, so I honestly had no idea where we were going. But I didn't say anything. (Shelly's Rules of Staying Happily Married #1 - Shut Your Mouth. Especially when he's doing something nice for you.) He got on the highway and drove for a few exits. Then, he pulled into the exit lane. I looked over and saw the big shopping center that has a Barnes and Noble. THEN I got excited. Because he remembered. I had told him that The Girl Who Played With Fire (sequel to The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo) was out and that I wanted to buy it as soon as possible, but I wasn't thinking about it right then. But he was. Because he remembered how important it was to me. Such a great guy.

To prepare to read The Girl Who Played With Fire, I'm re-reading Dragon Tattoo. Which would have been more beneficial had I thought of that BEFORE Fire came out. (Will be mercilessly shortening these titles from now on. GD, Stieg Larsson, maybe you could have thought that through a bit more.) Now, I'm just dying to start the new one.

I listened to the BEST book on cd last week. It was A Long Way Down, by Nick Hornby. It was read by three different voice actors, and because it was unabridged it was about 8 or 9 cds long. It was wonderful. In fact, (and I NEVER thought I would say this sentence) I think it was BETTER on cd than in print. Because the characters were so real. And having different voices and personalities made them so real. It had kind of a weak ending, but part of that may have been my disappointment that it was ending.

There are lots of pregnant ladies in the blogosphere right now. Big congrats to Mona, Sarah, Erin (who is having a GIRL!) and Devan (who is also having a GIRL!) And one of my RL friends just posted pictures of his newborn son on Facebook. He's got that stunned, "wow, how did I get HERE?" look and brought to mind Swistle's description of "newborn with bird limbs and woodland-creature eyes". Oh newborns! Sigh. I want one and don't want one in almost equal measure. But I'm to the point where I can be truly happy for others in their pregnancies/births. That's progress, for sure.

MORE on Exerise and Weight

2009-07-30T05:57:00.000-07:00

Y'all, I think this blog is a bad luck charm. Yesterday, after I posted that I had lost weight, I went to lunch and a guy asked me if I was pregnant. Actually, it was worse than that. He asked HOW FAR ALONG I WAS. I kind of coldly said, "I'm not pregnant." He hastily apologized. Then there was an awkward silence. Then he said, "I'm really sorry about that." Longer awkward silence. Finally, I directed the conversation back to the business we were discussing. Yeah. Hate that. I always think to myself, "...and when I get home, I'm going to burn this shirt."
In totally related news, I went to a dance/aerobics class at the gym last night. And I'm going again tonight. I've discovered something interesting about exercise, which will come as a revelation to exactly one person (that person being me). Each person has to find the type of exercise that they enjoy in order to stick with it. For so long, I just tagged along with any of my friends to whatever they wanted to go to, or took whatever class was offered at the apartment complex gym (when I was single and lived in an apartment). I figured that exercise sucked and I hated all of it, so what did it matter if I went to kickboxing or yoga or Pilate's. But then. One of my friends told me about Zumba, which is latin inspired dance/aerobics. I took tap and ballet when I was a kid and I've always really enjoyed dancing. So Zumba sounded like something I'd actually like. And I won't lie to you - the first class kicked my ass. And for the first few months, I seriously thought about leaving at the 30 minute mark. (And sometimes, I still do.) But it's such a great class, and it's structured so that there's a different routine to each song, so every 3 minutes or so, you're doing something different. And somehow, every time I want to leave, one of my favorite songs comes on and I think, "Oh, but I love this one. I'll get back out there." Then, somehow, ten minutes passes and there's only 20 minutes left to go, and well, I can make it through 20 more minutes, because the last 5 or so is the cool down, so it's really only 15 minutes and I can totally do that. And at the end, while I'm tired and sweaty and gross, I feel good. I feel like I've *gasp* had fun, which is a totally new and foreign concept to me when it comes to exercise. And I've tried to tell my workout buddy Carol about Zumba and how I think she would like it, but recently I realized that she wouldn't like it AT ALL. In fact, she would fucking hate Zumba. I figured this out because I often go to her house and take my The Firm dvd and we do the workout together. (It's way easier to work out WITHOUT small children dancing between your feet.) It's half dance-based aerobics and half strength training with weights. Carol HATES the dance sections, mainly because the routine keeps changing. Her comment was, "Just when I get it figured out, she's on to something else!" So yeah, she'd despise Zumba. But the funny part is? I hate the strength training/weights sections. It seems so repetitive and boring to me. So I help her through the dance parts and she helps me through the weight parts. And that's how I figured out that we each have to find the workout we don't hate. Some people are runners and some people are weightlifters and some people are yogis and that's the way things should be. Me, I'm a dancer. (And a swimmer. I went swimming last Friday, and it was awesome. Must. find. pool.) It feels really good to have found something I don't hate.

Time

2009-07-29T06:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, I deleted that last post. I thought about how I would feel if my friend wrote that about me and it would make me want to put my head in the oven. So, thank you all for your advice and comments, but I'd feel really horrible if my friend ever found that, so I took it down.

On to happier topics! I have a weight loss milestone to share with you all. I've debating putting my weight out there, but I've decided that my happiness outweighs (HA!) my embarrassment. If you're horrified by how much I weigh, just don't tell me, 'k? Last Wednesday, I finally broke below the 200 mark! My weight begins with a 1! (Granted, I'm still at about 197, but that's still less than 200, damnit.) I need to step up my workouts and right now that's something I'm struggling with. I have such a hard time finding time to work out. I've mentioned that I commute a hour each way to work, so that lets out working out before work. There is no way I'm getting up any earlier than I already do. (Although, I have thought about getting up a couple minutes earlier and doing a 10 or 15 minute workout. If I can figure out how to do that without waking everyone else up, I may.) I've been going to the mall at lunch and walking a little bit a few days a week. Once a week, I go over to a friend's house and we work out to the The Firm dvds for about an hour. And I go to a Zumba class at the gym one night a week. I guess the real problem I struggle with is laziness. Even just typing all this, I think, "Oh, I don't want to do ANY of that." So tell me, how do you fit in workouts? How do you keep yourself motivated?

Audio Books

2009-07-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

So I recently discovered audio books. Why hello, 20th century! What other marvels will you bring me? No, I don't have an ipod. Or a blackberry, why do you ask? Anyway, back to audio books. They have changed my life. I commute an hour each way to my office, so that's 10 hours in the car every week. Turning that into "reading" time is awesome. It's especially nice in the mornings, when there's no one to call and talk to. I'm on my third audio book and it's so nice to feel like I'm being told a story as I drive to work and home. Here the part where you come in. Please recommend books that you've read recently that I can listen to on my drives. Any suggestions welcome, but especially older books that I can find on cd at used book stores. Thanks!

Litmus Tests

2009-07-13T13:10:00.001-07:00

HA! HAHAHAHA! So Swistle linked to me (YOU KNOW which post!) and suddenly I had tons of new people reading and commenting. I have 50 comments on that one post, which is 25 (!) from other people and 25 from me. Which is the most I've ever had. On a post that, while I thought the situation was very funny, I didn't really want more than my usual handful of people to read. Oh naivete, how fun you were! So! Ah, welcome, to anyone who came for the p0rn and stayed for everything else. Should you, by some horrible chance, know me in real life, or have figured out who my father is, how about you just keep that fact to yourself, mmmkay? I have delusions of anonymity on this blog, so let's don't blow that, 'kay?
Let's move on to less embarrassing facts about my life, shall we?
Last week, I loaned my copy of The Usual Suspects to a work friend. Today, I came in and the movie was on my desk with a post-it note saying, "LOVED it. Thanks!" While I'm thrilled that she liked it, I'm also relieved. Because if she hadn't, it would have damaged our friendship. See, The Usual Suspects is one of my litmus tests for friends. If you hate The Usual Suspects, you and I probably cannot be friends. Another big test is Monty Python. If you hate Monty Python, I will think you are stupid. Not in a mean way; just in a "Oh, you don't get it" way. My ex-BFF hated Monty Python, and for years I couldn't figure out why that made me think less of her. Finally, Rock pointed out that she probably didn't get most of the Monty Python jokes, because she's really not that bright. Mean, yes, but also true. Mike Myer's Austin Powers movies are another one. Yes, there is a lot of juvenile, bathroom type humor in them, and if you can't at least loosen up and laugh a little, I will think you are a tightass. I'm not a crude person, by anyone's standards, but I think the Austin Powers movies are brilliant (esp. Goldmember). I will also hold it against you if you like the really cheesy and awful chick flicks. If Maid in Manhattan or Must Like Dogs is your all-time favorite movie, please do not sit beside me. Okay, this is starting to make me feel like a real asshole, so please tell me I'm not the only one. What are your dealbreakers for friends?

If It Ain't Broke...

2009-07-07T05:41:00.000-07:00

Subtitled: The Un-Brake Problem.
So, on Thursday, my car started making a horrible noise. It was coming from the front passenger tire and started as soon as I backed the car up to leave for work Thursday morning. Rock happened to be up and came out to the back porch when I stopped the car almost immediately and got out to look at the tires. I told him what was going on, he listened to the noise as I backed out of the drive, but since the car was driving fine, I decided to go on to work and deal with the noise later. I talked to Rock most of the way to work, trying to describe when the noise was louder, when it went away, etc. He thought it was probably a wheel bearing. He had me check the tire when I got to work to make sure it wasn't too hot. (I was supposed to check it at lunch, too, but I had the radio up too loud to hear anything then.) It did make the noise most of the way home Thursday night, though. Friday, Rock and I went to out to test the car and see if we could narrow down what the problem was and where we should take it for repairs. We put the car in reverse and it made the noise again, then we dropped it into neutral and let it roll forward. It made the noise again. This time, Rock decided that it must be the brakes. Since it was the brakes, we weren't willing to take the car just anywhere to be fixed. I don't know about where you live, but around here, brake jobs are the single biggest rip-off in car repairs. No matter what, if you take a car in for brake repairs, the mechanic is going to fix the brakes, then tell you that the brake pads were "worn clean through to the rotors" and "It was scraping metal on metal" and that they had to replace the rotors, too. (Please hear this in my best imitation of a redneck drawl.) After hearing this bullshit for three or four brake jobs, I am not interested in being ripped off again. The only place I will take my car for brake repair is the Best Mechanic on Earth. BME lives three houses up from my mom and I've known him since I was 14. His garage is behind his house and his dad lives next door to him. In bad weather or power outages, he rounds up the older neighbors and takes them to his dad's house, where they have a generator. In short, most honest mechanic ever. So, on Friday I called BME and asked him when he could take a look at my car. Yesterday was his earliest appointment, so we dropped the car off Sunday night and he worked on it yesterday. I called him about 5:00 last night to make sure the car was ready. His reply, "Yeah, I think I got ya ready to roll. Ya ain't gonna to believe what was makin that noise. Ya had ya a rock, stuck between the rotor and the brake guard, scraping against both of 'em. I flipped that outta there, and it was fine." We picked the car up last night. Total charge? $28, for the oil change he did.

Update

2009-07-01T05:40:00.000-07:00

Well, the p0rn is no longer coming to my house. Thank God. Apparently, my dad decided to give it to a young, single guy he knows. So my dad will no longer be the king of p0rn. What a relief.

In other news, I have a three hour conference call today that starts at noon. Could this day suck any worse? Wait, don't answer that.

Bow Chicka Bow Wow

2009-06-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

Subtitled: The Post My Husband Doesn't Want Me to Write.
But really. Surreal stuff like this does not happen to me very often, so I have to capitalize on it when it does. On Saturday, I received a very strange phone call from my dad. Seems he had a favor to ask of me.
Little backstory here to explain this request. My dad is a minister. He's at a location in which he has more than one church. One of his churches is not pleased with him. I won't say any more to avoid giving identifying details. Suffice it say, he's in a delicate situation with one of his churches. The other churches support him completely.
So. The favor my dad needed to ask of me. He, ah, wants me to store some stuff for him during the summer. See, it's some video tapes and dvd's and he doesn't want to put them in storage because the heat would ruin them. But he really needs to get them out of his house right now because of the church situation. Yep, you guessed it, my dad wants me to store his p0rn collection. Yes, me - mother of two small children.
But wait - it gets better. See, there's 10 boxes of movies.
My father wants me to store his 10 box p0rn collection. Hold me.
I mean, really, WHO has 10 boxes of p0rn? Oh, wait, that would be my dad.
Before you ask, yes, I will count the tapes. Yes, I will take pictures. Yes, I will post them. Rock is having a field day with this. He says he's going to take pictures and show them to his friends and when they ask what it is, he's going to say, "My preacher father-in-law's p0rn collection".
10 BOXES!
All weekend, we've been playing the, "if they're small boxes and only hold 10 tapes, that's still 100 tapes." "if they're big boxes and hold 20 tapes, that's 200 tapes!" O!M!G!
Rock says he didn't know anyone in the military who had that much p0rn and that my dad would be the p0rn god. That makes me the daughter of the p0rn god. Hold me.

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

2009-06-26T08:37:00.000-07:00

RIP, Michael Jackson

Whatever his personal problems, and God knows he had many, he sure did make some awesome music, didn't he? One of our local stations has been playing Michael almost exclusively this morning, and wow, talk about the soundtrack of my childhood. Thriller came out in 1984 and I was 8. It was the first record I owned. I played it to death, knew every word to every song, and it was all over the radio. There were so many great songs, not just on Thriller, but throughout the '80's and early '90's. "Smooth Criminal", "Bad", "Dirty Diana". Man, it was like taking a walk back through some of my earliest musical memories.

Thank you, Michael, for the music.

Inspiration

2009-06-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

Inspirational quote for the day:

There is something I know about you that you may not even know about yourself. You have within you more resources of energy than have ever been tapped, more talent than has ever been exploited, more strength than has ever been tested and more to give than you have ever given.

From FISH! attributed to John Gardner (may or may not be a real person. I found several in a google search, but none that sounded right.)
I read that quote this morning and it just really struck me. It makes me want to do more with my life. Get out and exercise and lose this annoying weight. Do more with my photography. More that I can't even think of right now. Just more. I've felt bored recently, stuck in a rut. I like my job fine, but I certainly don't leap out of bed excited to come to work. I have plenty of work and a few challenges, but it is a fairly routine job, with the same tasks each week. Rock and I have a good relationship, but it seems like even we are in a rut of sorts. We need new topics of conversation. New things to do to spend time together.

Of the Awk

2009-06-16T06:59:00.000-07:00

Two awkward situations have cropped up recently. First, one of my coworkers, whom I do consider a friend, invited me to join Twitter. Of course, she doesn't know about this blog. Nor do I want her to. So I can either join Twitter with my real name and not mention my blog, or join Twitter but not friend her (or whatever you do on Twitter). So far, I've ignored her invitation and she hasn't asked about it. Whew.

Second, remember this guy? The college boyfriend who wanted to meet for lunch to catch up? Well, he's emailed me randomly a time or two since friending me and is getting progressively weirder each time. The last time, he sent me an email saying that he had had a dream that something bad happened to my father, and just wanted to make sure he was okay. So I wrote back and said, okay, that's pretty weird, yes, my dad is fine. Then, he asked me some questions about kids (he and his wife just had their first), all of which I answered. And can I just say here that I have never, in all my life, had a dream about an ex's father? I thought that was a little suspicious, but whatevs. That was back in April and I hadn't heard from him since. Until yesterday. See, yesterday was his birthday. (Which I wouldn't have remembered except for the little FB notice thingy.) So I left a message on his profile wall saying, "Happy Birthday - hope it's great!", which is my standard birthday greeting for friends. I logged in later and had the following email from him:

"Shelly-I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to wish me a Happy Birthday. I am not quite sure why, but it means a great deal to me that you would do that. I hope that some day you will be comfortable enough to catch up sometime. I would really like that. I think of you and your family so often. My Very Best- [Ex-Boyfriend]"

Oh Lord. WHAT am I supposed to do with this? What does he want? I swear, I want to write back and just say, "WHY? Why do you think of me and my family so often? I don't think about you at all. Ever." And the "comfortable enough" line! I would be perfectly comfortable around him. I just have no interest. I can't begin to imagine what we would talk about. I talked to one of my friends about it last night and she said that he needs closure, but that there's no way that I can provide that for him, so I should cut off contact. What do you think? Is she right? I'm trying to be the kinder, gentler Shelly here and not cut off contact with people just because they piss me off, so I'm hesitant to cut off contact except as a last resort. But if there's truly no way I can help him, I don't want to prolong this any more than it already has been (10 years, people!), so if cutting off contact will help him get closure, then I'll do it.

Any suggestions?

Nerd Out

2009-06-09T10:48:00.000-07:00

Check out this Entertainment Weekly poll of most hotly anticipated book of the summer:
http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/06/must-list-poll-whats-the-must-book-of-the-summer-.html

Jennifer Weiner vs. Stieg Larsson vs. Richard Russo vs. Pat Conroy?! I may have to take to my bed.

As The Uterus Turns

2009-06-03T08:21:00.000-07:00

First things first - Hair update:
Important things I have learned in the past week:

The actual purpose of blow-drying. Before, I thought blow-drying was just to get the water out of my hair. Then I styled it with a curling iron or flat iron to create a "style" (we'll be using that term loosely - this is me we're talking about and nothing about me can be called stylish.) In the past week, though, I have realized that I can use the hair dryer to create the shell of the style I want. In fact, the shell I create through blow-drying is the style I get, regardless of how badly I screw it up. If I don't get it right the first time, I might as well go back to bed and pull the covers up over my head.

The usefulness of leave-in conditioner and straightening gel. Rock uses leave-in conditioner on Supergirl's hair and has always told me I should use it, too. But I've always disdained using any products in my hair, so I resisted. I tried it the other morning and managed to create a curly hair style that stayed all day and didn't get frizzy. Yes, Rock gloated. A lot. And today, I'm trying some old straightening gel that I found in my cabinet and am rocking a straight style. It's after lunchtime and it still looks pretty good, so I suppose I can qualify that as a success, too.

So, I swore (to myself), that I wasn't going to discuss this subject again. But I really can't resist. It does help to write things out. Plus, you guys are awesome and totally supportive and I want to make out with all of you. Yesterday, after a day or two of denial, I counted the days to see if my period was, in fact, late. It is. Today makes three days late. I did this in the middle of the day yesterday which was a terrible idea, because then I spent the rest of the day trying not to freak out at work. Because holy conflicted emotions, Batman! One the one hand, I would be thrilled to be pregnant again. But on the other hand, I would be terrified to be pregnant again. On the third hand, (what? it's just for the sake of argument - no one really has three hands.) I would be annoyed to be pregnant. I would really like to lose some weight before getting pregnant again, and have finally started making some progress in that area, so admittedly, I would be annoyed to have that interrupted. So I would be relieved to not be pregnant, except that I would be disappointed to not be pregnant, because, you know, I WOULDN'T BE PREGNANT. How's THAT for a no-win situation? Or y'know, win-win, cause I'd actually be pretty happy either way. Well, thank god for those cheap, early pregnancy tests, because I took one last night at 10:00 (negative) and then took another first thing this morning (also negative) because I realized that taking a pregnancy test at 10:00 after drinking water all day might not be the most effective way to get an answer to this question. So. Not pregnant, yet no period. Whatevs. At least I know I'm not pregnant so I can stop freaking out. And, y'know, have a glass of wine or two with my friends this weekend.

Snarky Facebook comment of the day (ie. Comment I would like to leave on a friend's status):
If you think of high school as "the best times ever", you probably need to get out more.

Random

2009-05-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have several ideas of things to write about in my head right now, so this will probably end up being one of those really disjointed, bulleted list posts. (You: And that's different from your usual posts HOW?) Lots of bloggers are talking about really interesting things, so I'll piggy back on a couple great posts.

Molly, at Les Cadeaux, asserts that a bad haircut is worse than bad sex. I agree. I have bangs right now, for the first time in years, and I go back and forth on them. Some days, I really like them. They frame my face better and prevent fivehead, which I am way prone to. However, they are a bitch to style and I have a cowlick right in the middle of the bangs that I have to style them around. The days I don't succeed, I wind up with my bangs flipping out in each direction from the dead middle. Also, for some reason, my hair is no longer getting along with my curling iron. I curl my hair in the morning, and by the time I get to work, it's a frizzy mess that looks like I didn't style it at all. My other option is straightening, which to straighten my wavy hair requires the hottest flat iron I've ever found on its highest setting. Is it possible that because I've been straightening my hair lately, and because the curling iron is cooler than the flat iron, then my hair doesn't respond to the curling iron?

I won't tell you how bad my evening was last night, but let's just say that this morning I want to list vacation destinations I would like to see in my lifetime (possibly alone).

Hawaii
Scotland - I want to take my dad. This is our ancestry, so he would love it.
Vienna - I went after college and really want to go back and take the kids.
London
Paris
Sweden

So tell me, where do you want to go on vacation?

Parenting FAIL

2009-05-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

So last night, as we were getting ready for bed, I was playing with Wildman and happened to look in his mouth. Y'know, because I LOVE baby teeth. There is something awesome about those little, teeny tiny teeth that makes me just want to snorfle him up with my nose. Anyway, as I looked at his teeth, I noticed that his molars had what looked like black spots on their surfaces and immediately freaked the freak out:

Oh my God, he has cavities! Huge, black cavities on both molars on that side. Let me check the other side - oh God, there are cavities on that side, too! He's only two and his teeth are going to rot and fall out and he'll be gumming his food for the rest of life! I have failed and my child will be toothless like an old man before he can speak clearly!

...Or are those crumbs from the Oreos he ate 15 minutes ago? Oh. Let me brush his teeth and see. Oh, look, shiny clean teeth with no cavities.

Tidbits

2009-05-21T06:19:00.000-07:00

Side note: Fiona, you're right - Tidbits is a satisfying little word. And yes, it sounds like cat food.

Another way I'm weird: sometimes I'm psychic about which elevator will come. There are three elevators in our office building - you push one button, one of three will soon open. Sometimes I feel strongly that one certain elevator will be the one to open. Typical of me - I'm psychic about something lame, like which elevator will open, rather than something useful like lottery numbers or when my children are about to swallow something dangerous.

Rock and I have two friends who are going through difficult situations. The good news is that apparently, he and I are the reliable friends who can be turned to in times of crisis and be counted on for advice and assistance. This makes me feel good about us. We're solid and people trust us. OMG, I think we're grownups.

And I know, I KNOW, this is mean, but I'm truly surprised that some of the people I was friends with in school have turned into "Praise the Lord" Christians who post wacky religious stuff on Facebook. One of them just posted, "Another great day in my life - Thanks God for looking after me!!!" A few months ago, he said something about waiting on God's big "O" moment and I could.not.stop.laughing. No no, don't worry about me - I've been going to hell for years.

I'm almost to 200 posts! What should we do to commemorate that? Have a contest, ask me questions, what? I hit 100 posts last year and posted pictures of the whole family. What would you like to see this year?

Hypothetically Speaking

2009-05-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

If, hypothetically, you are constipated, you could eat a Fiber One bar to help with that problem. HOWEVER, if, hypothetically, you are NOT constipated, and in fact, generally lean a bit in the other direction, eating a Fiber One bar will have the same effect on you and try to correct the problem you DO NOT have. By the end of the day, you will be afraid to be more than 5 feet from a toilet. Y'know, HYPOTHETICALLY.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who Pooped 15 Times Yesterday

In other news, meet the world's smallest biker: (That's actually just a bandanna my husband uses when he works outside. No actual motorcycles were involved in the making of this picture.)

Things That Have Been on My Mind Lately

2009-05-14T05:15:00.000-07:00

Um, hi! Long time no talk, huh? Sorry 'bout disappearing. Things have been hectic lately, mainly in the non-discussable work sector. Work's been busy and I went to Richmond for training last week. (Would totally have asked if anyone wanted to meet up, but given that my availability fell from 9-11 Wed. or Thursday night, I didn't figure anyone would be interested.) We've also done one round of lay-offs, so I've been trying to be SuperEmployee to avoid being considered "lay-off-able". "Look, look, I can get here on time!" "Look, look, I can solve your problem!" Gah. That's such a bad feeling.

The other night I was talking to a friend who is single and has no children. She has a dog, though, and we always talk about how much dogs have in common with children. I've told her several times that dogs are excellent preparation for having children. But really, you need lessons from dogs and cats to truly be ready for children:
From dogs:
CANNOT be left unattended.
WILL chew or otherwise destroy all toys (and non-toys) that they come into contact with.
Likely to pee on your bed/couch/floor.
Boundless energy and curiosity about the world, other dogs, other people, basically everyone.

From cats:
Might be finicky eater.
Will not snuggle or sit in your lap when you want them to.
WILL randomly crawl into your lap and snuggle when THEY want to.

Impromptu Movie Reviews

2009-04-30T13:39:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I think the only consistent thing about this blog is that it veers sharply from depressing, introspective posts like the previous one to frivolous stuff like this. There are probably many conclusions that you could draw about my psyche and comfort level with Internet exposure, but let's not go there, shall we?
So! I've seen lots of movies lately, some good and some not-so-good.

Rachel Getting Married - Very good, very funny. Anne Hathaway totally deserved her Oscar nomination. Awesome dysfunctional family story.

The Day the World Stood Still - This was terrible. Keanu Reeves plays an alien who came to earth to destroy humans and save the earth from our terrible pollutin' ways. Of course, Jennifer Connelly and her cute stepson convince him that humans aren't all bad and that at the brink of extinction, we can change. No word on what that change would be, just that we could magically make it because we're scared shitless. Could have been WAY more interesting.

Seven Pounds - Really, really good. I'd say that Rock and I had the storyline pretty much figured out within the first 30 minutes, so don't worry about all that mystery in the previews. Turns out, you can't preview this movie at all without giving away major plot points. It's sad, but the story is so well developed. I wouldn't have missed it.

Tell No One - I rented this because it said on the cover, "Based on the bestselling novel by Harlan Coben". I haven't read Tell No One, but I have read two other books by Harlan Coben (The Woods and Hold Tight) and both of them were excellent. I wondered about this film, though, because the only actress I recognized in it was Kristen Scott Thomas. When I got up to the counter to check it out, the lady said, "It has an English language track - make sure you set that." And then it clicked: the film was French. Kristen Scott Thomas does a lot of French films, too. But the video store lady was right - there's an English language track and there are also English subtitles, which frankly I thought were more accurate. I think they were created from the script, whereas the track was the actors' interpretations of their lines. Anyway, the movie is really good. The main character is a guy whose wife was murdered 8 years earlier. Except now, he's received an email with a surveillance video with her on it.

The Wrestler - Sad. So so sad. You all know what it's about, I'm sure. A washed up wrestler, trying to finally connect with someone - his daughter and a stripper he's in love with. It's such a pathetic story, and so moving.

So what have you seen lately?

Perspective, Again

2009-04-20T06:30:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about my miscarriage and trying again and where I am emotionally. And I've concluded that I'm not ready to try again anytime soon. The doctor advised me to wait three months, and I intend to wait at least that long. Maybe longer. Maybe the rest of this year. I don't want to try again right now. Partly because I'm scared. Partly because I'm just not ready. The part of my heart that wants more children is quiet right now. I feel like it's gone dormant to heal. It's not gone for good, I don't think. Although, sometimes I look at Wildman and think, "What if he's my last baby?" and it doesn't make me sad. I would be okay with him being the last child. But I don't think he will be. I feel like we will have more children, just not right now. I need some distance right now from pregnancy and babies. One of my closest friends is pregnant right now, and while I'm trying to be a good friend to her, I just don't want to hear much about it right now. I don't want to put myself out there again right now. I'm doing some things to prepare, like not getting back on prescriptions that are not approved for use during pregnancy, and I'm going to pick up some prenatal vitamins and folic acid and start taking them, but I'm also not going to chart anymore. Nothing against charting, it's very valuable and it works. I just don't want to get that close to this process anymore. I also want to take some time and do some things for me. I actually didn't want to get pregnant this year in the first place. I had just joined a gym and really wanted to lose some weight and get more healthy. When I found out I was pregnant, I was thrilled of course, and I put my goals on hold. And I know this is going to sound terrible, but I'm not mentioning this my husband right now. The topic of more children and when is very touchy in our household and I really don't want to argue about this. (His position is more children, as soon as possible. I'm the one with doubts, with hesitation.) I'm just going to mark down when my cycle starts and quietly avoid the 12th-16th days. I recently had my first period since the miscarriage and it really screwed with my head. I need to get back to the point where that is a normal function, not some kind of alarm bell in my head. Getting pregnant again is not the answer. Is this an extreme reaction to one miscarriage? Have I lived such a charmed life that one little setback derails me this much? I don't think so. In reading blogs this morning, I came across a sentiment that really resonated with me. Jess was writing about her crazy moving/ friend visiting/ super snowy weekend and she said, "I'm still not quite in the mood to look back and laugh about what a disaster it all was. I think I need a few more months before I have that type of perspective." I think that's exactly what I need, too. A few more months to get some perspective.

Author Interview: Marshall Karp

2009-04-15T06:32:00.001-07:00

Okay, first of all, I owe a HUGE apology to Marshall, Shelly Overlook, and Amy. I was supposed to post my portion of this interview yesterday morning. However, when I got to work yesterday morning, our computer and phone networks were down. It took the entire morning for them to figure out that the problem was isolated to our building rather than our corporate network, and that it wouldn't be fixed any time soon. So I drove over an hour to another office so that I could process our payroll, a task that usually takes a full day. I got everything done, but I didn't have any extra time in which to post this interview. So guys, I'm so so sorry!

Without further ado since this is already a day late, here is what was supposed to be Part One of our interview with Marshall Karp, author extraordinaire:

What is it about your work that would make YOU one of those must-read authors for me? In other words, what will I find that differentiates your mysteries from the work of others? In even OTHER words, sell yourself to me as a potential reader
In a word, CHARACTERS. Read the first three chapters of The Rabbit Factory on my website. It’s free. Then decide, do I want to spend more time with these people? Plots don’t win hearts and minds, great characters do. I would say that ninety percent of the reader mail I get barely reference the plot of the book. Everyone writes to me about the characters. Terry Biggs is such a wiseass. Big Jim reminds me of my father (my mother, myself). I have a crush on Mike Lomax. The same lesson I learned working on series TV applies to the Lomax and Biggs series of books. People come back time after time because they look forward to the predictable emotional experience they know those characters will give them. Even if some of those characters really piss you off, you know you can count on them to deliver. That’s why people keep watching soap operas. And I’m pretty sure that’s why my wife has stayed with me all these years.

Do you have the story planned out completely or do you write it as you go?
I am the consummate index-cards-on-the-corkboard plotter. And I have the push pins scars to prove it. For me writing a book comes easy. It’s like painting a house (with a roller). Plotting it out is like designing one (with a crayon). I vaguely know what I want to build, and the only thing I’m sure of is that I have a deadline to get it done. If I start writing before I’ve blocked it out, I will most likely write myself into a corner. I need the structure of a tight outline first. But structure doesn’t mean I can’t let the characters bust out when they’re so moved (sometimes they know before I do). Once I have the blueprint, the real fun for me is in figuring out how to put my own personal spin on each chapter. At various points in the book Mike and Terry have to recap where they are in their investigation. They do it for each other, for me, and for you. It’s boring if they always do it in the car or the office. That why the card on the corkboard for the book I’m writing now simply says “Mike and Terry recap investigation,” and by the time you read it, it’s a very funny chapter that takes place in a Chinese restaurant.

Do you personally visit all the locales you write about? Will Lomax & Biggs be heading to Hawaii soon?
I wrote The Rabbit Factory on spec. No publisher. No thought that I’d ever get it published. But I had lived in LA during my TV years so I tried to do the best I could without going back. When I started Bloodthirsty I spent a week in LA, at the Hollywood station where Mike and Terry work, the LA County morgue, and cruising the streets looking for a place to dump bodies. But throughout the writing process I find myself needing to find new venues, and for that nothing is handier than Google maps. I’m working on the next book right now. Yesterday I needed to find a Laundromat in Mike and Terry’s jurisdiction. I went to Google and two minutes later I was looking at the perfect storefront and navigating my cursor around the surrounding neighborhood.
As for Hawaii, Lomax and Biggs have fans there and I really, really hope they have a reason to visit. Odds are if they go, they’ll take me along with them.

Have you ever had one of your characters "make" you write something you'd rather not have? Something that felt right for the character, but that you weren't too thrilled with personally?
My characters and I have consistently been on the same page, and while we’ve always been in agreement, sometimes they get way ahead of me. There were a number of times when they were much smarter than I was when it came to solving a case (I know you think I’m kidding here, but it’s true). However, I don’t want to spell out the details, because that might be a spoiler for those who haven’t read it.
I can give you one good example. In The Rabbit Factory, Mike is still a recent widower, but his father, Big Jim, sets him up with Diana, despite the fact that Mike has asked Jim to stop meddling. Mike’s first date with Diana goes well, but he’s not ready to pursue it. At least that’s what I thought. Five days later, she calls him, and he meets her at the hospital where she works, and does her a favor. They’re leaving the building when much to my surprise, this happened:

We took the elevator down to the lobby. “Are you hungry?” she said.
“Starved.”
“What kind of food are you in the mood for,” she said.
Whatever you have in your refrigerator, I thought. But I knew better than to say it. My wife had passed away less than seven months ago. My brother was in deep shit, and my father needed my help digging him out of the quagmire. And my partner, my boss and the governor of California needed me to solve the crime of the century. The last thing I needed at this point in my life was a serious relationship with Diana Trantanella. Then she repeated the question.
“Earth to Mike, I asked what kind of food you’re in the mood for.”
“Whatever you have in your refrigerator,” I heard myself say out loud.
And then I felt her arms around my neck and her lips gently kissing mine. “Are you sure?” she said.
“No,” I said. “Maybe if you kissed me again.”
She did. It was long and deep and went directly to every pleasure center in my body.
“I’m sure,” I said.
Twenty minutes later we were in her bedroom furiously peeling one another’s clothes off. I’d have to call Big Jim in the morning and thank him for meddling in my life.

So, if the question is: was it something that felt right for the character, but that I wasn’t too thrilled with personally, the answer would have to be I was thrilled for Mike and Diana, and relieved that they had taken matters into their own hands, so to speak. There’s so much emotion riding on the first time you go to bed with someone that I was glad the three of us had gotten past it.

You can read the rest of the interview at Amy's and at Shelly Overlook's.
And to answer your burning question about my contest, yes, there is a winner! Fiona Picklebottom will be recieving an autographed copy of Flipping Out and a prize package from me. Fiona darlin', please send me your address (*ahem*and that bribe of devil chicks*ahem*).

The Fuck It List

2009-04-13T13:08:00.000-07:00

I hope you all read Metalia, because she is hilarious. Last Monday, she wrote a song for Twilight: The Musical that is pricelessly funny. The comments are great, also. Lots of songs destined to be classics.

She also recently referenced Michael Ian Black's Anti-Bucket List, which he calls his Fuck It List. Hers is brilliant, so I'm following suit. Basically, here are the 10 things that I do not care about doing before I die.

Shelly's Fuck It List:

1. Appreciate opera - I tried, I really did. I believed that a truly cultured person, such as I aspired to be, would love classical music and opera. And come on, we've all seen Pretty Woman, where it's pretty much a test of her character whether or not she loves opera. So I tried. I attended several operas while I was in college. I even went to an opera that was IN ENGLISH. I STILL couldn't understand a damn thing. A couple years after college, I had a friend who sang opera and she invited me to a production of Manon that she was in. I deliberately didn't call her until after the last weekend of the opera and then played up how sorry I was to have missed it. Then she hit me with the fact that the opera wasn't over, there was one performance left, she had two free tickets and one of our mutual friends was going and I could sit with him. So I was screwed. We sat through that damn THREE HOUR opera (her friend was smart enough to bring a book with him, a fact that made me intensely jealous) and then went and found her afterwards. She was practically in tears and gushed to us, "Wasn't it beautiful? Didn't you cry when Manon died?" Her friend snorted and said, "Manon could have died a little faster for my tastes." And I said, "Yeah, she could have died two hours ago and we could all be home by now." Strangely, that was the last opera she invited me to attend.

2. Appreciate classical music - The predictable corollary to number one would be this. I tried it, too, although not as hard. I hate classical music and I always have. I've attended symphonies and string quartets and every other musical grouping involving a violin, and I'm sorry, this one's a cultural FAIL, too. I've decided to just embrace my inner redneck and give up on culture altogether. Fortunately, I am married to the perfect man for this. Rock's ex dragged him to a concert by a famous cellist (I think) and he fell asleep and snored throughout the performance.

3. Enjoy hiking - This could pretty much be expanded to most physical "pastimes". If it involves sweating, I probably do not enjoy it.

4. Care about sports - ANY sports, up to and including the Olympics. Yes, the NCAA national championship was just won by a team from my state. No, I didn't watch that game or any game leading up to it. This makes me stick out like a sore thumb at work. EVERY person I work with has a favorite team.

5. Acquire a taste for beer - Continuing the "Why I'm Considered Weird at Work" theme, I hate beer. I have tried many, many beers ranging from the cheap and nasty to the girly beers that are supposed to taste like fruit. Each one has that underlying beer taste that I find revolting. I once drank a concoction of lemon juice, sugar, vodka and WATER to avoid drinking beer (it was a combo of the only other drinks the frat guys had in their apartment).

6. Get a tan - I actually gave up on this one in college. I am pale, pale, pale and nothing will change that. I do not tan. I burn, then go directly back to pale white. I have learned, the hard way, that sunscreen is not just a pain in the ass. Again, I married well in that my hubby thinks that powder white, Victorian look is smokin' hot.

7. Take a high paying job that I would hate - Life's just too short. To go along with this, I have promised that I will never take a job if I get a bad vibe in the interview. I did that once, was completely miserable and quit the job after four months.

8. Acquire a taste for fish - I've tried this, too. Everything from flounder to catfish to salmon to sea bass. Every one of them has a horrible fish taste that I despise.

9. Go camping - Dude, I have tried this and unless you have a hotel hidden in your pocket, there is no way you will convince me to go camping. I am not an outdoors girl.

10. Own a sports/ fancy car - I'm not really a car person and I drive my Honda Civic fast enough, thank you. I've driven a Mustang before and it was cool, but I know myself well enough to know how much trouble I could get into with a fast sports car.

So, tell me. What is on your Fuck It List?

Flipping Out!

2009-04-08T14:07:00.001-07:00

The book, not my state of mind. Here's the synopsis:

Nora Bannister is a bestselling mystery novelist who buys run-down houses in LA. While her business partners turn the house into a showpiece, Nora makes it the scene of a grisly murder in her House To Die For series. As soon as the new book goes on sale, so does the house — and the bidding frenzy begins. It seems a lot of people are willing to pay a lot of money to live in a real house where a fictional character has died a violent death.
Just before Nora’s latest book hits the market, one of her house-flipping partners is murdered. LAPD Detectives Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs are assigned the case, but this one is a hot potato – the dead woman is also the wife of one of their fellow cops. As Mike and Terry dig into the victim’s private life, more bodies turn up . . .
Is someone stalking the house flippers or is the murderer after cops’ wives? Either way, Mike and Terry have to track down the killer before he murders his next logical target — Marilyn Biggs, Terry’s wife.

If you haven't read any of the Lomax and Biggs novels, please start with Rabbit Factory. (Really, how many times do I have to recommend this book?!) It's the beginning of the story and starts you off with the characters at good points in their lives. Flipping Out is the third Lomax and Biggs novel. And it is awesome! The mystery is very tightly written - it twists and turns in lots of unpredictable directions. And the characters are as lovable and witty as ever. Mike Lomax is the hero with the heart of gold, again the heart and soul of the book. And Terry Biggs is the sidekick, providing comedy relief in some much-needed places. They make a great team and make this book a treat to read. It concludes with a very satisfying, surprising ending. All around, a great read. I give it 5 stars.

Now, wouldn't you like a chance to win an autographed copy of that fine novel? Send a question for the author, Marshall Karp, to askmarshallkarp@gmail.com, and remember - the more questions you send, the more prizes you can win!

Books By Quarter

2009-04-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

I am totally stealing this idea from Janssen and Elizabeth and partially from Fiona, whose Buncha Books posts are so awesome. I thought this would be WAY easier than waiting until the end of the year to type up my book list. Here are the books I've read this quarter, along with my (hopefully brief) thoughts.

1. 7th Heaven - James Patterson - Seventh book of the Women's Murder Club series. Good series, quick reads. I enjoyed it.

2. The Woods - Harlan Coben - Recommended by Fiona. Really good mystery with lots of unpredictable plot twists. Really liked it.

3. Slam - Nick Hornby - Hornby is the author of About a Boy, High Fidelity, and other British "lad lit" books. They're all very entertaining and quick reads. This one is no exception.

4. Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer - Twilight series. Awful. See previous thoughts here. Um, and here.

5. A Much Married Man - Nicholas Coleridge - For some reason, it took me a really long time to finish this book. It's not that thick, but the type must be really small or something. Anyway, it's not bad. Entertaining.

6. A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens - See, I read classics, too! Very good, very moving, but as is ALWAYS the case with Dickens, too many descriptions. Maybe I just bore easily.

7. Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer - THANK GOD there are only four books in this series. I finally finished the whole damn series. Breaking Dawn is far and away the best in the series, but that is Not. Saying. Much.

8. Rise and Shine - Anna Quindlen - This book is very good until she makes a choice to use one of the characters as a plot device to bring another character home. I hated that choice and it colored the way I feel about the book.

9. Mr. White's Confession - Robert Clark - A very weird mystery. The plot is good and the book is well-written. I can't remember why it leaves me cold. Oh wait, yes, I do. The unlikely couple who become the heart of the book don't end up together. But it's good, and very twisty, and the red herrings are REALLY believable.

10. Revolutionary Road - Richard Yates - No, I haven't seen the movie. The sad part about this book is that the characters are not very likable. With likable characters, I think it would have rocked. And their kids are basically set pieces. In fact, the whole novel reads like a novel about marriage and family written by an unmarried man with no children.

11. Mohawk - Richard Russo - This is Russo's first novel, and it kind of shows. It's got the Russo hallmarks - set in a small town, focuses on families and the challenges they face. It doesn't have a very strong conclusion, though. Some questions are left unanswered. But it's still very, very good, as I hope should go without saying when we're discussing Richard Russo.

12. Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant - Anne Tyler - Has Anne Tyler ever written a bad book? Didn't think so. This one focuses on a mother and her three grown children - her personality, the sibling rivalry and the wounds the siblings inflict on each other.

13. Third Degree - Greg Iles - Another fine recommendation by Fiona. This is a serious thriller that I couldn't put down. I read it in one day and basically did not move from my recliner until I finished it. Gripping, exciting and suspenseful.

14. The Doctor's Wife - Elizabeth Brundage - Ugh. This book was populated by bad characters who did bad things. Nasty little piece of work.

15. A Disorder Peculiar to the Country - Ken Kaufus - A not-really-recommended by Fiona. But the premise sounded so good, I picked it up at a used book store and read it. And um, Fiona was right - it has a kickass premise on which it totally does not deliver. It's not bad, per se, it's just nowhere near as good as it could have been.

16. If Only It Were True - Marc Levy - Weird premise, weird delivery. A guy walks into his closet one day and finds a girl sitting there. She's the "spirit"? of the girl who owned the apartment before him. She's not dead, though, she's in a coma in a hospital across town, and they're getting ready to turn off her life support. Um, it's not that it's bad, it's just REALLY far-fetched.

17. The Good Earth - Pearl S. Buck - Very good. Rags to riches to fall from riches story set in China.

18. Away - Amy Bloom - Amazing until the ending. Too much buildup that didn't get delivered on. The prose is stunning, though.

19. Blindness - Jose Saramago - Tiresome. Kind of a post-apocalyptic novel. People start going blind. It is somehow contagious, so the blind people and the people they've come in contact with are quarantined in a mental hospital. There is one woman who doesn't go blind. I don't know, it was grim and unpleasant, and at first very gripping, but as things got worse and worse, I cared less and less. Maybe I am heartless.

20. Change Me Into Zeus' Daughter - Barbara Robinette Moss - A tough childhood, drunk dad memoir. Very compelling. Very well-written.

21. The Full Cupboard of Life - Alexander McCall Smith - The 6th? 7th? book in the Ladies' No. 1 Detective Agency series. This series is so sweet. I really did not expect to like this series as much as I do. They're like cotton candy - fluffy and sweet and insubstantial. But they're cute little books.

22. Flipping Out - Marshall Karp - I will be telling you all about this book in a week or so. For now, suffice it to say that it's a very sharp, very funny mystery. Oh! And don't forget the contest!

23. Loud and Clear - Anna Quindlen - Essays from Anna Quindlen's years as a NY Times columnist. Some are great, some are annoying, some are just so-so. Overall, the book is enjoyable, if a big dose of "what Anna thinks".

Friday Frivolity

2009-03-26T13:41:00.001-07:00

It's finally Friday on the second Hell Week at work. All my work is done for the week, so I'm going to play on the Internet all afternoon - *shhh*, don't tell my co-workers. (I'm just kidding.) (No, I'm not.)

Since I'm not in the mood to think anymore today, I have some fun stuff to share:

On Wednesday, I was driving in the car with the two kids. The song "Renegade" by Styx came on the radio. Supergirl pipes up from the back seat, "Momma, did you put in the Styx cd?" AWW YEAH! Motherhood: I am totally rocking this gig. (Later, the Rolling Stones came on and I taught her their name. She remembered it at the end of the day, too!)

Where do you rank on the seven deadly sins? Here's my score:

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	High
Wrath:	High
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	High

Discover Your Sins - Click Here
I had a feeling it would be either Sloth or Gluttony and I was right. Should the fact that I'm "high" on two other sins worry me? Nah, I'm too lazy to worry about that!

AND, since my company has fixed our Internet to not crash on any site that has Flash animation, I can now make a Superhero! Presenting The Superhuman Lasered Jones:

Try it yourself at The Hero Factory.

Flipping Out: The Contest

2009-03-26T12:14:00.001-07:00

So! *brisk clap* Who's in the mood for a contest? Oh good, I am too! Why a contest? Well, over the weekend, this blog turned two. And true to form, I didn't even notice slash completely forgot. So to make up for that, we're going to have an extra big contest with lots of prizes. However, a comment on this post is not going to be enough to enter you in this contest. No no, you're going to have to work for this one. In order to be entered in the contest, you must send a question for Marshall Karp, author extraordinaire, to be asked and published in our multi-blog interview of him which will be posted on April 14th. Send your questions to askmarshallkarp@gmail.com, and don't stop at just one question - I'll be giving a prize to the person who asks the MOST questions. And a prize to the person who asks the BEST questions (in my humble opinion, of course.) And a random prize to a questioner picked at random. So you have lots of chances to win. (And don't worry if your question is random or weird. Marshall is a total smartass and lots of fun, so absolutely anything goes with the questions.) And what do you win? Why, I'm glad you asked. The first prize is an autographed copy of the best book I've read this year - Flipping Out! (Does anyone else love autographed books as much as I do? Aren't they just the coolest things EVER?!)

(Doesn't that cover just scream AWESOME!?) I'll be posting a full review of the book on April 8th, but here's a sneak peek - I LOVED it! The next prize is what I'm calling the "Mystery Package". There'll be another copy of Flipping Out, which is a murder mystery, and then other "mystery" items - whether they have a mystery theme or are just a surprise to you. (Read: If I can think of items with a mystery theme, they'll be in there - if not, it will just be a fun prize pack.) And the third prize will be a fun prize pack. I will try to find some Mr. Pickles chickens, but given that I haven't even looked at the craft stores yet, I have no idea if there are any Mr. Pickles available around me. So! Get cracking on those questions, and increase your chances to win a fabulous prize. I'm assuming we'll close the email for questions a few days before the interview is scheduled in order to give Marshall time to answer them, so I would recommend having your questions in by midnight on Thursday, April 9th.

Perspective

2009-03-24T06:03:00.001-07:00

So yesterday, I came in here with balloons and streamers and a plan to throw myself a pity party. I was going to tell you all how work has been "alternately making me homicidal and suicidal" (tm Alice), and how I'm fairly sure I have at least one, but probably two, kidney stones and no time to go to the doctor. Basically, my life has been stinking it up in here. And I was feeling MIGHTY sorry for myself yesterday. But then, something happened that put my life into perspective. I made a business call - just a regular, ordinary call to a business associate whom I had just met. He explained that he could not come to my office this week because there had been a death in his family. His 14 year old daughter had died suddenly, unexpectedly, the night before. I don't have many details and I have no idea what caused her death. I think she died at home, in bed. But the man was devastated. And while I don't believe in the, "shut up about your little problems, there is always someone worse off" school of thought, I have to admit, it DID make me see that despite some little difficulties, my life is damn good. My husband and I and both of our beautiful little children woke up this morning. Maybe we didn't pop out of bed with sunshine and rainbows streaming out of our asses, but we're all here. So for this week, we will be focusing on the positive here at Notthedaddy. Tomorrow, there will be fun and games. But first, today, we're going to have a moment of silence for a 14 year old girl who is no longer with us and her grief-stricken family. May God give them comfort, because I can't think of any available here on earth.

How I'm Weird, Part Two Trillion (Really, Couldn't This Be the Title of EVERY Post?)

2009-03-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

Personality quirk that I like least about myself:

I HATE talking about personal situations with co-workers, especially bosses. So much so that I end up sounding weird and feel like I sound like I'm lying. I hope I really don't sound like I'm lying, but I suspect I do. I tend to just blurt out whatever is going on, offer little to no detail, practically cut off the other person if they try to say something comforting or nice (not intentionally), and lead with the fact that I need time off or whatever other work-related piece of the information that I can scrounge up. The ONLY time I have ever felt genuine when I was telling a supervisor about something bad happening to me was the day I found out my grandmother had passed away. I sent my supervisor an email letting her know what had happened, she called right away, and as soon as I picked up the phone, I started sobbing. Not graceful or dignified, but genuine. Oh, and when I broke my ankle, I called my supervisor and said, "I have a funny story to tell you that's not really funny at all." But that supervisor was a close friend (still is, actually). So that one doesn't really count.

So tell me - how do you tell bad news about yourself or your life to your boss? Is there a graceful way to do it?

Fun Fact Friday

2009-03-06T10:45:00.000-08:00

Alright, that's enough gloom and doom on here. Thank you all for your kind words. I'm feeling much better, physically and emotionally.

Fun Fact Friday: (tm Tess)

1. Today is my mother's birthday. See last year's post as it is still applicable.

2. Impromptu movie review: Changeling. A-freakin-mazing. I'm still glad that Kate Winslet won the Oscar, and I haven't seen The Reader, but she better have BROUGHT IT to have beat Angelina. Her performance in this movie is awesome. The movie itself is very well written and the story unfolds nicely. As a modern woman, it will drive you crazy. Be prepared to yell at the characters on-screen and have your jaw drop open in disbelief at some of the things that happen.

3. Great classic book that I just finished: The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck. It's a rags-to-riches story set in China. Very, very good. A quick and compelling read.

4. Great book recommended by a blog friend: Third Degree by Greg Iles. Very suspenseful thriller. Recommended by Fiona Picklebottom.

Happy weekend everyone! What are your plans?

The Bad News

2009-03-03T07:02:00.000-08:00

There's no good intro to this, so I'm just going to jump right in. I had a miscarriage over the weekend. Saturday evening I started bleeding pretty heavily, so we jumped in the car and went to the hospital. There, they did an ultrasound and determined that although there was an amniotic sac and some "stuff" in it, it was not developing into a baby.

The biggest consolation, for me, is that it was not caused by anything I did or didn't do. I can't beat myself up about it, which I would totally do. I'm sad, of course, and disappointed. I wanted a baby, dammit. The weirdest thing I feel is lonely. I feel like my body is a big house, with lots of rooms, and I'm all alone it in. And someone used to live there with me, but they moved out, suddenly, without even saying goodbye.

I'm back at work today, though I'll probably take tomorrow off to follow up at the doctor's office (I was supposed to do that yesterday, but they were closed due to snow). It's odd, but I feel like I'm thinking about it more here than I did at home. I guess without the kids to distract me, I have too much time to think. I'm mostly okay, with periods of melancholy. I'm glad it happened now, instead of later in the pregnancy. I HATE that I told so many people (not you guys, OBVS, but my whole freakin' office, oh my hell WHAT was I thinking), because it is so hard to keep telling people that it's over. I wish everyone already knew, because I don't really mind talking about the details, but somehow just saying, "I Had a Miscarriage" is a total beat-down.

Words/ Phrases That Will Make Me Want to Punch You in the Face

2009-02-26T11:35:00.001-08:00

Webinar - Nothing makes you sound more douchey than saying "webinar"
Shoot me an email - There are many things you shoot. An email is not one of them.
I'll grab you on that in a minute - this may be exclusive to my office/ company, but it drives me insane
Hunj- (Short for "hundred") - you sound like a douchey frat boy
Verbiage - THIS IS NOT A WORD
Fat-finger - This means to mistype. Perhaps you should just say "mistype".
Head's up - Just sounds dumb

Now tell me - what are your pet peeves?

That Couples Meme EVERYONE is Doing

2009-02-25T06:30:00.000-08:00

I'm sure, like me, you've seen this all over the place. It looks like fun, though, and I had a Valentine's Day post that I planned but never wrote, so...

What are your middle names?
Alicia and Houston. (Technically, mine is now my maiden name, but I'm not putting that on the Internet!) I love his middle name. I keep wanting to pass it on to a child.
How long have you been together?
TEN YEARS!! We got together in our last year of college, which was 1999.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met three years earlier, in an astronomy class, and I would say that I knew who he was then, but we weren't really friends. More casual acquaintances. Then, in the fall of 1998, he moved in down the hall from me and started flirting with me. I got to know him a lot better then!
Who asked whom out?
He asked me out.
How old are each of you?
Last month, Rock hit the big 4-0. And I'm 32.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
We're both only children. (Soon to be raising three children!)
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Everyone has said parenting, and that's true to a large degree of us, too. But, we are very much in agreement on how to raise the children and what is acceptable behavior and what is acceptable punishment, so we don't really disagree on that front very often. I think the hardest situation on us is deciding how many children to have. Rock has always wanted a VERY big family (he started out saying he wanted ten kids! HAHAHAHANOWAYINHELL!!!) whereas I get stressed out by the two kids we already have and am not too sure I want more than 3.
Did you go to the same school?
Yes, that's where we met.
Are you from the same home town?
No. Rock was born and raised in Ohio and moved to NC when he was 17. I was born, raised and have lived my whole life in NC.
Who is smarter?
We're pretty even. Rock remembers a lot more of what he learned in school, but I have the distinct edge when it comes to pop culture.
Who is the most sensitive?
I'm sure this is me. However, Rock can be very sensitive and will occasionally lash out if his feelings are hurt.
Where do you eat out most as a couple? 
There is a really good Mexican restaurant in town. There's also a really great steakhouse, but it's considerably more expensive, so we don't go there as often.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Ah, that would be Montana. We took a huge road trip in 2007, from NC to Montana, SD, Wyoming, etc with a 4 year old and a 7 month old. It was...interesting. I'll leave it there.
Who has the craziest exes?
We're about equal here, too. He has two ex-wives, both of whom were pretty crazy. I have one ex-boyfriend who was an abusive dick and one who is probably gay. Fortunately, we don't interact with any of them, so they mostly exist in stories we tell each other. We have a pretty good time laughing at some of the dumb stuff our exes did and said.
Who has the worst temper?
Rock. I'm the silent angry type.
Who does the cooking?
He does. He is an excellent cook.
Who is the neat-freak?
That would be him. I have piles of clutter all over the place.
Who is more stubborn?
Hmmm....this is pretty even. The real difference is that I will give in and do what he wants so that I'm not alone. If he doesn't want to do something, there is no moving him.
Who hogs the bed? 
Neither of us, really. He basically doesn't move once he falls asleep. I toss and turn in a small area, and we have a king size bed, so there's always plenty of room.
Who wakes up earlier?
On weekdays, I do, because I have to go to work. On weekends, he does, to take care of the kids so I can sleep in.
Where was your first date? 
A little bar/ restaurant in Greensboro called City Lights. I have no idea if it's still there or not.
Who is more jealous?
*mumblemumble* um, that would be me. He gets hit on all the time while he's out with the kids, so I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about this one.
How long did it take to get serious?
It took us a long time to get serious. We dated casually for about two years, then he sort-of moved into my apartment. After 2.5 years, we decided to move in together and bought our house. It still took another 5 years for us to get married.  
Who eats more? 
This is totally a loaded question, isn't it, y'all? He does, because he snacks all day and eats meals, too. I eat fairly large meals, but don't really snack between them (except when I'm pregnant).
Who does the laundry?
He is the laundry KING! Although we both suck at folding and putting away clothes. But he does laundry all the time, and is even willing to stay up and keep an eye on my clothes on Sunday nights.
Who’s better with the computer? 
He would be, except that he never uses a computer anymore. He used to do programming stuff back in the '80's and if he had stuck with it, or if he went back to it, he would be really good. I know how to use a lot of programs and stuff, but I don't know anything about programming languages or things like that.
Who drives when you are together?
He does. I'm a good driver, but I drive too fast (and I have the speeding tickets to prove it). I will occasionally drive, if we're taking my car and I don't want him to move the seat and rear view mirror, but most of the time, I just let him drive. Oh, and he's WAY BETTER in snow and ice.

Oscar Recap

2009-02-23T09:20:00.001-08:00

Oh, wasn't BlogShare wonderful?! I hope you all read all the entries. And thank you for making our guest contributor feel so welcome and for leaving such great comments on her post.

So! *brisk clap* The Oscars were last night and yes, I stayed up and watched them all. I LOVE the Oscars. I love movies and I love acting and I love actors and actresses, so awards for acting? Hello! I'm there! Favorite moments:

In the Barbara Walters interview beforehand, Mickey Rourke offered his take on winning the Oscar: "Let's face it, you can't eat it, you can't fuck it, and it won't get me into Heaven."
Also in the Barbara Walters interview, Hugh Jackman told the sweetest story about his dad. When Hugh was just starting out, he was invited to sing at Carnegie Hall. His dad was flying from Australia to NY and back the next day. Hugh told his dad that the event was black tie. The day of, he finds out that it isn't black tie, calls his dad back and tells him and his dad says okay. Dad arrives to pick Hugh up, and he's dressed in black tie. Hugh reminds him that it really isn't black tie, and his dad looks at him and says, "My son is singing at Carnegie Hall. For me, it IS black tie." While he performed, he could see his dad out in the audience, leaning forward in his seat, tears streaming down his face.
Hugh Jackman as host. He really has that Old Hollywood, song and dance man appeal.
Heath Ledger's win. And his family's acceptance speeches. And the fact that every person the camera focused on had tears in his or her eyes.
Kate Winslet's win. I LOVE Kate Winslet and she has deserved an Oscar many, many times over. Her father whistling so she could find him in the audience was beautiful. So sweet.
Loved having five previous winners present the acting awards. Such nice little touches in their speeches introducing each nominee. I do wish they had played clips of each performance like they used to, though. Some of us haven't seen all of these movies (or any of these movies, as the case may be).
Yes, the Oscars are hella long. But instead of griping and trying to cut stuff each year, why don't they just move them to Saturday night instead of Sunday night? That way, everyone on the East Coast won't have to get up and go to work the next morning. Surely the stars wouldn't mind having an extra day to party it up.
Um, apparently, that Slumdog Millionaire movie is pretty good, huh?

In addition, Supergirl LOVED watching the Oscars, so now I have a buddy to share them with! How cool is having kids?!

BlogShare 2009

2009-02-18T06:15:00.001-08:00

Last year, I discovered BlogShare, in which participants send in an anonymous post and it gets posted on someone else's blog and they, in turn, post a post by someone else in the BlogShare group. I obsessively read every post and thought it was just the coolest thing ever. So this year, I decided to participate. The post below was not written by me. It was written by someone else in the BlogShare group. I wrote a post for BlogShare and it is posted somewhere else. I hope you enjoy and please visit -R-'s blog for more information and a list of all the participants.

I discovered this letter on my computer recently. It was written in late 2006, but each time I re-read it I get as angry as if it had happened yesterday. The relationship my husband and I have with his mother has deteriorated rapidly over the last few years, and this letter that I wrote - but never sent - after a particularly bad encounter shows the issues pretty clearly. Well, some of them, anyway. I don’t think the others can be summed up in fewer words than War and Peace. For the purposes of using this as a post I added a few comments - [bracketed] - for clarification. And names have been removed, obviously.

Dear Mother-in-law:

Before your son and I got married, you told me that I should let you know if you ever did anything to upset me. You said that you didn’t want me to resent you the way you have always resented your in-laws. That being said, some things have happened recently that make me very angry and resentful, and I feel that they should be brought out into the open. I have always thought it better to talk about and air my concerns anyway, rather than stew about them silently.

First of all, I understand that you are upset that I never apologized for the Couch Incident. I think there have been a lot of misunderstandings surrounding that event. My intention was certainly not to hurt your feelings – my reaction to the damage [OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO MY NEW COUCH?!] would have been exactly the same if there had not been anyone sitting on the couch at that time, or if it had been my own mother sitting there. I certainly was not implying that you had anything to do with it, nor did that thought ever cross my mind. I would think you should know me well enough by now to realize I would never intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings like that. I am not in the habit of apologizing unnecessarily. However, I am sorry that you were offended.

I feel that I should let you know what damage has been done to your relationship with your son. He is very hurt by the way things have been going between the two of you lately. He feels like you don’t care about him at all anymore. I’m sure it has not been your intention to hurt him, much as he has never intended to hurt you. He would certainly never admit it to you, but he was very upset by the events surrounding his birthday. The whole “birthday visit” was obviously a thinly veiled ploy to come and see your grandson. And speaking of which, couldn’t you have sent a birthday card to your own son, when you managed to mail a card to your grandson for no reason at all? That card to Grandson arrived the day before your son’s birthday, and it certainly seemed a slap in the face that he never received a card at all. Not to mention a gift. Obviously the gift isn’t the point but it was hurtful for Husband to suddenly not receive one (when you always have given a gift in years past), especially when he found out that his brother received a gift in the form of concert tickets.

If you feel unwelcome in our home, I apologize for that. I don’t ever want anyone to feel unwelcome. Possibly because we don’t get the chance to invite you to visit we are caught off guard when you come. Perhaps this is simply my interpretation of events (as I am only finding things out as Husband tells me), but it seems to me that I am always merely informed that you will be coming - usually the day before [and one time I was notified of your unexpected arrival while I was in the freaking SHOWER] - and consequently feel unprepared. I have always been somewhat of a planner in that regard, and I don’t deal well with last minute changes of plan. I’m happy to host you in my home when I have the time to prepare for it. Making plans well in advance also eliminates the confusion and frustration caused when you want to come up here but we have already arranged to be elsewhere.

I additionally feel that we are owed a measure of respect in our own home, something that was evidently not displayed this weekend. I don’t feel that it is proper to come into your son’s house and start berating him. [I do not actually recall the specifics of this outburst as I was not present, but do remember that it was unprovoked and completely unwarranted.] I understand that you are his mother, but this gives you no right to talk to him that way. In fact, as a mother, I cannot conceive of ever belittling my own son in that manner. I know that you would never tolerate that sort of behavior in your home. Husband is a lot more tolerant than me, that is for sure. Which I imagine is the reason you don’t start such “discussions” in my presence.

I am going to go ahead and let Grandson stay with you while we go on vacation, because those plans have already been made, but please know that my frustration with recent events has given me reason to reconsider. After all, if you will be so hateful to your own son, who is to say you won’t lose your cool with Grandson some day and do the same to him? I cannot allow that to happen. And there is the respect issue in this situation as well. I feel that you have been very disrespectful of me in the way that you care for my son. I recall the very first time I left him with you – your dismissal of my carefully written tips and instructions with a wave of your hand. How distressing for the wishes of a brand-new mother to be so callously ignored in regard to her [9-month-old] baby. It isn’t as though I didn’t trust you, but that action was disrespectful and I found it hurtful. Even now, I am well aware that you do not make Grandson sleep in a separate room when he comes to visit as is the custom at home. This troubles me in that it shows an egregious lack of respect for me, as his mother, when you do not even try to follow along with the routines that I have in place for him. I am a fairly relaxed, laid-back person, but I do get very upset to know that you allow him to sleep with you (and presumably the dog), a break in his routine that causes behavioral disruptions and complications when he returns home. Yes, you are the grandmother and therefore entitled to do a fair amount of spoiling him, but dismissal of routines and contradiction of our feelings is (in my opinion) totally crossing the line. I feel that we need to define some boundaries for the good of our future relationship, and I must apologize for not doing so earlier.

I have to admit that I am so angry right now that my hands are shaking and my heart is pounding. How dare you hurt MY husband. It kills me so see him so upset, thinking that his own mother doesn’t love or even care about him. This is what your actions have demonstrated to him of late, that he is merely the gatekeeper to your grandson, an obstacle to be overcome on the way to the child you truly love. Well, you know what? Grandkids are a privilege, NOT A RIGHT, and you seem to have forgotten this. I will protect my son and will do what I have to do in order to spare him the emotional turmoil and pain that has been caused his father.

Sincerely,
Your [incredibly pissed-off] Daughter-in-law

Fame, Glory and Prizes

2009-02-11T08:05:00.000-08:00

So remember when I posted my Top Ten books of 2008 and Marshall Karp, author of Rabbit Factory and Bloodthirsty, left that awesome comment? And remember how he offered to do a Q&A with us when his new book, Flipping Out, comes out in April? Well, we're making it even better. Instead of just one Q&A, we're doing a three-part Q&A masterpiece. My fellow fans, Amy and Shelly, and I will be jointly hosting a Q&A session with Mr. Karp on April 13th. We've set up an email address, askmarshallkarp@gmail.com for you to email your questions to Marshall. Each of us will carry a part of the Q&A on our blog on April 13th. In addition to getting a Real Live Published Author to answer your questions, we're also giving you a chance to win the grand prize. PRIZE??!!! Did someone say prize? That's right. One lucky person will win an autographed copy of the latest in the Lomax and Biggs series, Flipping Out, due out on March 31, 2009. So send your questions early and often! While I won't guarantee that asking more questions will get you more entries in the contest, it can't hurt, now can it?

Now, as to the person you will be questioning, Marshall Karp is not your stereotypical, prima donna author. He sincerely digs his fans. And he has an amazing sense of humor. In fact, when we told him we wanted to create some graphics to publicize the Q&A session, he asked us what we had in mind. Clever smartasses that we are, we replied with, "How about 'Meet The Asshole Who Wrote This Book?', and without skipping a beat he countered, "Cool — you'll probably want a picture. I'll call my proctologist."

If you haven't read The Rabbit Factory or Bloodthirsty, consider this your motivation to visit your local library or bookstore and at least get yourself a copy of The Rabbit Factory. Seriously, you CANNOT read Flipping Out (you know, WHEN you win!) without first reading The Rabbit Factory. We will take questions for Mr. Karp from now until April 1. Imagine how you could impress your friends when you invite them over, a literary discussion ensues, and you whip out your personally autographed copy of your latest favorite book. That, my friends, is priceless. And not just because you got the book for free.

Things That are True

2009-02-03T10:15:00.000-08:00

(Stolen with all my love from Shauna. Because she's awesome.)

Cat sneezes are funny. Cats coughing up hairballs is quality entertainment and tickets should be sold.

So far, this baby is pretty agreeable. I have not thrown up at all. (Knock on wood.)

It has its annoying habits, though. For example, it hates chicken. And this morning at 3 am, it wanted to stretch its legs. (Seriously, I woke up and COULD NOT get comfortable. I got up and went to the bathroom, even though I didn't have to pee, and it was happy. I could feel it stretch out a little.)

60 degree days are glorious. Immediately following a 60 degree day with a small snow/ freeze event and a high of 40 degrees is just cruel, however.

Buying maternity clothes at 4 weeks pregnant is wrong on MANY levels. Regardless, I will be doing so tonight.

Getting kicked in the eye at 3am by a two year old WILL piss me off. I may swear. - Correction: I will swear, I may threaten violence.

The Twilight series sucks. That said, the fourth book is BY FAR the best. There's a section written from Jacob's perspective that is almost (dare I say it?) almost good.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen is the worst character name I've ever read, and yes, I am including Trading Up, in which I mentally changed Comstock Dibble's name to Tom.

I have too much work to do to be writing this list. Oh well.

I am on Facebook, MySpace and LinkedIn and I still can't find my college roommate. Where the hell is that girl?!

Evil Cackle

2009-01-28T11:31:00.000-08:00

Remember this post? Well, since Monday, my Facebook status has been, "Shelly has a secret". Today, I got a message from Heather's sister saying, "What's your secret????" I wrote back to her, "If I tell you, it won't be a secret anymore...."

I have too much fun being a bitch.

More Details

2009-01-26T08:15:00.000-08:00

So, Shelly Overlook asked for more details, so I'll tell you the story of how I found out.

Last Wednesday, I had my annual exam at the gyno. I was worried about the scheduling because I realized (AFTER I scheduled the appointment, natch!) that it would be just after my period was scheduled to start. I figured I would play it by ear and if it started, I'd call the office and see if they wanted to do it anyway. But it didn't start. So I went on to my appt., not expecting anything. But I asked the nurse, while we were doing blood pressure and all that boring stuff, if she would mind doing a pregnancy test while I was there. I explained that my period was only two days late, so that probably it was nothing, but still. Doesn't hurt to check, right? So she did the urine test and it was....well, not definite. (Y'know how there's one line that means it worked, and then if you are, there's a second line? Well, there was a second line that was so faint that neither she nor I was certain it was there.) So they drew blood (apparently, with a dull spoon - I swear, my arm has never bruised this badly from a blood draw. There is a two inch bruise on the inside of my elbow.) They went ahead and calculated my due date as September 28th and did all the prenatal blood work. Then, I had to call on Friday afternoon to get the final results. I found out for sure at about 4:30 Friday afternoon.

We told our parents last night at a dinner for Rock's birthday. I said, "Well, in addition to Rock's birthday, we have some news to tell you all." Rock's mother turned and looked at me and said, "When's it due?" I just laughed.

News!

2009-01-26T06:11:00.000-08:00

There's been a fair amount of discussion on the blog network lately about expanding families. Swistle and her hubby have hashed out having more children, and Devan and her hubby are discussing having more. And I won't pretend that we didn't discuss it, but Rock and I aren't thinking or talking about having more, we're just jumping right in. Yep, I'm pregnant. Baby number three is on the way!

(Everyone with three or more children, please tell me that it is not as hard as I'm afraid it is!)

Odds and Ends

2009-01-22T10:02:00.000-08:00

Oh, um, hi you guys. So I have something I want to talk about, but I can't yet, because it isn't definite. If you are friends with me on FB, you can see that my status says, "Shelly is waiting on a phone call....NOT PATIENTLY, may I add?" So yeah, I'll update you when that call comes through.

In the meantime, some odds and ends to distract us all:

Today is Rock's birthday! I gave him his birthday present last Friday, when it was delivered, because I just couldn't wait. (Although, he may be getting another present if that f*&^#*&$^ call will come in.)
My (okay, really Supergirl's) snow prayers were answered with 8 inches of snow on Tuesday. That child was in heaven. And I got a day off work, so I was pretty happy, too. The snow was beautiful and now it's mostly gone. And it's supposed to be 60 degrees tomorrow. I love NC weather.
I went to lunch with two co-workers and we talked about books all the way to the restaurant and all through lunch. In the middle of the conversation, one of my co-workers turned to the other and said, "I love discussing books with Shelly." Best. compliment. ever.
I have half a day off work tomorrow to go to the dentist. Supergirl is going with me for a "meet the dentist, have him look at her teeth" visit. She can't wait. (I MAY have bribed her that if she's good, we'll get a surprise after the dentist visit.)

So! Happy Thursday. How's your week going?

Quick Story

2009-01-16T13:55:00.000-08:00

It's been Fart Week around me. It started on Wednesday. A girl from work and I went out to lunch. After lunch, she got in the car while I put my purse and stuff in the back seat. Once I got in the driver's seat, I realized that she had farted while I was putting my purse in the back. I thought, "Well, I won't embarrass her by saying anything. That happens to all of us from time to time. No need to call attention to it." Fast forward to the end of Wednesday. Two of my friends and I went to a local gym for a Pilates class. I parked myself in the next to last row. My friends went to the front row. About halfway through the class, the older lady to my right cut a small fart. Again, I thought, "Well, no need to call attention to it." But about five minutes later, the girl behind me cut a HUGE fart that the entire class heard. Both of my friends were laughing about it after class. Then on Thursday, I was leaving the office to go to the restroom after lunch. One of my co-workers had just returned from lunch through the office side door (the one I was exiting). As I stepped out into the hall, I realized that she had farted just before she walked in. (You would think that would be all the fart stories for the week, wouldn't you? But NO!) This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I heard this huge fart from the bedroom. Rock had farted in his sleep. I teased him about it after he got up.

It is time for a weekend, y'all.

Best Books of 2008, Continued

2009-01-15T08:06:00.000-08:00

You guys! Check out the comments section from yesterday! Marshall Karp, author of The Rabbit Factory and Bloodthirsty and the upcoming Flipping Out, visited and left a great comment. Please check out his website and his books. He is a lovely, lovely man.

The Ten Best Books I Read in 2008 - Part Two
I said that these were in no particular order, but that isn't quite right. They are in the order in which I read them. Not that that really means anything.
6. The Year of Magical Thinking - Joan Didion - Starts at Christmastime, with Joan's 20-something daughter hovering near death from pneumonia and septic shock. After visiting their daughter a few days after Christmas, Joan and her husband John Gregory Dunne, return home and begin preparing dinner. Just before they sit down to eat, John collapses and dies from a massive heart attack. Sounds cheerful, right? It's not, of course, but it is beautiful. A powerful testament to love and to the adage that the living have to go on living.
7. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson - Here's the premise: A financial reporter is successfully sued for slander. He steps down from his editorial position on the magazine he co-owns with his sort-of girlfriend. While he's waiting to begin his three month prison sentence, he receives a summons from an ancient business tycoon. The man has a proposition for him. He wants to hire him for a year (minus the three months in jail) to solve a mystery. A mystery that happened 40 years ago. The man's great-niece, his favorite, disappeared 40 years earlier from an island on which an accident had blocked the only bridge to the mainland. The man wants to know what happened to his great-niece. He offers the reporter (roughly) a million dollars to try to solve the mystery, with the understanding that he probably won't be able to. He offers a bonus of four million or so if he succeeds. This book is unbelievably good. The story is tight and cracks along at a brisk pace. The resolution proceeds plausibly, which is difficult with a storyline like this one. (ie. The evidence that the reporter gathers isn't sitting around after 40 years for no reason.) In addition to the allure of the storyline. there's the writing. The novel is Swedish and set in Sweden. I love Scandinavian novels. The prose is gorgeous and has a slow melody that makes you slow down and savor it. I read three Scandinavian novels this year - this one, Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson (Norwegian), and The Quiet Girl by Peter Hoeg (Danish). All three deliver on writing. Here's a sample, from The Quiet Girl: "It was cold. The way it could be only in Denmark, and only in April. When, in mad enthusiasm for the spring light, people turned off the central heating, brought their fur coats to the furrier, dispensed with their long underwear and went outside. And only when it was too late, discovered that the temperature was at freezing, the relative humidity 90 percent and the wind was from the north and went straight through clothing and skin, deep into the body, where it wrapped itself around the heart and filled it with Siberian sadness." Out Stealing Horses probably has the best prose, with descriptions of the cold landscape and flashbacks to the main character's boyhood. Unfortunately, Out Stealing Horses and The Quiet Girl do not deliver on story the way The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo does. The story in Out Stealing Horses is incomplete. There's a great setup, but nowhere near enough resolution or explanation. And we've talked about the story in The Quiet Girl.
8. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao - Junot Diaz- Won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction for 2008. And I am pleased to report that, unlike 2007's winner (The Road), Oscar Wao actually deserves it. It's the story of Oscar, an overweight and underloved Dominican comic book/ scifi geek growing up in New York. The history of the Dominican Republic, especially under the rule of Rafael Trujilllo, is woven throughout the story. There's practically a history book in the footnotes. Narration of the story alternates between Oscar's sister Lola and Oscar's best friend Yunior, with Yunior's narration composing most the book. Lola's section is a firecracker though, examining the strained and difficult relationship she has with her mother, who has raised Lola and Oscar alone and far from her family. A brief quote from Lola's section: "This is how you treat your mother? she cried. And if I could have, I would have broken the entire length of my life across her face, but instead I screamed back, And this is how you treat your daughter?" Oscar Wao has a tragic ending, of course (it IS titled The BRIEF Wondrous Life for a reason). Don't give it a pass, though, it's a great ride. I would voice one minor complaint that there are a lot of Spanish words and phrases mixed throughout the novel and it is not always possible to figure out the meaning from context. I want to get the book translated and read it again. And I'll warn you, it helps to have read The Lord of the Rings and have at least a passing familiarity with Dune. You don't have to be married to a scifi/ fantasy nerd like I am, but it helps. If you've seen the movie of Dune (which isn't bad - hey, Sting is in it, it can't be all bad), you'll be fine. Unfortunately, watching the movies of LOTR isn't enough. Comparisons are drawn between people in Trujillo's administration and characters in LOTR. For example, someone is described as Trujillo's "Witch King of Angmar" and if you haven't read LOTR, you won't know that it means that he was the chief's right hand man. And I'll throw in a recommendation for LOTR, too. I read it years ago at my husband's request and absolutely loved it.
9. The Hour I First Believed - Wally Lamb - Fans of Wally Lamb (that would be me) have waited ten years since his last novel and The Hour is worth (at least most of) the wait. It's a big, sprawling novel that follows an English teacher (Caelum Quirk) and his family. Caelum is from Connecticut and his family founded and runs a women's prison there. Caelum and his wife leave Connecticut (after some unpleasantness) to make a new start and save their marriage in Colorado. They take jobs at nearby Columbine high school (Caelum teaching English, Maureen serving as school nurse). Caelum is called back to Connecticut unexpectedly, and while he's gone, the Columbine school shooting occurs. Maureen is in the library and hides in a cabinet to escape the violence. After the horror, Maureen and Caelum move back to Connecticut, but find it difficult to pick up the pieces of their life. Caelum's family history and the stories of his ancestors are woven into the story of his present life. Like all of Wally Lamb's books, this one launches in and doesn't let go. Big in scope and in heart, it's very much a tour de force. You won't be able to put it down. In fact, I liked it so much that I went back and re-read Lamb's last novel, I Know This Much is True and it's just as wonderful as I remember it being. Similar to The Hour in breadth and scope, it examines the relationship between twin brothers - one stricken with schizophrenia, the other hamstrung by his sense of responsibility for his sick brother. A wonderful novel, even though the title always gets that Spandau Ballet song stuck in my head.
10. The Soloist - Steve Lopez - A true story - and upcoming movie - this is story of a reporter who befriends a homeless man whom he saw playing a violin on a street corner. Turns out, the homeless man had been a Julliard student until he had a nervous breakdown due to schizophrenia and lost everything. It's a trying book, because you want Steve (the reporter) to wave a magic wand and make Nathaniel (the homeless man)'s life better. But life isn't like that. And this book demonstrates quite clearly that working with the mentally ill is a "one step forward, two steps backward" prospect. There are some stunning successes and I personally dare you to stay dry-eyed throughout the entire book. Written with tremendous emotion, ranging from compassion and caring to frustration, The Soloist is a powerhouse.

Best Books of 2008

2009-01-14T05:50:00.000-08:00

Okay! On to the books that I WOULD actually recommend. We're going to take this in two parts, because I can't get it all written right now.

Ten Best Books I Read in 2008 Part One
(I realize that I didn't say this about the Ten Worst, but they were in no particular order. The Ten Best will also be in no particular order. Ranking things makes my head hurt.)

1. Bridge of Sighs - Richard Russo - If you've read Empire Falls (also by Russo), this one has a similar feel. Small town, a family of characters that you follow throughout their lives. If you haven't read Empire Falls, get on it. Seriously, you are missing out. That is one of the best books I've ever read. It would make a Top Ten list of all the books I've ever read, if I were ever to put one of those together. Russo is the master of the small town and absolutely brilliant at creating characters about whom you care and want to know every detail of their lives.

2. So Brave, Young and Handsome - Leif Enger - I'm sure that no one is surprised that this made the list, given how much I talked about it when it came out. Still, I'll say it again - it's a gorgeous book, written with a midwestern simplicity and sensibility (that's a compliment, in case you can't tell). The characters are fully fleshed, three dimensional and very real. I'll also throw in another recommendation for his first novel, Peace Like a River, which may be a little better than So Brave, Young and Handsome, but they're both excellent.

3. Driving Sideways - Jess Riley - I read this because I found Jess' blog and thought she was funny. I wrote a review to help Jess get the word out about her novel, and she sent me a signed copy. The book is about a young woman who recieves a kidney transplant and thinks that she's channeling her donor. So she hits the road to travel to the home of her donor and learn more about him. Things turn to be quite different from what she imagines, and her health takes a turn for the worse. The book is part comedy, part road trip, part drama. And all of it works beautifully. The story walks a fine line between heartwrenching and uplifting and never descends into maudlin sentimentality or Pollyanna-ish cheesiness.

4. The Rabbit Factory - Marshall Karp - This book has everything. On the surface, it is the story of two cops investigating a series of murders that are taking place on and around a very big theme park corporation (obviously modeled on the Disney empire). And the mystery story is fine, if a bit predictable. That's not what sets this book apart. The main character, a cop named Mike Lomax, is the heart and soul of the book. It is his story and the growth and changes that he experiences that set this book head and shoulders above other mysteries. Several things are going on in Mike's life - he recently lost his beloved wife, after a long and painful illness, and she left letters for him to read each month for a year after her death. His dad, who has been through the same thing (the death of his own beloved wife, Mike's mother), and is happily remarried, is urging Mike to get back into life and start dating again. Their interactions are brilliant. Through his dad's meddling, you can see how much he loves Mike and wants to help him. The characters are wonderful, real and human and powerful. And the character arc of Mike Lomax is a thing of beauty.

5. Belong to Me - Marisa de los Santos - This is a quiet little story about a young couple who move from the city to the suburbs. They struggle to find their place and make new friends. They've struggled in the past with infertility, which isn't discussed, but implied. Gradually, the wife befriends a lady and her son, also newcomers to the suburb. And she becomes pregnant. But when her new friend meets her husband, secrets are revealed. This book is a total sleeper. Everything's moving along quietly, the couple is assimilating into their new home, and then bang! A bomb is dropped on the story. The storyline is believable, which is the key to a book like this. If it hadn't been realistic, the book would have been awful. It's also extremely well-written, which never hurts.

Coming later today or tomorrow - Part Two - Books 6-10.

Edited to Add: Crap! I forgot to thank Shelly Overlook for recommending The Rabbit Factory. I picked it up based on her review.

Books of 2008

2009-01-12T13:02:00.000-08:00

So most people do a Year in Review post. I do a Books of the Year in Review post. This year, I'm going to give you my Ten Best and Worst Books I Read in 2008. I also added a link in the sidebar to my full list of books for 2008 (81 total - oh my god, y'all! I need to get out of the house more!) with a rating system (most of which cleverly stolen from Stephanie). I will be starting one for 2009 as soon as possible, because typing all of those in at once was a bitch! For today, we'll do the Ten Worst. Tomorrow, we'll tackle the Ten Best.

Ten Worst Books I Read in 2008
Caveat: I'm exempting books I read because my husband asked me to and the Twilight series, as I've already discussed it here. And here. Although, I just finished Eclipse, and oh my god, y'all, it just gets worse and worse. *Ahem* moving on to the list.
1. The Bride Stripped Bare - Nikki Gemmell - This was recommended to me by a friend and I hated it. It's about a woman who finds out that her husband is cheating on her with her best friend, so she goes out and finds a lover. Then, she gets back to together with her husband and they have a baby. Every character is despicable (except the baby). They have no redeeming characteristics.
2. Tweak - Nic Sheff - A very disturbing portrait of addiction. I read it and then read his father's memoir, Beautiful Boy, about watching his son descend into addiction. As companion pieces, they are compelling. But the overall picture is pretty appalling.
3. Harvesting the Heart - Jodi Picoult - Boring. Predictable. Unlikeable characters.
4. Under the Banner of Heaven - Jon Krakauer - A tremendously unflattering portrait of the Mormon religion. A history and excoriation of the origins and followers of this faith. (Shockingly enough, the church was outraged when it came out. The version I had was updated with Krakauer's defence of his book. Seems he doesn't realize that he wrote a scathing review of their faith.)
5. Love is a Mix Tape - Rob Sheffield - The story of his first marriage to a woman who died very young. Not to disparage his relationship, but the book is awful. It's completely flat and devoid of emotion.
6. Out - Natsuo Kirino - There is something wrong with the person who wrote this book. I mean, WRONG. I don't usually mind a little twistedness, but this book is creepy. DEEPLY disturbing. I mean, almost gave me nightmares disturbing.
7. Citizen Girl - Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus - This is supposed to be the story of a deeply principled girl who wants to find gainful employment without compromising her morals. Any of her morals. Or performing any work that's "beneath her". Let's all have a good laugh here. That's kind of how I felt at the end of the book. It works hard for its moral outrage, but in the end, it's much ado about nothing.
8. Killing Yourself to Live - Chuck Klosterman - Reporter travels all over the country to the places where rock stars died. Sounds interesting, right? Sadly, it's dead boring. (Get it, "dead" boring? Am amusing only myself.)
9. The Quiet Girl - Peter Hoeg - I agonised over putting this on my Worst list. Because it's beautifully written. Hoeg is Danish, and this book has the Scandinavian flavor that I love. (I'll discuss Scandinavian books on my Best list.) However, this book makes no sense. The story is told in fits and starts and flashbacks and I was never sure if we were in the present or the past of who the main character was talking to. The main character is a circus clown (I think) who hears...well, he hears music in everything and he can hear people's emotions and general state of being. And there are some children, who have similar abilities, who have been kidnapped. And he tries to find them. But frankly, I'm not sure if the children really had abilities or not, or if they were kidnapped or not. The prose is beautiful, but this book is a mess.
10. A Hopeless Romantic - Harriet Evans - Not a horrible book, but terribly predictable. Chick lit romantic comedies are always a little predictable, but this one was extreme.

Happy New Year

2008-12-30T13:37:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all ring in 2009 in the way you like best. We don't have any plans this year, so we will probably throw some steaks on the grill and open a bottle of wine. Low-key IS our style.

Christmas was great. The kids got everything they wanted and more. And the adults got lots of cool stuff, too. Rock and I bought ourselves a new tv, because the one we had was so old that we had to use a converter box in order to plug in a DVD player! I seriously think I bought it in college. So we replaced that.

And Rock and the kids gave me a gorgeous amber locket necklace that I have

barely taken off since I unwrapped it.

And I made a commitment to use the amount of money that my dad usually gives me for Christmas to send toys to needy children. And I spent every dime, plus a little more. Which made me feel really good.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-23T06:11:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope that all of your shopping and running around is done and that you can take some time and relax and spend time with your families. Today is the last day I'm working this week, so I'll have a little time to do last minute things and then relax before the big day. In honor of Christmas, and family, I thought I'd switch things up a bit and tell an old, sweet story today.

Rock and I dated casually for a year or so, then gradually got more and more serious, eventually deciding to move in together. One night, when we were still in the casual dating phase, he called me to tell me that there was a hurricane moving in that night. He wanted to make sure that I had a flashlight and batteries and enough food to get by if the power went out. (I was a 20-something year old female - my entire decorating scheme was candles. I assured him I was good on light.) He also wanted to make sure that I had thought to fill up my car with gas and get money from an ATM, because I wouldn't be able to do either if the power went out. We talked for a little while longer, then hung up. After I hung up the phone, I realized that he had told me he loved me. Not in words, I knew he wasn't ready for that step yet, but by his actions.

God bless us, every one.

Addresses

2008-12-19T13:51:00.000-08:00

Jess, Hot and Mona, please send me your addresses!

And the Answers Are....

2008-12-18T10:15:00.000-08:00

This game was so much fun. Thank you all for guessing. These must have been really hard, because NO ONE got more than one right! Four people got one right, but not all the same one, which amused me for some reason. The lies are bolded below and the winner of each round is listed.

Round One:
1. My husband was married twice before me.
2. I was fired from my first job (after college) for performance. (This is very nearly true. I was severely reprimanded and came damn close to being fired.)
3. I can play the piano.
Winner: Shelly Overlook

Round Two:
1. I started dance lessons when I was 3.
2. I worked for a US Congressman.
3. I was the valedictorian of my high school class. (Again, very nearly true. I was the salutatorian.)
Winner: Mona

Round Three:
1. I have a friend who is a transsexual.
2. I've had seven speeding tickets.
3. I've stayed friends with every guy with whom I've had a significant relationship. (Nowhere even close to the truth. I have never stayed friends with an ex, no matter what length the relationship.)
Winners: Hotfessional and Jess

Ladies, if you will email your address to me at sm_rl@hotmail.com, I will send you a little something.